


Yellow Wolf

by Bluefrost1800



Series: Wolf Family [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Female Dipper Pines, Gen, Genderbending, Magic, Magic training, Original Character(s), Swearing, Wolves, half vampire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-05-15 08:26:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 47,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5778478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluefrost1800/pseuds/Bluefrost1800
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper Pines and her sister Mabel go to Gravity Falls to spend the summer with their grunkle Stan. While nailing some signs in the woods Dipper finds a journal but she also meets someone who changes her whole life in just a few moments. With that meeting come magic lessons, family history lessons, wolves, a half-vampire, a world wanted criminal and potentially losing her sister.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meet the twins

**Author's Note:**

> Whoever does not like Gravity Falls or does not like my writing doesn't have to read this.I write it just for fun and I'm not forcing anyone to read it.So don't leave hate comments and just read something else if you don't like it.

_**Ah, summer break.** _

"So you want cheese on that, hon?"asked a man in his early twenties grilling burgers while the kids were running around and other people were sitting at a picnic table.

_**A time for leisure, recreation, and taking her easy. Unless you're me.** _

A teenage boy and two girls ridding a golf cart crashthrough the 'Welcome to Gravity Falls' billboard, screaming and being chased by an unknown creature. One of the two girls was driving while the passengers looked back.

"It's getting closer!"yelled the boy. He had short blond hair, blue eyes and pale skin. He was wearing a black v-neck t-shirt, blue jeans and red converse. The girl that wasn't driving had long brown hair that curled at the end and brown eyes. She was wearing a purple sparkling sweater with a cat on it, green skirt, black sneakers, a green headband and star shaped earrings. The girl that was driving looked like the other girl and that was understandable as they were twins. She had her hair tied into a high ponytail and was wearing a simple red t-shirt, blue shorts, black sneakers and a blue vest. The unknown creature tries to catch the cart but falls short. The cart flies off a rock and lands roughly.

_**My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my sister Mabel and the blond hottie is Liam but don't get your hopes up, he has a girlfriend. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror.** _

Suddenly, the monster threw a tree that nearly hit them. "Look out!"yelled Mabel.

_**Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation. Let's rewind. It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air.** _

***FLASHBACK***

 The girls were in the living room of their house in Piedmont, California. Dipper was laying on the couch and reading a book while Mabel was sitting next to her and knitting a sweater. Their parent suddenly walked in and looked at them.

"Is this what you're going to do all summer girls?"asked their father.

"Pretty much."they answered in union, not taking their eyes off of what they were doing.

"How about you spend summer in Oregon with your great-uncle?"suggested their mother.

"I wouldn't mind. What about you Dipper?"asked Mabel, looking at her sister who just shrugged.

***END OF FLASHBACK***

_**They shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods.** _

When the twins arrived at their room in the attic they started unpacking. The room featured a triangular window that faces the same direction as the main entrance, multiple old arcade games, a coffin used as a TV table, a small area with a second window, two closets, two beds, a table under the window and a night table next to it.

"This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!"said Mabel after she had attached some posters.

_**My sister tended to look on the bright side of things.** _

Dipper and Mabel were outside and doing their own things. Mabel was rolling in grass while Dipper was under a tree and trying to read a book. Key word 'trying'. A woodpecker was pecking on her hat.

_**But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings.** _

A man jumped behind her in a mask, effectively scaring her. He took off the mask and laughed before starting to cough and hitting his chest. He was wearing a black suit, a red fez and rectangular glasses.

_**And then there was our Great Uncle Stan. That guy. Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called 'The Mystery Shack'. The real mystery was why anyone came.** _

At the Mystery Shack Stan was showing some tourists fake creatures. "Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!"he showed them a what appeared to be a sasquatch wearing underwear. The tourists started speaking excitedly and snapped pictures.

_**And guess who had to work there.** _

The girls were nearby sweeping the floor. Dipper looked at the group and sighed, already bored.

_**It looked like it was gonna be the same, boring routine all summer. Until one fateful day...**_

* * *

Mabel was peeking through Stan-bobbleheads. She was wearing a peach colored sweater with red-violet-magenta jagged stripes design, a dark green skirt, red headband, black sneakers and green feather earrings.

"He's looking at it! He's looking at it!"she repeated. She was looking at a boy who was reading a note she had written.

"Uh.. Do you like me? Yes? Definitely? Absolutely!!!"he read and looked around.

"I rigged it!"she said. Behind her her sister was spraying a jar with water and wiping it.

"Mabel, I know you're going through your whole 'Boy Crazy' phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the 'crazy' part."she said. Dipper was wearing a white tank top, jean shorts, black sneakers and a brown cap with a star on it.

"What?"asked Mabel and blew a raspberry. "Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!"

"Yeah, but do you need to flirt with _every_ guy you meet?"she asked remembering every time her sister flirted with a guy this summer.

"Mock all you want, sister, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now."she said pointing at the entrance to the museum. Stan walked through it, holding fliers and signs. He burped but it got caught in his throat.

"Oh! Oh, not good. Ow."he said.

"Aww! Why!"said Mabel as her twin laughed.

"All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

"Not it!"said the twins quickly.

"Uh, also not it."said Soos who was installing a shelf on the wall. Soos had light brown hair, brown eyes and light peach fair skin. He was wearing a light brown cap, dark brown shoes, beige shorts and a jade green-ish gray shirt with a big dark green poorly painted question mark on the front and the word 'staff' on the back, which was from the Mystery Shack.

"Nobody asked you, Soos."

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that."he said and started eating a chocolate bar.

"Wendle, I need you to put up this sign!"he said turning to the redhead at the cash register who was reading a magazine. Wendle had shoulder-length red hair, green eyes and fair skin with freckles. He was wearing a open green flannel shirt with a white undershirt, blue skinny jeans, muddy rain boots and a tan and dark brown lumberjack hat.

"I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh..."he said, pretending to reach for the signs.

"I'd fire all of you if I could. All right, let's make it... eenie, meenie, miney... you."he pointed at Dipper.

"Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched."

"Ugh, this again."he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out 'BEWARE'."she showed him her arm and he looked at it.

"That says 'BEWARB'. Look, kid. The whole 'monsters in the forest' thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that."he pointed to a sweaty guy laughing while looking at a Stan-bobblehead's head bobble. "So quit being so paranoid!"he said and gave her the signs.

* * *

Dipper was in the forest hammering signs on trees and murmuring to herself unaware of the two glowing yellow eyes watching her from the shadows.

"Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say."she said, hammering a sign that said 'To The Mystery Shack'. She started to hammer a nail on another tree trunk, but it made a metallic sound. She tapped the tree with the hammer, which made more metallic sounds. Wiping away some dust, she opened a secret window revealing a mechanical box with two control switches on top. She tested one control but nothing happened. Then she tried the other and behind her a hole opened up in the ground.

"What the...?"she looked inside the hole and there was a book. She picked the book up and placed it on the ground, checking if anyone was watching. The book was maroon colored and had a six fingered hand with the number three on it. She flipped one page and an eye-glass is in it. She looked at the eye-glass and put it down. Flipping to another page she began to read aloud.

 _"_ _It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon."_ she flipped through the pages. "What is all this?"she asked no one in particular and stopped at a page that said **TRUST NO ONE**  and continued to read.  _"Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before_ **he** _finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust."_ she closed the journal. "No one you can trust."she repeated and heard a grow. Looking up she saw the two glowing eyes and froze. The creature came closer and it was revealed that instead of one there were two wolves that were bigger than any ordinary one. The one on the left had it's right eye shut and there were three scars going down it, the same was with the other wolf on it's left eye. The wolves had brown coats but the color on their legs were of a darker shade. They came closer and closer, their grows growing louder and louder. Dipper knew she had to run but was frozen in fear, her eyes not leaving the wolves. Finally they leaped at her, making her fall on her back and knocking the air out of her. They opened their mouths, showing the impressive sets of teeth and she screwed her eyes shut expecting pain. When none came and she felt something wet and cold touch her she dared to open her eye. What she saw was not what she expected. The wolves were sniffing her and were wagging their tails.

"Where are you, you stupid mutts!?"yelled someone and the wolves raised their heads. She looked past the wolves where the bushes rustled and a man came out of them. He had blond hair, ocean blue eyes and pale skin. He was wearing a purple dress shirt, black jeans and black dress shoes; he was obviously not a hiker. "Do you have any-What the hell are you doing!?"he yelled when he saw them. One of the wolves went to him while the other continued to sniff and now lick her. The blond knelt down and moved his face closer to the wolf's. After a moment his eyes widened and he slowly looked at her.

"It's you.."he whispered. "It's really you."he said this time louder. He walked closer to her, the wolf getting off of her, and fell on his knees before her. "I can't believe it..."there were unsheathed tears in his eyes.

"Who..who are you?"finally asked Dipper and instead of an answer she got a hug from the man.

"You came back...you finally came back!"he sobbed on her shoulder.

"Sorry, but I think you've got the wrong person."she said. The man must had realized what he was doing and released her from the hug.

"Sorry..I know this might seem strange but even though you don't know me I know you."

"Well that isn't creepy at all."she said sarcastically and stood up. "Listen man, you obviously have the wrong girl so I'll just go."she picked up the journal and turned to leave.

"Wait!"he stopped her. "I can explain! You found the journal so that means that you know of the strange things happening in Gravity Falls."he said and she turned to him.

"Yeah, so what?"she asked, tightening her grip on the journal. The man smiled and brought his arms together in front of her. The brunette was confused at that and a bright red flame erupted from his palms. The flame took the form of a phoenix and flew around them before going up and erupting again and turning into snow.

"Snow?"she asked and looked at the man who was now smiling.

"It's an old family spell. We got off on the wrong foot so can we start over?"he asked rubbing the back of his neck. Dipper though for a moment before hesitantly nodding.

"Wicked. My name is Liam and I'm 17. The mutts are Henry"he pointed to the right eyed wolf. "and Rex."he pointed to the left eyed one. "Sorry for scaring you, we were just excited to finally meet you."

"I'm Dipper Pines and I'm 12."she said and thought for a moment before asking him. "I thought you said you knew me."

"I've only heard stories about you. Anything else you want to ask me?"

"That thing you did with the flame. How did you do it?"she asked taking a step closer to him.

"Like I said, it's an old family spell. We usually teach our young when they're four so that they can get the hang of magic."he explained, making the flame in his hand.

"Amazing. Can you teach me?"she asked.

"It's a bit too early for you but I will."he said and got closer to her.

"DIPPER!"

Dipper froze and looked behind her to where the yell came from. She looked at Liam, then at the wolves and then at the journal.

"She can't know about this."said Liam and she looked at him. "Give me the journal."he said, reaching for the book but Dipper pulled it away.

"I still don't trust you."she said.

"I know but you can. We shall hide until your sister goes away but she must **not** know about the journal."he said as the wolves returned to their previously hiding spot. She looked into his eyes and did not see a reason not to believe him. She gave him the journal and watched as he also hid. She turned around to where her twin's voice was lastly hear and a moment later her twin jumped up from behind a log.

"Hello."she says happily. "What'cha doing?"she asked.

"Putting the signs Grunkle Stan gave me. You?"she answered, trying to keep her voice even.

"Well I just met the best girls ever!"she bragged. "I met them while I was in town."

"What were you doing there?"

"Oh, you know, trying to get a boyfriend. Which I did!"she screamed the last part.

"Let me get this straight: in the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?"

"What can I say? I guess I'm just IRRESISTIBLE!"she gasped. "I have to get ready for my date!"she said and started running in the direction of the shack. The moment she was out of sight Liam and the wolves came out of hiding.

"So..that was your twin?"he said slowly, uncertain.

"Yeah."

"...I don't see the resemblance."he said and gave her the journal.

"Yeah..."they we silent for a moment. "Can you teach me magic another time?"

"Sure."he raised an eyebrow. "But why not now?"

"I have to see Mabel's 'boyfriend'."she said using air quotes.

"Why?"

"Because I have a really bad feeling. It's like something awful is going to happen to Mabel soon."she explained, placing her hand on her chest.

"That's good."The brunette looked at him to see him grinning. "That means your powers are awakening."

"Powers?"she asked intrigued.

"I'll tell you later. Your sister must be in danger if you feel it."he said, completely serious. One of the wolves, Rex, walked up to her and crouched. She looked at him and then at the blond.

"He wants you to ride him."he said. "He'll take you to the Mystery Shack before your sister even reaches it."she nodded and carefully sat on the wolf's back.

She held tightly on his fur with both hands, journal under her arm. He stood up carefully and started walking around to get used to the extra weight. After a moment he turned to the direction of the shack and started running. The scenery around them started to blur and Dipper could feel the wind in her hair. Her heart was speeding up with every second that passed but not out of fear, but excitement. She leaned forward and slowly opened her eyes. She saw the scenery and liked the way the sun was filtering through the tree branches. She soon let go of this fur with one hand and then the other, knowing what will happen if she wasn't holding on and not caring. This moment was memorable and it didn't matter if she fell and broke her neck. All too soon the ride ended an they were at the treeline surrounding the shack. The wolf lowered himself and she got off. She looked at him and lightly petted him.

"Thank you for the ride."she whispered before heading towards the shack. She looked at him one last time before going in. Rex watched for a moment longer before he left. Inside Dipper waited in the living room for her sister. In the living room there was a yellow armchair, an old TV, an aquarium, a dinosaur skull and a round table with four chairs. Shortly after she arrived arrived Mabel.

"Whoa. How'd you get here so fast?"she asked.

"Uh, I took a shortcut."she said.

"Hmm.."her twin looked at her suspiciously. "Ok."she broke into a smile, not noticing the sigh of relief her twin gave. At that moment the doorbell rang and Mabel ran towards the door with an 'I'll get it' yell. Dipper sat down on the armchair and began to read the journal. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her grunkle coming, quickly hiding the book under the cushion she grabbed a random magazine and pretended to read it.

"What'cha reading there, slick?"he asked.

"I was just catching up on, uh..."she looked at the cover "Gold Chains For Old Men Magazine?"

"That's a good issue."he said.

"Hey, family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!"said Mabel and the guy next to her turned around to face them. He had dark brown hair covering his left eye, pale skin and black eyes. He was wearing a black hoody with the hood up and ripped at the left shoulder, blue ripped jeans and black sneakers.

"'Sup?"he waved at them.

"Hey..."waved Dipper in return.

"How's it hanging?"greeted Stan.

"We met at the cemetery. He's _really_ deep."said Mabel and felt his arm."Oh. Little muscle there. That's...what a surprise..."

"So, what's your name?"asked the twin.

"Uh. Normal... MAN!"he yelled.

"He means Norman."said Mabel and leaned onto him.

"Are you bleeding, Norman?"she asked noticing the deep red liquid dripping down his face.

"It's jam."he said and Mabel gasped.

"I love jam! Look. At. This!"said the brunette pointing at herself and Norman.

"So, you wanna go hold hands or... whatever?"he asked.

"Oh, oh, my goodness."she giggled. "Don't wait up!"she ran out. Norman pointed at Stan and Dipper and ran into the wall several times on his way out.

_**There was something about Norman that wasn't right. I decided to consult the journal.** _

* * *

 Dipper was in the attic reading the journal, sitting on a plush red window seat with a stained-glass window, designed in the form of Eye of Providence that overlooked the back porch.

 _"Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls's nefarious..."_ she read out loud and gasped. She was on the journal page about **The Undead** and imagined the picture of the zombie becoming Norman.

"'Sup."she imagined him saying.

" **ZOMBIE!** "she yelled. The yelled carried through the house and Stan, who was in the bathroom fixing his bow tie, heard it. "Somebody say 'crombie'? What is that, crombie? That's not even a word. You're losing your mind."he told himself.

Realizing what that meant Dipper looked out the window to see Norman walking towards Mabel with outstretched arms while moaning. Mabel was sitting on a picnic table, kicking her feet, not at all bothered what might happen to her at that moment.

"I like you."she told him.

"Oh, no! Mabel! No, no, Mabel, watch out!"yelled Dipper.

"Huh, huh!"he put his hands around her neck and Dipper's heart stopped at that moment, but it started again when Norman removed his hands to reveal a flower necklace made out of daisies.

"Daisies? You scallywag..."she told him. Breathing out a sigh of relief Dipper stood up. "Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?"she thought out loud.

"It's a dilemma, to be sure."answered Soos who was screwing on a lightbulb and startled her. "I couldn't help but overhear you talkin' aloud to yourself in this empty room."he said and continued working on the lamp.

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?"she asked.

"Hmm. How many brains didja see the guy eat?"he asked.

"Zero."she looked down.

"Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf."

***FLASHBACK***

Soos was eating his lunch on a bench when a very hairy mailman walked by him. He scooted away from him, suspicious.

***END OF FLASHBACK***

"But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you’re a major league cuckoo clock."he told her.

"As always, Soos, you’re right."she agreed.

"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse."

"Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!"yelled Stan from another room.

"I am needed elsewhere."he said and left the attic.

_**My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence.** _

* * *

Dipper was in the park spying on Norman and Mabel who were playing a game of Frisbee.

"What do you think you're doing?"asked a familiar voice. She looked over her shoulder to see Liam.

"Oh, hey. I was just spying on my sister and her so called 'boyfriend'. You?"

"Just passing through. So what do you know about the guy?"he looked at Norman with a raised blond eyebrow.

"I think he's a zombie but I need proof or else people will think I'm crazy."she said and looked back at them. Mabel threw the frisbee at Norman, hitting him on the head and making him fall. They both frown, a little disturbed on Dipper's side, at that.

"...He doesn't look like a zombie."Liam said after a moment.

"How do you know?"she asked getting up as her sister and Norman headed somewhere.

"A friend of mine actually dated one."

"Seriously?"she asked, dumbfounded.

"Yeah, so I know a little about zombies."he shrugged. The two of them continued to follow the couple, a few feet behind them as to not make it too obvious but close enough to hear them.

"Where should we go now?"asked Mabel as she skipped.

"Uh, I know this diner where we can eat and stuff."Norman said.

"Oh, oh my."giggled and blushed Mabel.

"I know where they're going."said the blond. "Let's take the shortcut."he turned right and Dipper hesitated a little before following him. They walked for a short amount of time before reaching a diner in the shape of a fallen redwood log. There is even the stump of a redwood located on its right, as though the tree was chopped down right there and made into the restaurant. There was a sign over it reading the diner's name 'Greasy's Diner' and under it an attached sign 'We have food' as if that wasn't obvious enough. Close by there was a wooden pole with a light hanging from it, and a banner on one side that simply says 'Eat'. The diner was on a train car that was labeled 'Gravity Falls 1883', with steps leading to the entrance and back (side?) door.

"You sure they're going to come here?"she asked as they walked up the stairs.

"Positive."he opened the door to her and she thanked him. The inside was like any other diner with a long counter with bar stools, booths, an old-fashioned jukebox and a cake display. The floor was wooden and the walls were made out of logs. They sat in one of the booths and looked in the menu. "So what do you want? You can order anything, my treat."he said.

"We're not here to eat, we're here to spy on my sister."

"We will but it will seem pretty creepy for us only to sit here waiting for them then leave without ordering at least a drink."he closed the menu and signaled for a waitress.

"Hmm...you've got a point."she said as the waitress arrived. The waitress had brown eyes with her left eye closed, her grey hair styled in a beehive and was wearing light blue eye shadow. Her uniform consisted of a grayish rose dress and a white apron around her waist that had a brown stain that looked like coffee.

"What can I get you dears?"she asked them sweetly.

"Black coffee and green tea."said Liam and the waitress nodded as she wrote it down.

"Anything else?"she asked.

"No, thank you."he said and she left.

"How'd you know I liked green tea?"asked the brunette.

"Like I said I've heard stories about you. Oh, here they come."he said and raised the menu to hide his face. Dipper looked at the door and saw how Norman's breaking through the door window to open it from the inside and letting Mabel inside the diner. She quickly hid behind her menu like Liam and listed how Norman stumble around and crash, trying to follow Mabel. Luckily they sat only a booth away so they could hear them. They both put down the menus and tried to listen.

"I'm having a wonderful time with you Norman."sighed Mabel.

"Here you go dears."the waitress gave them their orders and went to serve the other clients. They sat there drinking their drinks and listening to Mabel talk about her sweaters, crafts and how she can stuff gummy worms in her nose to which Liam shivered in disgust.

"Are you sure you're related?"he asked at that.

"Yeah, I checked."she said and continuing to listen. When Mabel and Norman left Liam paid the bill and they followed the 'couple' as theyfrolicked in the cemetery. Without seeing the open grave Norman fell into it and crawled out, hands first screaming. They paused then started laughing. From the bushes Liam and Dipper were frowning at that.

_**I'd seen enough.** _

* * *

 The next day Dipper went to her shared room where her sister was brushing her hair.

"Mabel. We've gotta talk about Norman."she said in a serious tone.

"Isn’t he the best? Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!"she showed her cheek which has a red spot on it and Dipper squawked.

"Ha, ha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower!"

***FLASHBACK***

Mabel was behind the shack with a leaf blower that sat on top a garbage can. She switched it on and put a picture of Norman with his mouth area cut out on the leaf blower's tube.

"Kissing practice!"she leaned into leaf blower, but then it sucked in the picture and stuck to her face; she ran around hitting it on the grown, her yelling muffled. "AHHH! Turn it off! Turn it off!"

***END OF FLASHBACK***

"That was fun."

"No, Mabel, listen! I’m trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!"she said, wondering just how much she could tell her without mentioning the journal.

Her twin gasped. "You think he might be a vampire? That would be so _awesome_!"

"No, Mabel I think Norman is a...zombie."she said.

"A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper."he twin frowned.

"I’m not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?"she asked.

"Maybe _he’s_ blinking when _you’re_ blinking. Wait! How do you know about all that? Were you  _spying_ on me?"she asked.

"Um...maybe.."

"DIPPER!"

"Ok, YES! I spied on you but Mabel."she grabbed her shoulders and shook her ."He's gonna eat your brain!"Mabel pushed her away and looked her straight in the eye.

"Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o’clock, and I'm gonna be ADORABLE, and he's gonna be DREAMY,"she pushed her out of the room.

"Bu-bu-but-"tried Dipper.

"And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES!"she slammed the door in her twin's face. Dipper sighed and sat down, her back against the door.

"What am I gonna do?"she asked herself.

* * *

 It was 5 o'clock when the doorbell rang and Mabel raced down the stairs, putting on a sweater.

"Coming!"she said and opened the door. "Hey, Norman. How do I look?"she asked showing off her sweater.

"Shiny..."he shrugged.

"You always know what to say!"she walked off with him. Dipper and Liam were in the living room watching the videos they collected.

"Soos was right. I don’t have any real evidence."she said, watching a video that showed Mabel teaching Norman hopscotch, but he only fell over.

"Come on! I'm sure there is evidence or my name isn't Liam Murik."he said and took the camera.

"Murik?"she raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah,my eighth great _-_ grandfather was from Denmark."he fasts forward to Mabel and Norman with Norman's arm around Mabel.

"Oh, but I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and-"on the tape, Norman's hand falls off; he glances around, then reattaches it. "Wait, WHAT?!"she screamed and Liam re-winded and they watched it again. "I was right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

"You were right!"screamed Liam.

"I was right!"she screamed back. They calmed down and smiled at each other before they realized what that meant. They both raced out the door and to where Stan was on a stage in front of a bunch of tourists.

"And here we have Rock that looks like a face rock: the rock that looks like a face."he said.

"Does it look like a rock?"asked a hillbilly.

"No, it looks like a face."he said.

"Is it a face?"asked a fat tourist.

"It’s a rock that _looks_ like a face!"he said, getting irritated.

"Over here! Grunkle Stan!"yelled Dipper.

"Mr.Pines! Mr.Pines!"yelled Liam.

"For the fifth time! It's-it's not an actual face!"yelled Stan.

* * *

 Mabel and Norman were in the woods alone while all that was happening.

"Finally, we’re alone."said Mabel as Norman walked behind her.

"Yes. Alone..."he agreed.

* * *

"Stan! Stan!"they yell and Dipper saw Wendle drive up in a golf cart and ran over to him.

"Dipper?"asked Liam.

"Wendle! Wendle! Wendle! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!"she yelled and he gave her the keys.

"Try not to hit any pedestrians."he said and walked off.

"Sweet, you got us a ride!"said Liam.

"Yeah, hop in!"she said and got in with the blond. She started driving in reverse but Soos stopped her.

"Dude, it's me: Soos. This is for the zombies."he said giving them a shovel.

"Thanks."said Liam.

"And this is in case you see a piñata."he handed them a baseball bat.

"Uh..."Liam glanced at Dipper for a moment. "Thanks?"they drove off.

"Better safe than sorry!"yelled Soos.

* * *

 "Uh, Mabel, now that we’ve gotten to know each other, there’s..."exhaled Norman. "...there’s something I should tell you."

"Oh, Norman, you can tell me anything!"she said and chanted 'Please be a vampire, please be a vampire!' in her head.

"All right, just... just don’t freak out, okay? Just... just keep an open mind, be cool!"he unzips his coat and throws it off; underneath are five gnomes standing on top of each other. "Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?"spoke the top gnome while she stared at them in complete shock. "R-r-right, I’ll explain. So! We’re gnomes. First off. Get that one outta the way."

"Uh..."

"I’m Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and..."he introduced from right to left. "..I’m sorry, I always forget your name."he told the gnome that controlled the left leg.

"Schmebulock."he said and Jeff snapped his fingers.

"Schmebulock! Yes!"Mabel sat down on a rock and face-palmed. "Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right, guys?"

"Queen! Queen! Queen!"the other gnomes chanted.

"Heh. So what do you say?"Jeff tapped Steve with his foot, and the gnomes work together to make 'Norman' kneel in a proposing fashion. "Will you join us in holy matrignomey? Matri...matri- _mo_ -ny! Blah! Can’t talk today!"

The brunette sucked a breath. "Look... I'm sorry, guys. You're really sweet, but, I'm a girl, and you're gnomes, and it's like, 'what?' Yikes..."

"We understand. We'll never forget you, Mabel."the gnomes looked sad and Mabel smiled. "Because we're gonna kidnap you."

"Huh?"they yell and jump at her and she screamed.

* * *

Liam and Dipper were driving down a deserted path in full speed when Liam put his index finger and thumb in his mouth and loudly whistled.

"What was that for?"she asked and to answer her question the two wolves ran up to them.

"We're going to save Dipper's twin so do  **not** bite the girl that looks like her. Understood?"he asked and the wolves ran ahead of them. "Gods. I sure as hell hope they understood."he said.

"Don't worry, Mabel! We'll save you from that zombie!"yelled Dipper, hoping that her twin heard.

"HELP!"screamed Mabel.

"Hold on!"yelled Liam and looked around before pointing at a direction. "That way!"he yell and Dipper made a sharp turn to the right. They went through a tunnel made out of trees before reaching Mabel.

"Catch those wolves and don't let the queen leave!"yelled Jeff. The wolves were trying not to bite the gnomes as they protected Mabel.

"What the _heck_ is going on here?!"yelled Dipper as they arrived.

"Dipper! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks!"she said and a gnome pulled her hair. "Hair! Hair! Hair!"

"Gnomes? Huh, I was _way_ off."she turned around and took out the journal, turning it to the page about gnomes and read aloud. _"Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown."_

"Aw, come on."groaned Liam next to her. Dipper lowered the book and put it inside her vest. She turned back and saw that the gnomes had managed to tie Mabel and the wolves to the ground.

"Hey, HEY! Let go of my sister!"she walked up to Jeff.

"Oh! Ha ha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?"he asked her.

"You guys are butt-faces!"she yelled and a gnome covered her mouth. While that was happening Liam went to cut the wolves' ropes as all the gnomes were gathered around Mabel.

"Give her back right now, or else!"she held up the shovel they brought.

"You think you can stop us, girl? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-"she casually tossed him away with the shovel and ran to cut her twin's ropes with it.

"Yah!"once free Mabel kicked the gnomes away.

"Let's go!"yelled Liam as they got in the cart.

"They're getting away with our queen! No, no, no!"yelled Jeff.

"Seatbelt!"they buckled and drove off with the wolves running behind them.

"You've messed with the wrong creatures, girl! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE!"Jeff shouted as various gnomes came out of their hiding spots and stacked up.

* * *

"Hurry, before they come after us!"said Mabel.

"I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!"said Dipper and stopped the cart as she heard a stomping sound; they looked back and saw a giant gnome made of little ones coming their way.

"Bloody hell."swore Liam.

"All right, teamwork, guys. Like we practiced."said Jeff who was on the top, using the hats as levers the gnomes growled.

"Move, MOVE!"shouted Mabel and her sister drove the cart away just as the gnomes smashed their arm down and it broke. The gnomes ran frantically ran back into position and chased them again.

"Come back with our queen!"shouted Jeff.

"It's getting closer!"shouted Liam. The giant gnome threw several gnomes at the cart that chewed on it and wrecked havoc. Mabel elbow punched a gnome off. Shmebulock jumped up behind Dipper, who grabbed him and slammed him into the steering wheel out of annoyance, Liam kicked some of the gnomes off and the wolves ran towards the giant gnome to bite it. A gnome jumped on the cart and started to claw Dipper's face.

"I'll save you, Dipper!"said Mabel and repeatedly punched the gnome off of her sister's face and the gnome fell off with Dipper's hat.

"Thanks, Mabel..."her twin said, dazed from the punches.

"Don't mention it."she said. The giant gnome picked up a tree and threw it towards them.

"Look out!"yelled Mabel. Dipper swiftly turned, making the cart spin before overturning and landing next to the shack. They crawled out of the wreckage as the gnome approached.

"Stay back, man!"said Liam, adding a little of his power in the shovel and throwing it at the gnome. When the gnome punched it in mid-air it erupted in flames and burned some of the gnomes.

"Aaahhh!"screeched the gnomes as the arm the arm fell apart. They all heard twin howls and the two wolves jumped at the gnome from the back, biting and clawing. The gnomes turned their attention to the wolves and with the only hand left they caught them and squeezed hard making them yelp.

"There's gotta be a way out of this!"said Dipper.

"I gotta do it."said Mabel, taking a step forward.

"What?! Mabel, don't do this! Are you crazy?"said Liam.

"Trust me."she said and turned to the gnomes. "All right, Jeff. I'll marry you."

"Hot dog! Help me down there, Jason!"said Jeff and started climbing down. "Thanks, Andy! Alright, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike."when his feet touched the ground he approached Mabel and pulled out a diamond ring. "Eh? Eh?"he put the ring on her outstretched hand. "Bada-bing, bada-bam! Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!"

"You may now kiss the bride!"she said, stopping him in his tracks.

"Well, don't mind if I do."he leaned up to kiss her and so did she but took out the leaf blower. "Ah! Hey, hey, wait a minute! Whoa, whoa! Wh-what's goin' on?!"he tried to back away and got sucked half-way in.

"That's for lying to me!"she increased the sucking power. "THAT'S for breaking my heart!"

"Ow! My face!"he shouted as he was slowly being sucked further.

"And THIS is for messing with my sister!"she aimed at the giant gnome and asked her sister. "Wanna do the honors?"

"On three!"

"One, two, three!"they blast Jeff towards the gnome monster and watched as it exploded into separate gnomes.

"I'll get you back for this!..."yelled Jeff as he flew off into the distance.

"Who's giving orders? I need orders!"asked a gnome.

"My arms are tired."complained another one.

"Anyone else want some?"asked Liam as Mabel moved the leaf blower back and forth, blowing gnomes away. Dipper saw how the wolves limped to the forest and grew worried for their well-being.

"Don't worry."whispered Liam. "I'll check up on them and treat them if they have any injuries."

After making sure that all the gnomes were gone the twins headed towards the shack and Liam towards the woods. "Hey, Dipper? I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me."apologized Mabel.

"Oh, don't be like that. You saved our butts back there."tried to cheer her up Dipper.

"I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes."

"Look on the bright side. Maybe the next one _will_ be a vampire!"

"Oh, you're just saying that!"she playfully punched her.

"Awkward sibling hug?"Dipper asked with open arms.

"Awkward sibling hug."they hugged and patted each other. "Pat, pat."they broke the hug and walked into the gift shop where their grunkle was counting the profit money.

"Yeesh. You two get hit by a bus or something? Ahah!"he laughed as they walked away, before they reached the stairs Stan stopped them. "Uh, hey! W-wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh... how about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?"

"Really?"asked Mabel.

"What's the catch?"folded her arms Dipper.

"The catch is do it before I change my mind, now take something."he said and they both looked around. Dipper picked up a blue pine tree hat from one of the shelves and looked in a mirror.

"Hmm. That oughta do the trick!"

"And I will have a..."Mabel grabbed an item from a box, hiding it, she twirled around. "GRAPPLING HOOK! Yes!"she pointed it in the air.

"Wouldn't she rather have, like, a doll, or something?"Stan asked Dipper. Mabel fired the grappling hook up at the ceiling; it caught and pulled her up.

"GRAPPLING HOOK!"

"Fair enough!"he said.

* * *

The girls were in their room. Dipper was reading a mystery book while Mabel was jumping on the bed. Hearing the grappling hook get fired she looked at her sister reeling it back with a stuffed animal attached and smiled.

"Hey, Mabel, could you get the light?"she asked, dog-earing the page.

"I'm on it!"she said, firing the grappling hook and knocking the lamp out the window. "It works!"they both laugh before falling asleep.

_**Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked.** _

In the Mystery Shack exterior Stan walked in holding a lantern. He went into the gift shop and put a code into the vending machine. The machine opened and Stan walked inside, looking from side-to-side before closing it behind him.


	2. The Legend of the Gobblewonker

It was morning in the Mystery Shack. Dipper was wearing a red tank top, blue shorts, brown sneakers and her new pine tree hat. Mabel was wearing a purple sweater with a red heart wearing sunglasses on it, a blue skirt and black sneakers. They were eating breakfast when they decided to have a syrup race. Mabel was racing with 'Sir Syrup' and Dipper was racing with 'Mountie Man'.

"Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?"asked Mabel, shaking the syrup bottle as if it was talking.

"I'm always ready!"answered Dipper, doing the same with her bottle.

"Then you know what this means."said Mabel.

"Syrup Race!"they both yell, tilting their bottles back and dripping syrup into their mouths.

"Go, Sir Syrup!"yelled Mabel.

"Go, Mountie Man!"yelled Dipper.

"Go! Go!"they yelled.

"Almost...almost."said Mabel and tapped on the bottom of her bottle so that the syrup drips on her tongue. "I won!"she yelled and started coughing. Dipper picked up a magazine called 'Wacky News' and started to read it.

"No way. Hey Mabel, check this out!"she said pointing at a page in the magazine. Mabel came to look at it but an ad on the opposite page catches her eye.

"Human-sized hamster balls?"she asked and then gasped. "I'm human-sized!"

"No, no, Mabel. This."she said pointing at a monster contest ad. "We see weirder stuff than that every day. Hey, do we have any photos of those gnomes?"she asked looking at her twin.

"Nope, just memories. And this beard hair."she says, holding up said beard hair.

"Why do you have that?"asked Dipper, looking grossed out and Mabel just shrugged. At that moment came into the kitchen Stan wearing a white tank top, green boxers, dark green slippers and this signature red fez.

"Good morning, knuckleheads. You know what day it is?"he asked them.

"Um..Happy anniversary?"said Dipper unsure.

"Mazel tov!"yelled Mabel, throwing her hands in the air.

"It's Family Fun Day."he says, walking over to the fridge. "We're going to have one of those bonding-type days."he sniffed the milk and put it back into to fridge.

"Grunkle Stan, is this going to be like our last family bonding day?"asked Dipper skeptically.

***FLASHBACK***

Dipper and Mabel were in the basement making counterfeit money.

"You call that Ben Franklin? He looks like a woman!"yelled Stan at Dipper. Suddenly they hear police sirens. "Uh-oh"

***END OF FLASHBACK***

"The county jail was so cold."said Mabel, shuddering at the memory.

"OK, so maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I promise that today we're going to have some real family bonding. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"asks Stan enthusiastically.

"YAY!"yelled the twins, throwing their hands in the air.

"Wait, what?"asked Dipper just processing what Stan said.

* * *

Stan was driving his car with Mabel and Dipper in the backseat, blindfolded. He leaned down to adjust the radio and the tires screech making the girls in the back jump.

"Blindfolds never lead to anything good."said Dipper.

"Wow! I feel like all my other senses are heightened. I can see with my fingers!"said Mabel and started touching her sister's face making her giggle. The car jumped making the twins hit the doors.

"Grunkle Stan are you also wearing a blindfold?"asked Dipper and her grunkle laughed.

"Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be. What is that, a woodpecker?"he asked, driving through a wooden guardrail making the girls scream. They soon arrived at a lake and the girls were still blindfolded. "You can take the blindfolds off now."said Stan and they took them off ."Ta-da! It's fishing season!"said Stan, behind him was a sign saying 'Fishing Season Opening Today'.

"Fishing?"asked Mabel.

"What are you playing at, old man?"asked Dipper pointing at him.

"You're gonna love it! The whole town's out here!"said Stan turning to the lake and he wasn't lying, the whole town really was there. There was Lazy Susan, she was waving a pan telling the fishes to get in there, Toby Determined, he was taking a photo of a man who caught a large fish but because of the camera's flash the man fell, and Manly Dan with his sons, teaching them how to catch fish.

"That's some family bonding."said Stan to the girls.

"Grunkle Stan why do you wanna bond with us all of a sudden?"asked Dipper.

"Come on, this is gonna be great! I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me. They don't 'like' or 'trust' me."he said using air quotes.

"I think he actually wants to fish with us."whispered Mabel to Dipper.

"Hey I know what will cheer you girls up."he said and slapped fishing hats with their names on their heads. "Pines family fishing hats! Those are hand stitched, you know."the girls took them off to examine. Dipper's read 'Dippy' in blue and green, Mabel's had her name but the 'E' was turned over and the letters were in purple and red.

"MABEL!"someone yelled. They all turned to the voice and saw a blond, blue eyed teenage girl jogging to them. She was wearing a pink t-shirt, a red unbuttoned plaid shirt, short shorts and brown fishing boots.

"Lilly!"yelled Mabel happily and they gave each other a hug.

“Uh, Mabel, who is this?"asked Dipper.

"Oh, yeah. Grunkle Stan, Dipper this is Lilly. Lilly, these are my grunkle and sister."said Mabel.

"Nice to meet you."said Lilly happily with a bright grin.

"What are you doing here?"asked Mabel.

"Well,I'm here with-"she was cut of by the yelling of someone. That someone was an old man with long white beard and was wearing old brown hat and brown overalls. He was running from the dock and was crashing into and overturning various things. He was yelling about seeing something again and then he started dancing.

"Who is that?"asked Dipper.

"That's Old Man McGucket, he's the local kook."answered the blonde A man went to the old man and started spraying him with a spray bottle.

"Hey, hey! What did I say about scaring my customers? This is your last warning dad!"he exclaimed.

"But I have proof this time, by gummity!"he said and led everyone to the dock where he showed them a destroyed boat. Sheriff Blubs, deputy Durland and and a new policewoman were in a police watercraft next to it. Blubs and Durland were wearing the standard police uniform, which was a light green shirt, dark green pants and black boots. The policewoman had her long brown hair tied in ponytail and was wearing the female version of it, consisting of a green short sleeved shirt, brown shorts and black boots. "Behold! That is the work of the Gobble-dy-wonker! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe and had wrinkly skin like...this gentleman right here!"he said pointing to Stan who was picking his ear. "It chawed my boat up to smitheroons and shim-shammed to Scuttlebutt Island! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!"he shouted.

"Attention all units! We have ourselves a crazy old man!"said sheriff Blubs to his walkie-talkie. Everyone laughed except the Pines, Lilia, Tate and the new policewoman.

"Aww, donkey spittle! Aww, banjo polish!"said McGucket as he walked away.

"Well that happened. Now let's untie this boat and go out on that lake!"said Stan getting inside a rowboat.

"Did you girls heard that?"asked Dipper turning to the other two girls.

"Aww, donkey spittle!"said Mabel trying to mimic McGucket.

"I don't think she meant that."said the cop to Mabel.

"Uh, who are you?"asked Dipper.

"Oh, Dipper this is my other friend Christina."introduced Mabel.

"Nice to meet you."said Christina and extended her hand for a handshake.

"Nice to meet you too."she shook her hand.

"What did you mean before about what Old Man McGucket said?"asked Christina.

"About the monster. If we can snap a photo of it we can split the prize fifty-fifty!"Dipper said enthusiastically.

"Wait? What prize? We're kinda lost here."said Lilly pointing to herself and Christina.

"Dipper found this ad about a monster photo contest with a huge prize."said happily Mabel.

"Oh, yeah. I've seen that add."said Christina.

"You wanna help us?"asked Dipper.

"Sorry, I have work."said Christina.

"I can help you."said Lilly.

"Shouldn't you be with your family?"asked Christina, crossing her arms in disapproval.

"Yeah, but Peter is there and you know how much I hate him."said Lilly.

"Can't argue with that. But what are you girls going to do with all that money?"asked Christina.

"I'm going to buy myself a human-sized hamster ball!"said Mabel proudly, already imagining it.

***MABEL'S IMAGINATION***

Mabel was inside a human-sized hamster ball in the gift shop of the Mystery Shack. On the counter was a hamster inside a smaller ball.

"Not so high and mighty anymore!"she said to the hamster who just 'aww'ed. Rolling back and forth while laughing, Mabel crashed through the wall and rolled onto the street. There she meets Xyler and Craz, who were waiting for the light to turn green. "Hey boys!"they looked at her. "You can look but you can't touch."she said. When the light turned green she scurried down the street in her ball.

"Awesome!"said Xyler and Craz in union looking at her.

***BACK TO REALITY***

"Ok. But aren't you going to spend time with your grunkle? He looks pretty happy about this fishing thing."said Christina.

"Nah, he won't mind."said Dipper going to Stan. "Grunkle Stan! Change of plans. We're taking this boat to Scuttlebutt Island and we're going to find that monster!"she said excitedly.

"Monster hunt! Monster hunt!"started chanting Dipper, Mabel and Lilly. There was a large honking sound and Soos pulled up his boat.

"Hey dudes! What's this about a monster hunt?"he asked.

"Soos!"yelled Mabel.

"Wassup, hambone!"said Soos. He and Mabel fist bumped and made explosion noises. "Dude, you can totally use my boat for the hunt. It has a steering wheel, chairs. Normal boat stuff."

"All right, all right, let's think this through. You girls can go on some epic monster finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your great uncle Stan!"said Stan. The girls look at Soos in his boat where he's doing a robot dance then they look at Stan in his leaky old boat and he sniffs his armpit. They look at the island in the distance and grin at each other.

"So whaddaya say?"he asks and the response he got was the noise of Soos's boat driving off leaving him behind. "Ingrates! Aw, who needs 'em. I've got a full box of creepy fishing lures to keep me company."after a moment of looking at the lures with flies buzzing around them he cringes and closes the box. Christina just shakes her head and walks away.

* * *

***WITH THE GIRLS AND SOOS***

They were heading for the island. Dipper was standing on the stern of the boat with her foot on the guardrail, adjusting the visor of her cap. "Hoist the anchor!"she yelled and Soos pulled up a cinder block anchor. "Raise the flag!"she yelled again and Mabel held up a beach towel.

"We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!"yelled Mabel.

"And we're gonna win that photo contest!"yelled Dipper.

"Do any of you girls have sunscreen?"asked Soos.

"I do."said Lilly holding up a bottle of sunscreen. Ten minutes later Dipper was pacing in front of Mabel, Lilly and Soos.

"Alright, if we wanna win this contest we have to do it right! Think. What's the biggest problem with most monster hunts?"she asked.

"Being a side character who dies in the first five minutes. Dude, am I side character? Did you think about that?"asked Soos panicking.

"No, no. Camera troubles. Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, act like Bigfoot."said Dipper and Soos strikes a Bigfoot pose. "There he is! Bigfoot!"she says in a mock acting voice and starts patting her vest. "Oh no, no camera."she pulls a camera out of her vest. "Wait, here's one! Aw, no film!"she says and goes back to her normal voice. "You see? You see what I'm doing here?"she asks them.

"She's got a point."said Lilly.

"That's why I bought twenty-one disposable cameras!"she said and started listing off their locations. "Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag and one under my hat! There's no way we're going to miss this! Ok, let's test our cameras now."she said. Soos took a picture of himself but the flash startled him and he threw the camera. "See, that's why we need backup cameras. We still have twenty more!"said Dipper.

"Ah, bird!"yelled Mabel throwing a camera at it.

"Ok, I repeat; don't lose your cameras."she said, already starting to get stressed out.

"Wait? Lose the cameras?"asked Soos.

"DON'T!"yelled Dipper.

"Dude, I just threw two away."he said pointing at the cameras in the water.

"Seventeen! Alright we have seventeen camera-"she accidentally crushed one with her fist. "Sixteen. We have sixteen cameras."

"So what's the plan? Throw more cameras overboard or what?"asked Mabel ready to throw cameras.

"That's not the plan Mabel. We're gonna us these cameras to take photos of the monster."said the teen.

"Thank you Lilly, at least someone knows the plan."said Dipper relaxing. "Ok. Mabel will can be on lookout, Soos will work the steering wheel, Lily will be the first mate and I'll be captain."

"What why do you get to be captain? What about Mabel, huh? Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel!"she started chanting.

"It's best if Dipper is captain Mabel. She is the most responsible of us."said Lilly.

"Aww, fine."said Mabel pouting a little.

"Ok guys. Our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this."said Dipper gesturing to a barrel with fish good.

"Permission to taste it?"asked Soos.

"...Granted."said Dipper. Hearing that Soos licked some, gagged and wiped his tongue, coughing.

"Dude, I don't know what I was expecting that to taste like!"said Soos while the girls were laughing.

* * *

***WITH STAN***

Stan was holding a fishing rod and watching over his shoulder at Soos and the girls laughing. "Traitors! I'll find myself new fishing buddies!"he says looking around and spots a couple up ahead. "Ah! There's my new fishing buddies!"he said, starting his engine.

The man was turned away from the woman and was looking at a diamond ring inside a velvet box. Taking a breath he turned to her. "Now that we're alone Rosanna, there's a burning question which my heart longs to ask you."he said.

"Oh, Reginald!"said Rosanna tearing up.

"Hey!"said Stan pulling his boat to theirs. "Wanna hear a joke?"he asked. After neither of them say anything Stan tells the joke. "Here goes. My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is gettin' better!"he paused. "Her aim is gettin' better!"another pause. "Y'see, it's because marriage is terrible."he explained and the couple rowed away. "What?"he yelled.

* * *

***WITH SOOS AND THE GIRLS***

They were approaching Scuttlebutt Island and there was fog everywhere. Soos and Lilly were at the back of the boat shoveling fish food over the side, while Dipper and Mabel were at the front. Dipper was trying to see through the fog while Mabel was playing ventriloquist with a pelican.

"Hey! How's it going?"she asks then changes her voice and moves the pelican's beak. "It's going awesome! Bow bow, buh bow bow!"

"Mabel, leave that thing alone."said Dipper, putting her hands on her hips.

"Aw, I don't mind."she said in the pelican voice. "Hey look, I'm drinking water."she said and started drinking water while moving the pelican's mouth. "Twinkle, twinkle little-"she tried to sing but choked and started coughing as the pelican flew away.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing lookout?"Dipper asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Look out!"Mabel yelled throwing a volleyball at her twin who fortunately dodges. "Heh, heh. But seriously, I'm on it."she said and the boat crashed on the shore. "See I'm a lookout genius! Hamster ball, here we come!"the foursome disembark and venture into the foggy forest with Dipper in the lead and carrying a lantern. They soon come across a sign nailed to a tree that says 'Scuttlebutt Island'. Mabel and Soos stop in front of it.

"Dude, check it out. Butt Island."he said, covering the Scuttle part and they both laugh.

"Soos, you rapscallion."she said and turned to Dipper and Lilly. "Hey! Why aren't you laughing? Are you scared?"she teased.

"It just isn't funny to us."said Lilly and Dipper nodded in agreement. There was a growling sound in the distance and they all looked around. "Did you guys hear that?"asked Lilly sounding scared.

"Was that your stomach?"Mabel asked Soos.

"Nah. My stomach makes whale sounds."he said. Mabel put her head on his stomach and heard the whale sounds. "So majestic."she whispered. An opossum jumped out of some bushes and took the lantern from Dipper, running away.

"Our lantern! Aww, I can't see anything."said Dipper.

"I don't know girls. Maybe this isn't worth it."said Soos sounding distress.

"Not worth it! Guys, imagine what we could do with that prize!"she said.

***DIPPER'S IMAGINATION***

Dipper was being interviewed on an talk show by Charlie, who had grey hair, a dark grey mustache and was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and a blue tie. The stage was big with a purple background, a big TV screen, wooden floor, two velvet armchairs opposite another one that were slightly turned to the audience and a glass coffee table between them. She was dressed like a female version of Indiana Johns and Liam was dressed similarly. She was sitting on one of the chairs with Henry sitting on her right, Liam on her left and Rex on his left.

"Tonight we're here with adventure seekers Dipper Pines, Liam Murik and their two loyal wolves, who photographed the Gobblewonker. Tell us Dipper, what is the secret to your success?"asked Charlie leaning in.

"Well, I run away from nothing."she sipped from her coffee and an embarrassing photo of Stan scratching his butt appeared on the TV screen. "Nothing except the time I ditched my grunkle in order to pursue that lake monster."she said.

"How right were you to do so. He looked like a real piece of work. I don't often do this but I feel the need to give you a reward!"he gave her a medal and they all smiled as paparazzi took photos.

***BACK TO REALITY***

"I'm in!"said Dipper smiling.

"Me too!"said Mabel.

"Me three!"said Lilly and they run off leaving Soos behind.

"Alright girls, I'm coming."he yelled and chased after them. They had been walking for walking for a while now, Dipper and Lilly had their cameras ready and were focused while Soos and Mabel were beat boxing.

" _My name is Mabel_  
_It rimes with table!_  
_It also rimes with...glabel!_  
_It also rimes with...shmabel!_ "she sang.

"Dude,we should be writing this down."said Soos.

"Did you guys hear that?"asked the blonde and the growling noise from earlier was heard as a flock of birds flew overhead, away from the sound.

"This is it! This is it!"said Dipper as she and her twin started punching each other excitedly and headed towards the sound. Soos and Lilly grabbed sticks and followed the twins. As they walk through the fog Lilly stopped the group as she spotted a lake monster silhouette. They all ducked behind a nearby log and Dipper turned to them.

"Everyone, get your cameras ready."she said and they all turned on their cameras.

"Ready? GO!"she said and Soos, yelling, jumped over the log, holding the camera in front of his face and ran towards the silhouette, snapping photos at random. The girls followed him but as they got closer the silhouette turned out to be just a boat wreck with beavers living on it. The beavers didn't seem to notice them and continued with what they were doing.

"But...but, what was that noise then? I heard a monster noise!"said Dipper disappointed. The monster noise was heard again and on their left they saw a beaver chewing on an old rusty chainsaw and starting it on a log.

"How cute! A beaver with a chainsaw."said Lilly taking a picture of it.

"Maybe that old guy was crazy after all."said Dipper.

"He did use the word 'scrapdoodle'."agreed Mabel, also disappointed and her sister just sighed.

* * *

***WITH STAN***

"Look, when you're threadin' the line-a lot of people don't know this-but you wanna use a barrel knot."he explained. "That's a secret from one fishing buddy to another! Heh heh."he whispered, nudging a chubby kid with his elbow.

"Uh, I, uh, who are you, exactly?"the boy asked clearly uncomfortable.

"Just call me your GRUNKLE STAN!"he said.

"Sir, sir, sir! Why are you talking to our son? If you don't leave now I'm calling the police!"said kid's angry mother, with the equally mad father behind her.

"Ha, ha, you see, the thing about that is..."he quickly started his motor and sped away.

"Go bother your own kids!"yelled the mother.

* * *

***SCUTTLEBUTT ISLAND***

"Ooh, yeah! Work it! Work it! Nice! Nice! Gimme another one of those! Yeah, I like that one."said Soos as he and Lilly took photos of a beaver posing on a stump.

"What are we going to say to grunkle Stan? We ditched him for nothing."asked Dipper. The rock on which she was sitting on shook. "Hey...guys. Do you feel that?"she asked and the rock suddenly sank. Dipper quickly swam to shore where Lilly helped her get out of the water. They all saw the Gobblewonker's silhouette swim away.

"This is it! This is our chance!"said Dipper as she took photos of it. "Come on!"she turned to the others but they backed away. "What's wrong with you guys?"she asked, cocking her head to the side. The monster's silhouette swam back towards the island and began to rise behind her.

"Dipper..."said Lilly.

"Dude..."said Soos. Fear was evident on their faces but Dipper just raised an eyebrow.

"It's not that hard, all right? All you gotta do is point and shoot. Like this!"she turned around and aimed the camera at the Gobblewonker only to realise it was right in front of her. It roared causing her to drop the camera and the four to ran away. It pushed a tree which almost hit the twins but Dipper lunged at Mabel and they rolled out of the way. They continue to run and dodge falling trees and eventually catch up with Soos and Lilly.

"Get back to the boat! HURRY!"yelled Soos. The monsters snapped it's jaws at Mabel and she jumped onto Soos's back. Dipper aimed her camera at it but tripped over a root and dropped it.

"The picture!"she said and turned to run to the camera but Lilly grabbed her.

"It's not worth it!"she yelled. The group ran towards the boat and Soos helped the girls get on before pushing the boat into the water. He climbed on himself just as the monster got closer.

"Let's get outta here!"said Lily as she drove the boat backwards.

"All right! This is it! Cracked lens?! Soos! Get a photo!"said Dipper holding a camera. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"she yelled seeing him throwing the cameras at the monster.

"Oh! I still got one left! Don't worry, dude!"he said throwing the camera to Dipper but missed, hitting the wall and breaking the device. The monster dived into the water and chased the gang. Lily quickly stirred the boat forward and drove away from it.

"Lilly, give me your cameras!"said Dipper.

"Sorry Dipper, I dropped them when it started chasing us."she said.

* * *

***WITH STAN***

"Er, ugh, gah! Mollycoddling..."he said, struggling to tie a knot.

"Can you pwease tell me mo'e funny stories, Pop Pop?"asked a little girl a few yards away in a boat with her brother and grandpa.

"Anything for my fishing buddies!"said the grandpa and patted both children on the head while Stan growled.

"Pop Pop? I just weewized dat...I wuv you."said the little boy.

"Aw, come on! Boo! Boo!"booed Stan clearly envious.

"Hey, now! What's the big idea?"asked the grandpa standing up.

"Maybe he has no one who wuvs him, Pop Pop."said the little boy.

"Yeah, well, I... I..."started Stan but the S.S.COOL DUDE drove past him with the monster hot on it's heels, soaking Stan in the process. He threw his hat to the ground in frustration, then sat down and sighed.

* * *

***S.S.COOL DUDE***

The they were back at Scuttlebutt island with the monster getting closer to them.

"LILLY! BEAVERS!"yelled Dipper. The boat crashed into the old, broken boat and beavers flew everywhere. The beavers landed on the boat, biting it and it's crew. Two beavers were biting Dipper's hat, Mabel was able to shake a beaver off of her arm and a beaver was on Soos' face. Dipper tried to dislodge a beaver from the side of the boat while Soos ran in circles crying out in pain from the beaver still on his face. Dipper threw beavers towards the Gobblewonker who dived and continued to chase them under the water. The S.S. Cool Dude sailed through the area with people fishing, who are overturned by the monster behind them. It swiped at the boat and managed to knock the control cabin off.

"Aah! Look out!"screamed Mabel pointing ahead where two men were transporting a glass sheet by boat.

"Easy...Easy..."said the man with the blond hair and mustache. The boat drove through it, breaking it.

"My glass!"yelled the other man.

"WHERE DO I GO?!"asked Lilly. In front of them was a waterfall and the twins looked around. Dipper turned her back to them, took out the journal and flipped through the pages.

"Um... uh... GO INTO THE FALLS! I think there might be a cave behind there!"she said and put it back.

"MIGHT BE?!"the blonde asked. They all screamed and covered their eyes as the boat went through the waterfall and into cave behind. Their boat crashed, sending them into the dirt. They all stood up and turned around to see the Gobblewonker swimming in after them but got stuck in the cave entrance.

"It's stuck!"said Mabel.

"Ha ha! Yeah! Wait...It's stuck?"asked Dipper and tried to find a camera but had none. Mabel lifted her sister's hat and revealed her last camera. Dipper laughed and took photos of the monster.

"Didja get a good one?"asked Mabel.

"THEY'RE ALL GOOD ONES!"she said and hugged her.

"Woo! Hamster ball!"she cheered. The Gobblewonker, still roaring, got hit by a rock. It's head fell down with an electric noise.

"What the...?"Dipper murmured and walked up to it. She touched it's side but pulled back as if it burned her.

"What's wrong?"asked Lilly. Dipper stepped on the Gobblewonker and knocked on it. It made a hollow metallic sound and she climbed up.

"Careful, dude!"

"I've got this! Hold on!"she said as she climbed over it, then popped up from the other side. "Hey, guys! Come check this out!"she yelled, waving at them. They discovered a trapdoor with a handle and turned it, causing steam to come out. As they opened the trapdoor more steam came out. They discovered old man McGucket inside controlling the machine.

"Work the bellows and the...Eh? Aww, banjo polish!"he looked at them over his shoulder.

"Wha- Yo- You?! You made this? W-w-why?"asked Dipper.

"Well, I...I, uh...I just wanted attention."he said, as if he was a child being scolded by his parents.

"I still don't understand."

"Well, first I just hootenannied up a biomechanical brain wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with ma beard!"he explained.

"Okay, yeah. But why did you do it?"asked Mabel.

"Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore. My own son hasn't visited me in months! So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robot!"he said and laughed like a maniac. "In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family."he said and the twins took out their fishing hats.

"Dude. I guess the real lake monster is you two. Heh, heh! Sorry, that just like-boom-just popped into my head there."he said and Lilly glared at him.

"So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?"asked Lilly.

"No, ma'am, I got to work straight on the robot."he said and a projector showed blueprints for the Gobblewonker on the trapdoor. "I made lots of robots in my day!"he said and pushed a button and the projector showed a newspaper with a robot pterodactyl breathing fire on a town and the word 'chaos'. "Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron,"he pushed button again and the projector showed a picture of a man. "or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party"pushed the button again and the projector shows another newspaper with a large robot terrorizing a town and the word 'disaster'. "and I constructed an eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA!"he laughed like a maniac again. "Well, time to get back to work on my death ray!"he said and ducked into the Gobblewonker and construction noises were heard from inside. He raised hand in a grabbing motion. "Any of you kids got a screwdriver?"he asked.

"Well, so much for the photo contest."said Dipper disappointedly .

"You still have one roll of film left."said Lilly.

"Whaddaya wanna do with it?"she asked her sister.

* * *

***WITH STAN***

Stan was driving towards the shore looking defeated and sighed.

"Hey! Over here!"said Dipper. Soos drove by on the beat-up S.S. Cool Dude and both boats stopped. Dipper then took a photo of him.

"What the-Kids? I thought you two were off playing 'Spin the Bottle' with Soos and that blond chick! Where is she by the way?"he asked.

"We left her off with her family."said Soos.

"And while we spent all day trying to find a 'legendary' dinosaur."started Dipper.

"We realized, the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here."finished Mabel.

"Save your sympathy! I've been having a great time withoutcha'! Makin' friends, talkin' to my reflection-I had a run-in with the lake police and I met that other girl, Christina. Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun."he said showing it to them.

"So...I guess there isn't room in that boat for three more?"asked Dipper and Stan glared at them. They put on their fishing hats and his expression softened.

"You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?"he asked.

"Five bucks says you can't do it!"betted Dipper.

"You're on!"he accepted and she climbed on Stan o' War.

"Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, plus me singing at the top of my lungs!"said Mabel.

"I like those odds!"he said as Mabel and Soos climbed on. "Whoa! What happened to your shirt?"he asked, seeing Soos shirtless.

"Long story, dude."he said.

"All right, everybody get together. Say fishing!"said Dipper.

"Fishing."they said. Mabel was in the middle, Stan was leaning down on her left and Soos was on her right but only his belly was in the frame.

"Dude, am I in the frame?"he asked and Dipper took the picture. They took many pictures, such as: A picture of Mabel covering Stan's eyes while he peeked and tried to thread a hook; Stan reading jokes while Mabel and Soos laughed; Dipper holding her first fish; Stan posing with his hand in his vest; Stan and Mabel stealing fish from the little girl from before and her grandfather; Dipper, Mabel and Stan driving away from the lake police with Christina smiling and waving.

At the end of the day when they were driving to the shore the boat seemed to hit something.

"Whoa!"said Mabel.

"What was that?"asked Dipper and her sister only shrugged. Little did they know that underwater a disposable camera sank and the real Gobblewonker swam by and ate it.


	3. Headhunters

Dipper and Mabel were in the living room watching a show on TV called Duck-tective. The show featured a constable and a detective, who was a duck, standing next to a telephone booth that had limbs of an unseen victim sticking out. While watching the television program Mabel was knitting a new sweater and Dipper was eating popcorn from a bowl. Mabel reached for some popcorn but her twin slapped her hand.

"I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence and this is obviously an accident."said the constable gesturing the telephone booth.

"An accident, constable? Or is it...Murder?!"read the subtitles as the duck quacked.

"What?!"asked the constable shocked.

 _"Duck-tective will return after these messages."_ said the TV announcer and Mabel gasped.

"That duck is a genius!"she said. She was wearing a turquoise sweater with a strawberry design, a pink skirt, a turquoise headband and black sneakers.

"Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground."said Dipper not very impressed. She was wearing black shorts, a white shirt with the words 'I may be wrong but I dough it' in black, black sneakers with white soles and her pine tree hat.

"Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?"challenged her sister, squinting at her doubtfully.

"Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating.."she sniffed her breath and raised both eyebrows."...an entire tube of toothpaste?!"

"It was so sparkly..."said Mabel and Soos ran in.

"Hey, girls, you'll never guess what I found!"he said excitedly.

"Buried treasure!"said Dipper.

"Buried-Hey, I was going to say that!"said Mabel, punching her twin playfully. They both followed Soos down an old hallway filled with spider webs and covered in dust.

"So, I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy!"he explained and opened the door. The room was dark and filled with several wax sculptures.

"Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!"said Dipper amazed and shining her flashlight around.

"They're so life-like."said Mabel touching a wax Sherlock Holmes.

"Except this one."said Dipper pointing at Stan.

"Hello."he said and everyone screamed in surprise. "It's me, your grunkle Stan."he said chuckling and they ran away, screaming in fright. After calming down they returned to the room and Stan started explaining. "Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! It was one of our most popular attractions...before I forgot all about it. I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes,"he looked at a wax Larry King. "some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?"

"Is anyone else getting the creeps here?"asked Dipper shuddering.

"And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over-"he looked at the melted glob of wax on the floor, which was under sunlight from the window above it. "Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!"he said and bent down touching the wax. "How do you fix a wax figure?"he asked no one in particular.

"Cheer up, Grunkle Stan. Where's that smile?"asked Mabel and was answered with an 'egh'. "Beep, bop, boop!"she said cheerfully poking his face.

"Ow."he said after she poked him in the eye.

"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!"she said.

"You really think you can make one of these puppies?"he asked her doubtfully.

"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?"she said, lifting her right arm where a glue gun was stuck and proceeded to shake her arm.

"I like your gumption, kid!"he said after thinking for a bit.

"I don't know what that word means, but thank you!"she smiled.

* * *

It was the afternoon and Mabel was in an empty room in the shack. She was drawing in her sketch book, wearing an apron over her sweater and a beret, in front of her there was a big wax cube ready to be sculptured. Dipper was drinking soda and walking towards her twin to see what she was doing.

"Dipper!"Mabel yelled, startling her and making her choke on soda. "What do you think of my wax figure idea? She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!"she explained showing her her sketch. The sketch was of a blond woman wearing a pink dress and pink high heels, holding in her left hand a magic wand. She had a brown horse head sticking out of her stomach and the horse body started where her butt was supposed to be.

"M..maybe you should carve something from real life."Dipper suggested.

"Like a waffle, with big arms!"Mabel said and showed her a sketch of an angry waffle with big muscular arms.

"Y-okay...Or, you know, something else. Like-like someone in your family."she suggested again. Then Stan came in wearing only the top half of his suit, red fez, green striped boxers and green sleepers.

"Kids, have you seen my pants?"he asked, posing on a briefcase and Mabel turned around, her eyes wide.

"Oh, muse. You work in mysterious ways."she said looking up.

"Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?"he asked Dipper. For the next few hours Mabel worked nonstop; sculpting, painting and adding touches here and there. The next morning Soos and Dipper came to see her work.

"I think...it needs more glitter."the brunette said after a while.

"Agreed."said Soos, handing her a bucket of glitter and she tossed the entire bucket onto the sculpture.

"I found my pants but now I'm missing my-"said Stan walking into the room in his suit and fez but missing his shoes. When he notices the sculpture he fell back.

"What do you think?"she asked.

"I think...the Wax Museum's back in business!"he grinned.

* * *

 At noon Soos was leading people to see the grand opening of the Wax Museum while Dipper was working in the stand with Wendle.

"I can't believe this many people showed up."she said surprised.

"I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something."he said.

"He bribed me."she held up a dollar and he did the same.

"Hey Dipper!"Lilly called and Dipper turned her way. She was wearing a baby blue strapless dress, blue heels and a blue headband. "It's good to see you again."

"I was about to say the same thing."Dipper said, smiling. "Where is Christina? Isn't she coming?"she asked looking around.

"Unfortunately no. She has some work to do and my boyfriend also can't come because something came up."frowned the blonde.

"Well you better go find yourself a seat because they're starting soon."said Dipper and she nodded, paying the fee she went to find a seat. Just like Dipper had said Stan soon went to the podium and cleared his throat before he started talking.

"You all know me, folks! Town darling, 'Mr. Mystery'. Please, ladies, control yourselves!"he said which was completely unnecessary as the women just blankly stared. "As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me!"he uncovered wax Stan and Soos made a fanfare sound on his keyboard, then made a 'Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!' sound as three people from the audience clapped politely. "And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!"he said giving his great-niece the microphone.

"It's Mabel. Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!"she said happily and the audience made disgusted sounds. "Yeah. I will now take questions! You there!"she pointed at McGucket.

"Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?"he asked completely serious.

"Um...Yes! Next question!"she pointed at Toby Determined.

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?"he asked, holding up a turkey baster as if it was a microphone.

"Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby. Next question."said Stan and pointed to Shandra Jimenez.

"Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?"she asked, holding up a flyer that said free pizza. The audience agreed and Stan began to sweat.

"That was a typo. Good night, everyone!"he used a smoke bomb to escape, taking the admission fee with him. The audience began to leave, some were sad because there was no pizza while others were angry, like Manly Dan who punched and broke a pole.

"Well...that went well."said Lilly sarcastically to Mabel.

"I know."she said making Lilly think that she didn't catch her sarcasm. Lilly's phone rang and she answered it. After listening to the person on the other line talk she answered with an okay and hung up with a groan. "Who was that?"asked Mabel.

"That was my mum, she wants me to go and bail my brother out of jail _again_."she said.

"WOAH! YOUR BROTHER'S IN JAIL!?"Mabel yelled, gaining the attention of her twin and Wendle.

"Who's in jail?"asked Wendle.

"My brother."

"I didn't know you had a brother."said Dipper.

"Yeah, we aren't on good terms so I don't talk about him much."she said with a shrug. "Plus goes to Freewolf Institute and I don't see him much. Anyway I gotta go or else he won't stop complaining on the way back."she waved them goodbye and left.

"Well, I also gotta leave. Bye guys."said Wendle as he also left.

* * *

In the evening Stan, Dipper, Mabel and wax Stan were in the living room. Stan was counting the money he got while Mabel was cleaning Wax Stan, who was leaning on the armchair and Dipper was sitting on the dinosaur skull reading a book.

"Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person, this guy!"he pointed to Wax Stan. Mabel jokingly punched his stomach making it jiggle and he noogied her. "Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin. Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go!"he said as the girls went up the stairs. "Kids."he sighed.

* * *

"Well, duck-tective, it seems you've really quacked the case."said constable to the detective.

"Don't patronize me."said the duck and Stan laughed.

"Stupid duck! Well, I'm gonna use the john. You need anything?"he asked the figure and laughed when he didn't answer. "I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere."he said and left the room. The girls were in the bathroom brushing their teeth. Dipper was standing in front of the mirror in white shorts and white tank top with the Eiffel Tower on it, while Mabel was sitting on the rim of the bathtub in a purple oversized shirt with a floppy disk.

"Dipper, you wanna do a toothbrush race?"suggested Mabel.

"Sure."

"No... No... Noooooo!"screamed their grunkle. They looked at each other and ran downstairs. When they got there Stan was shaking. "Wax Stan! He's been... m-murdered!"he said pointing the wax figure, which was laying on the floor headless. The clock bonged three times and Mabel fainted and Dipper caught her.

* * *

Sheriff Blubs, Deputy Durland and Christina were in the living room where Stan was explaining the situation. The sheriff was sipping from his coffee and listening to the explanation while Durland was writing it down and Christina was rubbing circles on Mabel's back.

"I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!"he said.

"My expert handcrafting... besmirched. Besmiiiirrrched!"said Mabel and started to cry.

"Who would do something like this?"asked Dipper.

"What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?"asked Christina.

"Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts...this case is unsolvable."he said.

"WHAT?!"yelled the three Pines.

"You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!"yelled Stan.

"You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want."suggested Dipper.

"She's really good. She figured out who was eating our tin cans!"said Mabel.

"All signs pointed to the goat."

"Yeah, yeah! Let the girl help. She's got a little brain up in her head."said Stan.

"Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City girl thinks she's gonna solve a mystery with her fancy computer phone!"said the sheriff and chuckled.

"City giiiiiirl! City giiiiiiiiirl!"yelled the deputy.

"You are adorable!"said the sheriff.

"Adorable?"she asked, frowning.

"Look, P.J.'s, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?"he asked.

 _"Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!"_ said a man over Blub's walkie talkie.

"It's a 23-16!"said Durland.

"Let's go!"said Bubs and they left.

"That's it! Mabel, you and me are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable."she said and sneezed.

"Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!"said her twin and Dipper glared at her.

* * *

The next morning the twins were in the living room, studying the crime scene. Mabel was wearing a turquoise sweater with a white flower on it, a white skirt, black sneakers and a light blue headband. Dipper was wearing a black t-shirt with the words 'Trust me I'm a detective' in white, blue shorts, black sneakers and her signature pine tree hat.

"Wax Stan has lost his head and it's up to us to find it."said Dipper as Mabel was taking pictures of the 'victim'. "There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling."she said as she looked at the bulletin board with pictures of suspects. "The murderer could have been anyone."

"Even us!"said Mabel.

"I doubt it but it might take us a while before finding a clue."she said.

"Hey, look! A clue."said Mabel pointing at footprints.

"Footprints in the shag carpet!"

"That's weird. They've got a hole in them."

"And they're leading to..."they followed the trail and found an axe behind the armchair. They both gasped and looked at each other. Taking the axe they went to the shop where they saw Soos and gave him the axe to examine it. "So,what do you think?"Dipper asked.

"In my opinion: this is an ax."he said handing it to them.

"Wait a minute. The lumberjack!"gasped Mabel.

"Of course!"they both remembered how Manly Dan punched and broke a pole the day before.

"He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza."said Dipper.

"Furious enough for murder!"continued Mabel, shaking her fist.

"Oh, you mean Manly Dan. Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown."Soos said with a smile.

"Then that's where we're going."said Mabel, narrowing her eyes.

"Dude, this is awesome. You two are like: The Mystery Twins!"he said.

"Don't call us that."said Dipper, frowning and putting the axe in her backpack. She and her sister walk outside where they saw their grunkle pulling a coffin out of his car.

"Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy."he said pulling it out.

"Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we have got a big break in the case!"said Dipper.

"Break in the case!"repeated Mabel.

"We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer."said Dipper.

"We have an axe!"said her twin pulling it out of her sister's bag and started making horror movie screeching sounds.

"Hm, it seem like the kind of thing that responsible parents wouldn't want you to do...Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEE!!"he yelled as the girls ran towards the town.

* * *

 The girls were sneaking behind the 'Skull Fracture'. Dipper checked a note with the address making sure they were in the right place. "This is the place."she said and they both look at the entrance where a large, muscular thug with dark skin and many tattoos stood. On his forehead there was a tattoo that said 'HEAD', on his chin there was a tattoo that said 'CHIN' and on the back of his neck there was one that said 'NECK'. He also had a tattoo on his shoulder that said 'Over The Shoulder', one that said 'No ♥ for U' and another of a swirling square. He wore a white singlet tucked into a pair of blue jeans with a black and gold belt where a chain came out of his jeans pocket and pair of black boots. They both gasped and hid when he looked at their direction. "Got the fake IDs?"she asked and her sister her gave one. Looking at the IDs she sighed. "Here goes nothing."she said and they both walked towards the entrance.

"Sorry, but we don't serve miners."said the bouncer to the miner.

"Daaaannnnng'nab it!"said the miner. He spat and walked away and the girls walked up to the bouncer.

"We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of wax Stan."said Mabel as they both showed their obviously fake ID cards.

"Works for me."he shrugged and opened the door for them. Inside men are fighting and Dipper motioned for her sister to follow her.

"He's resting."Mabel said when she saw a body lying on the floor.

"Alright, let's just try to blend in, ok?"Dipper told her.

"You got it, Dippingsauce."she said and climbed onto a chair and started talked to a biker. "Hey there, fellow restaurant patron! Bap!"she patted his arm and he growled. Manly Dan was playing a wrestling game when Dipper walked up to him.

"Manly Dan, just the guy I wanted to see. Where were you last night?"she asked.

"Punchin' the clock."he groaned.

"You were at work."

"No, I was punchin' that clock!"he pointed to the broken clock outside.

"10 o'clock, the time of the murder. So, I guess you've never seen this before?"she asked, pulling out and showing him the axe.

"Listen little girl! I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!"he ripped the machines arm off and proceeds to beat the machine with it.

"Get 'im! Get 'im!"giggled Tyler Cutebiker.

"Left handed... "she said to herself and went to Mabel, who was looking at a cootie catcher with the biker as she counted off.

"3, 4, 5, 6."Mabel gasped. "Your wife is gonna be beautiful.".

"Yes!"he said, pumping his arm.

"Mabel, big break in the case!"she told her and they both left.

"But will she love me?!"the biker called.

* * *

The sisters were walking down the street as Dipper explained what she found out and was writing something on her notepad.

"It's a left handed ax."she stated and showed her a suspect list. The names Manly Dan, Old Man McGucket, That Fat Guy, Angry Lady, Mikey R., Uncle Phil, Susie, Lilly and Toby Determined were written and across theme there were two column. Over the first was written 'left' and over the second 'right'. "These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we have to do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer."she explained, checking 'right' across Dan's name.

"Wait, you suspect Lilly?"asked Mabel, frowning.

"Well, yeah. She could have murdered him."

"Well I don't think she did it."said Mabel, crossing her arms.

"I can't believe you actually did that!"yelled a familiar voice. The twins saw that a few feet ahead of them stood Lilly and and a brown haired man.

"Oh, don't give me that crap Lillia. You've known me long enough to know that I would totally do something like that."the man said. He was wearing a white Henley, dark blue jeans and white converse.

"Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that it's wrong!"she said. She was wearing a denim dress reaching her knees and denim high heel boots.

"And it also doesn't change the fact that it's fun! Don't be such a bit-"Lilly slapped her right hand over his mouth when she noticed the two sisters.

"Hi guys!"she smiled, her hand still over the man's mouth, who seemed quite annoyed by this.

"Hi!"said Mabel.

"You're right-handed?"asked Dipper.

"Yes?"she said and Dipped checked 'right'. "Why do you ask?"

"We're trying to solve Wax Stan's murder."answered Mabel.

"And why did you need to know my dominant hand?"the blonde raised an eyebrow.

"Because the murder weapon was a left-handed ax."this time Dipper answered and the man started laughing.

"Why are you laughing?"asked Lilly, removing her hand.

"Oh man, haha, this-this is priceless, haha, you are a suspect in a murder! What happened to Ms.Goody Two Shoes? Hahaha."he wiped a tear out of the corner of his eye.

"SHUT UP!"she yelled at him but he continued laughing.

"Hey! It's not nice to laugh at other people."scowled Mabel.

"Oh, oh! A 10 year old is sticking up for you!"he laughed even harder.

"Leave him be Mabel, but even if I was left-handed I couldn't have done it."said Lilly.

"Why do you say that?"asked Dipper.

"Chrisy called me last night about it and that it happened at 10pm and I was still driving to where this idiot was to bail him. We arrived home at 1am."she explained and Dipper nodded.

"That leaves only seven people."said Dipper looking at the list.

"Then let's split."says the man and the girls look at him.

"Split?"asked Mabel.

"Yeah, spilt. You and Goody Two Shoes take three suspects while we take the other four."he said putting his arm around Dippers shoulders, making her feel uncomfortable.

"Deal."said Lilly before either of the sisters could answer.

"Great!"he took the notepad and split the list in half giving one half to Lilly and Mabel. "Have fun."he said. Lilia took the half and started pulling Mabel, leaving Dipper and the man behind. They watched them walk away before the man pulled her the other direction. "What a bitch."he said and Dipper looked at him just noticing his ocean blue eyes. "She just left you with me despite the fact that I've been multiple times in jail."he said and looked at her. "I'm Peter by the way."

"...Dipper.."she said.

"So you're the new Yellow Wolf."he said.

"What?"

"The Yellow Wolf, you know. Mind manipulation, insanity, future ruler of the Mindscape? You have two wolves named Henry and Rex?"

"That's what I'm called? I'm still new to this. I had just recently met the wolves and Liam."she said.

"The half vampire? Wow, and I'm guessing he hasn't explained anything to you yet?"

"No, but he's going to teach me the spell with the phoenix."

"Ah, the beginners spell. Well, if he's going to teach you magic I'll teach you the history of the Wolf family but enough about that let's get started with those suspects or else Lillia won't stop bitching later."

"By the way, what's your relationship with her?"

"She's my annoying little sister. Who's first on the list?"he asked looking at the paper.

"It's Mikey R."

"Ok, I know where he lives."he said. He led her to an ordinary looking house and they knocked on the door only to find that he had both of his arms in casts. Dipper crossed his name out and they went to Susie who was in the park jogging. Peter called her name and Susie waved at him with her right hand, continuing jogging. "Ok that's everyone!"he said proudly.

"But we haven't met uncle Phil!"argued Dipper.

"We can't. He's right handed and it couldn't have been him because he went on a fishing trip yesterday around 5."he told her.

"Then the only one left is..Toby Determined!"she said.

"That's our guy, he's left handed."

"We gotta call Mabel and Lilly and tell them about this!"she grinned.

"Ok, but how about this: we have lunch first then call them."he said.

"Well...sure, I am hungry."she said and his grin widened.

* * *

They both went to Greasy's Diner and sat in a booth.

"So what do you want?"he asked her, looking at the menu.

"Mmm, not sure. What about you?"

"Pancakes."he said.

"I thought they only served them for breakfast."she said.

"They do but I'm an exception."he said proudly and lazy Susan came to take their order.

"Peter! It's good to see you! Heard you went to jail again."she said with a big smile.

"It's good to see you too Susan and yes I did go to jail."he said, puffing his chest with pride.

"Well it's good to have you back. Now what can I get you and your date?"she asked making Dipper blush.

"Two batches of pancakes, one strawberry and one chocolate milkshake."he said and Susan wrote that down.

"Ok, I'll be right back with your order so you can continue with your date."she said and walked away.

"Don't mind her, she's only joking."he said to Dipper.

"Ok. Hey can you tell me why you went to jail?"she asked.

"Sure and I'll even be able to tell you an important life lesson."he said, leaning on the table.

"What is it?"she asked, curious.

"Flammable and inflammable are the same fucking thing and you should never leave me unsupervised while I'm drunk."he said completely serious and staring her straight in the eye.

"Here's your order. Call me if you need anything else."said Susan and left to take care of the other customers.

"Chocolate or strawberry?"he asked.

"Chocolate. Mabel likes strawberry."she said and they started eating. While they were eating Dipper explained everything they've found about the murder and after they finish Peter paid the bill and they left.

"Where are we going?"asked Dipper.

"We're going to Gravity Falls Gossiper."he answered pulling out his phone to call someone. He waited for a bit before the other person answered. "Tell those dumbasses that are suppose to protect the town that it was Toby Determined and meet us in front of the Gossiper."he said quickly and hang up.

"Who did you just call?"she asked.

"Ms.Goody Two Shoes so we better hurry before they get there."he picked her up and started running.

"What are you doing?!"she yelled and started squirming but wrapped her arms around his neck when he gained speed.

"Didn't I say that we have to get there fast? I want to get some hits before the police get there."he said with a smirk.

"You can't do that!"she yelled.

"Sorry cutie but Black is my master and I only take orders from them."he said with a laugh.

"Who's Black?"she asked.

"I'll tell you later."he said and continued running and before Dipper knew it they were in front of the Gossiper and Peter put her down.

"Ok, here's the plan. I smash the door open and hit him a few times and you ask the questions after that."he told her.

"Um..isn't it better to ask first then hit?"

"Not the way Black and I do it."he said and before she could argue he smashed the door open and charged inside.

"Aaaah!"she heard Toby scream and quickly went inside where she found the journalist on the floor with Peter's foot on his chest and him looming over him.

"What is this?!"he yelled.

"Toby Determined you are arrested for murdering Wax Stan."said in an authorial voice Peter.

"I didn't do it!"yelled the scared journalist.

"I don't like it when people lie to me Toby."he told him and applied pressure on his chest which made him scream.

"STOP THAT! YOU'RE HURTING HIM!"yelled Dipper.

"I DIDN'T DO IT! I SWEAR!"screamed Toby.

"Then where the hell where you?"asked Peter applying even more pressure.

"I WAS HERE AND KISSING MY CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF SHANDRA JIMENEZ! I HAVE IT EVEN ON TAPE!"he screamed and Peter lifted his foot.

"It wasn't him."said Peter and turned to Dipper. She had tears running down her cheeks and when he took a step towards her she flinched back.

"Why did you do that?"she asked.

"Because that's the best way to get the truth out of people. That's how Black and Red do it."he said continued walking towards her while she backed away.

"Red?"her back hit the wall and Peter was right in front of her crouching as to be on eye level with her.

"Yes now let's get out of here."he stood up and left with Dipper following, although hesitant. Peter closed the door and Dipper noticed the police sirens getting louder and louder. They waited as the the police arrived with their sisters.

"How'd you get here so fast?"asked Christina.

"We ran."answered Peter with a shrug. "But it wasn't Toby Determined who murdered Wax Stan. Are there any fingerprints on the axe?"he asked Christina and she shook her head.

"None."she said.

"Told ya that the case was unsolvable."said the sheriff and the twins sighed.

"Well I guess that there's one thing left for us to do."said Mabel.

"What's that?"asked her twin.

"Go to Wax Stan's memorial."she said.

* * *

Stan was standing behind a podium in the wax figure room. On his right was the open coffin with Wax Stan inside and behind them was a portrait of them together. In front of him a bunch of chairs were set up with Dipper, Mabel (who was holding the axe), Lilly, Peter, Soos and the wax figures as the audience.

"Kids, Lilly, Soos, cool looking guy that I have never met, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming."said Stan and Soos blew his nose. "Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."he said and Soos jumped and pointed.

"They're wrong!"he yelled.

"Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven."said Stan and wiped a tear. "I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye!"he said and ran out of the room with Soos running after him also crying.

"Those cops are right about me."said Dipper, crossing her arms.

"Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now."said Mabel trying to cheer her sister up.

"But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues,"she said while walking towards Wax Stan's coffin and looked inside. "Wax Stan has a hole in his shoe..."she said.

"All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy."explained Mabel, walking towards her twin.

"Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints? Mabel! The murderers are-"said Dipper, her eyes widening.

"Standing right behind you."said Wax Sherlock Holmes making Lillia and Peter jump as all the wax figures came to life.

"Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?"gasped Dipper.

"Wha s'up Holmes?"greeted Wax Coolio and Wax Lizzie Borden took her axe from Mabel.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"said Mabel and hid behind her twin and Lillia did the same with her brother.

"Congratulations, my four amateur sleuths, you have unburied the truth and now we're going to bury you."said Wax Holmes pointing at them with his magnifying glass. "Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret."he said taking out Wax Stan's head out of his cape. " Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically."he said and the figures applauded. "Uh, no that sounds too sincere. Slow clap."he said and they clap slowly. "There we go, nice and condescending."

"How is this possible? You're made out of wax!"said Lilia.

"Are you...magic?"asked Mabel and he laughed.

"Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic! WE'RE CURSED!"he yelled and the figures repeated the word 'cursed'. "Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale."he explained.

"A haunted garage sale, son!"added Coolio.

***FLASHBACK***

Stan was at a garage sale and looking at  wax figures.

"I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price."said the seller and Stan looked at the price.

"Twenty dollars?! I'll just take 'em when you're not lookin'."

"What?"asked the confused seller.

"I said I was gonna rob you."repeated the grunkle.

**_And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man._ **

**_But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night._ **

The figures were messing around in the Mystery Shack. Wax Larry King was flicking Wax Coolio's braids while he was trying to read.

"Hey, I told you to stop that."he said.

"Make me!"said Larry continuing flicker his braids. Wax Holmes and Wax Edgar Allan Poe were in Stan's room while he was asleep, laughing and taking pictures. The times when Stan would wake up they would freeze until he went back to sleep.

**_It was a charmed life for us cursed beings..._ **

Stan was shaking the empty admission box and after that put the wax figures in storage.

**_That is, until your uncle closed up the shop. We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away..._ **

After years of being in storage Holmes took Wax Lizzie Borden's axe and on that fateful he swiped Wax Stan's head off with the axe.

**_But we got the wrong guy._ **

***END OF FLASHBACK***

"So,you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!"said Dipper.

"You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!"said Mabel.

"Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must...die."said Wax Holmes. The wax figures approach them with their eyes rolling back and growling.

"What do we do?"asked Lilly.

"How the fuck should I know!"yelled Peter. He pulled out a pistol and started shooting. 

"Why do you have a gun!?"yelled the blonde.

"I always have a gun!"he said and continue to shoot. The wax figures stumbled back with melted holes and Dipper got and idea.

"That's it! We can melt them!"she said and took a heated fire poker. Mabel and Lilia nodded at each other and grabbed the electric candles. The wax figures backed away from them.

"Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!"threatened Lillia.

"Decorative candles!"added Mabel.

"You really think you can defeat us?"asked Wax Holmes.

"It's worth a shot."said Dipper.

"So be it. Attack!"he yelled and the figures attacked. Wax Lizzie Borden swung her ax at Lillia, but accidentally decapitated Wax Robin Hood. The teen sidestepped her and sliced her in half. Wax Shakespeare sneaked up behind Mabel but ran away when she cut off his arms with the candle. His hands were still moving though and started choking her but Lillia quickly melted them.

"Interview this, Larry King!"Dipper yelled decapitating him.

"My neck! My beautiful neck!"he yelled.

"Hey wax assholes!"yelled Peter gaining the figures' attention. "Have any of you ever seen a dragon breath fire?"he asked with a mischievous smirk. Not waiting for their answer he lit a lighter in front of his mouth and blew fire effectively melting them while they screamed.

"Dipper! Watch out!"yelled Mabel. Dipper turned around and saw Wax Holmes approach her.

"Alright. Let's get this taken care of."he said and put Wax Stan's head on the horn of a rhino's head on the wall and grabbed a sword hanging on the wall. He then swung at her but she dodged. Holmes kept on attacking her and she blocked every attack but was pushed back until they reached the attic floor and she was cornered by Wax Holmes against the wall.

"Once your family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once more!"he said, getting ready to strike. The brunette looked at the window and just when Sherlock brought the sword down, she rolled between his legs and out the window.

"Don't count on it!"she yelled climbing onto the Mystery Shack sign.

"Come back here, you brat!"he yelled and followed her. Dipper slowly walked across it while Wax Holmes swung the sword at her. They clashed between poker and sword while trying to maintain balance. Wax Holmes tried to hit her with his sword, but she jumped back and the 'S' in 'Shack' fell off. "You really think you can outwit me girl? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!"he yelled. Dipper dropped the poker and began climbing up the sign. She hid behind the chimney and looked out to see where he was. Just as she looked at the other side Wax Sherlock kicked her down and raised his sword. "Any last words?"he asked.

"Um...you got any sunscreen?"she asked lamely.

"Got any-? What?"he turned around and gasped when he saw the sun beginning to rise. "No."he said as he melted.

"You know, letting me lead you outside? Probably not you sharpest decision."she sat up.

"Outsmarted by a child in short pants! No!"he said and started to melt faster. "Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Tiiter, total kerfuffle. Butter hallabaloo!"everything but his face melted.

"Case closed!"she clapped her hands but the dust made her sneeze.

"Ha ha ha! You sneeze like a kitten! Those policemen were right, you're adorable! Adorable!"he fell off the roof splashing on the ground.

"Ew."was the only thing she said and climbed down to the room where she saw Lillia and Mabel throwing the last remaining wax figure parts into the fire.

"Dipper, you survived!"said happily Peter as he took Wax Stan's head off the wall and gave it to her.

"I sure did!"she agreed and Stan walked in.

"Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor!?"he yelled looking at the destroyed room in horror.

"Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!"explained Mabel.

"I decapitated Larry King."added Dipper.

"And I sliced in half Lizzie Borden"added Lilia.

"And I melted them with my fire breath."added Peter.

"How did you do that?"asked him Mabel.

"I drank two bottles of whiskey before coming here."he dodged his sister's elbow.

"Ha ha! You kids and your imaginations!"smiled Stan and shook his head.

"On the bright side, though, look what we found."said Dipper and showed him the head.

"My head! Haha! I missed this guy! You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing."

"Oh I'm not so sure about that. Is there any other alternative...?"

"Oh uh...I'm not so sure..."

"Haha!"laughed Stan and noogied them both. At that moment a police car drove up to the window with Blubs and Durland sitting in front and Christina in the back.

"Solved the case yet, girl? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee."he said and did that.

"Actually, the answer is yes."she showed them the head. Because of the unexpected answer the sheriff spit the coffee in Durland's face. He screamed and spit coffee in Blub's face and they repeat that all the while the others were laughing.

"It burns! It burns!"screamed the sheriff.

"My eyes!"screamed the deputy. They drove away screaming with Christina in the back laughing.

"They got scalded!"yelled Peter and a crash was heard.

"Are they ok!?"asked Lilia.

"Eh, probably."said Peter and she ran out to check.

"So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?"asked Dipper.

"We're ninety-nine percent sure that we did!"answered Mabel.

"Good enough for me!"she said. Nobody noticed Wax Larry King's head in the vent where he watched them, laughing. A rat walked up to him and he stopped laughing.

"So you're a rat. Tell me about that."he said and it ripped off his ear and ran off. "Hey, get back here!"he hopped after it. "I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!"


	4. The hand that rocks the Mabel

It was sunset and Stan Pines was out in the front yard with some tourists. "For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible 'Sack of Mystery'. When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears!"he said holding out a sack with a stitched on question mark. The crowd muttered several positive things about the trick's credibility and Stan's character. They put their money in it and Stan smiled at their gullibility. While that was happening Soos and the twins were watching TV. Soos was sitting on the one of the armrests of the yellow armchair, Mabel was sitting on the other armrest and Dipper was sitting on the floor.

" _The tiger was badly injured in the explosion, but we repaired him with a fist._ "said the TV narrator. It showed a tiger which had a large muscular human arm attached to its shoulder and they started to cheer. The tiger gasped at the sight of the arm and accidentally punched itself. " _Tiger Fist! ...will return after these messages._ "said the narrator and piano music started playing.

"Hey, look. It's that commercial I was telling you girls about."said Soos.

" _Are you completely miserable?_ "voiced-over a man with a southern accent.

"YES!"answered a man through his tears.

 _"Then you need to meet Gideon."_ voiced-over the man, whispering the name.

"Gideon?"asked Dipper.

"What makes him so special?"asked Mabel.

 _"He's a psychic. So don't waste your time with other so-called_ 'man of mystery' _._ "the screen showed a clip of Stan coming out of an outhouse and was stamped with the word 'FRAUD'. " _Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy."_ finished the man and the subtexts was speed through for commercial.

"Wow, I'm getting all curiousy inside!"said Mabel as Stan walked in.

"Well, don't get too curiousy. Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothin' but trouble."said Stan remembering how Gideon stole his parking spot.

"Well, is he really psychic?"asked Mabel standing up.

"I think we should go and find out."suggested Dipper.

"Never! You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof!"said Stan and shook his fist.

"Do tents have roofs?"asked Dipper.

"I think we just found our loop hole... literally! Mwop mwop!"said Mabel, holding up a string with a loop in it.

 _"So come down soon, folks. Gideon is expecting you."_ voiced-over the man but nobody heard it.

* * *

Later that night Soos, Dipper and Mabel went to the Tent of Telepathy. The tent was blue and white with a colorful wooden pentagram with an eye in it's center on top and in front the tent there was a large, slightly portly, balding man with long brown sideburns going down his face. He was wearing a salmon floral button up shirt with a collar, a white undershirt, a straw hat, tan pants, and white pointed shoes. He had a name tag with Buddy written on it.

"Step right up there, folks. Put your money in Gideon's psychic sack."he said holding a blue sack and the crowd muttered several positive things about the sack's credibility. Inside the tent the trio took their seats.

"Whoa, this is like a bizarre version of the Mystery Shack. They even have their own Soos."said Dipper pointing to a guy very similar to Soos.

"I know, right?"said someone behind her. Turning around she came face to face with none other that Peter. He was wearing a tuxedo shirt, blue jeans and black chucks.

"What are you doing here? And where is Lilly?"she asked, looking around for the blonde.

"She's at home, sleeping. I put some sleeping pills in her soda so I could sneak out."he explained.

"It's starting! It's starting!"whispered Mabel as the lights dimmed.

"Let's see what this monster looks like."said Dipper, crossing her arms. The curtains opened to reveal a short, stout kid with white pompadour hair bigger than his head. He had an upturned nose, blue eyes and three freckles on each of his cheeks. He wore a baby blue suit, a black shirt, and an American flag pin on the left side of his collar and brown, polished shoes.

"Hello America! My name is Li'l Gideon."the boy, Gideon, greeted. He clapped his hands and white doves flew out of his hair making the crowd cheer.

"That's Stan's mortal enemy?"asked Dipper.

"But he's so wittle!"said Mabel in a baby voice.

"Don't be fooled by the act. Black uses the same trick."whispered Peter in Dipper's ear.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight!...Such a gift. I have a vision. I predict that you will soon all say 'aww'."he said and made a cute pose making the crowd say 'aww'.

"It came true."said Mabel, awed.

"What? I'm not impressed."

"You're impressed!"

"Hit it, dad!"said Gideon. His father, the man from before, started playing the piano and he started singing and dancing.

 _"Oh, I can see, what others can't see_  
_It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability_  
_Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined_  
_And you too could see, if you was widdle ol' me!_  
Come on, everybody, rise up! I want y'all to keep it going! _"_ he said and everyone stood up, clapping along the beat.

"Wha—? How did he—?"startled Dipper and Peter frowned.

"Keep it going!  
_You wish your son would call you more"_ he sang pointing to an old woman with a cat.

"I'm leaving everything to my cats!"she yelled, shaking her fist and the cat meowed.

 _"I sense that you've been here before."_ he sang turning towards sheriff Blubs, who was wearing a shirt with Gideon's face on it and holding various other Li'l Gideon merchandise.

"Oh, what gave it away?"he asked.

"Come on."said Dipper and rolled her eyes.

 _"I'll read your mind if I'm able_  
_Something tells me you're named Mabel"_ sang Gideon to Mabel.

"How'd he do that?"she asked her sister and Peter looked at the sweater she was wearing with her name on the front of it.

 _"So welcome all ye... to the Tent of Telepathy_  
_And thanks for visiting... widdle ol' me!"_ the song ended and Gideon was sweating and panting as the crowd cheered wildly. "Oh...oh my goodness."he panted and drank some water, turning to the crowd he said. "Thank you! You people are the real miracles!"

"Woo! Yeah!"cheered Mabel.

* * *

"Man, that kid's an even bigger fraud than Stan! No wonder our uncle's jealous."said Dipper as they were exiting.

"Oh, come on. His dance moves were adorable! And did you see his hair? It was like, whoosh!"said Mabel.

"You're too easily impressed."said Peter.

"Yeah, yeah!"she said.

* * *

The next day at the Mystery Shack Mabel approached Dipper. Mabel was wearing a yellow sweater with a brown llama on it, dark blue skirt, a brown headband and black shoes. "Check it out, Dipper! I successfully bedazzled my face! Blink!"she blinked as she said that and some of the sequins fly off her face. "Ow."

"Is that permanent?"Dipper asked. She was wearing a red cami top, blue shorts, black sneakers and her pine tree hat.

"I'm unappreciated in my time..."frowned Mabel and the doorbell rang.

"Somebody answer that door!"yelled Stan.

"I'll get it."said Mabel and went to answer it. She opened it but there was no one there. She then looked down and found Gideon.

"Howdy."he greeted.

"It's wittle ol' you!"she said and Gideon laughed nervously.

"Yeah, my song's quite catchy. Now, I know we haven't formally met, but after yesterday's performance, I just couldn't get your laugh out of my head."he said.

"You mean this one?"she laughed obnoxiously.

"Oh, what a delight! Now, when I saw you in the audience, I said to myself 'Now there's a kindred spirit! Someone who appreciates the sparkly things in life'."

"That's totally me!"she laughed and cough up some sequins that landed on Gideon's suit, bedazzling it.

"Enchanting. Utterly enchanting."he whispered.

"Who's at the door?"yelled Stan.

"No one, Grunkle Stan!"yelled back Mabel.

"I appreciate your discretion. Now, Stan's no fan of mine. I don't know how a lemon so sour could be related to a peach so sweet."

"Gideon! Aha ha!"

"What do you say we step away from here, and chat a bit more. Perhaps in my dressing room?"he suggested.

"Oh! Makeovers. Yahoo!"she poked him in the stomach. They left the shack and Gideon took her to his house and then his dressing room which Mabel stared in amazement.

"Ya see something you like? 'Cause I do."he said, making her laugh.

"What?"she asked cluelessly.

* * *

Later that day when Mabel returned to the Mystery Shack she went straight to Dipper who was sitting sideways on the armchair in the living room and reading the journal. "Hey Dipper. What's goin' oooon?"she asked, dangling her manicured fingernails over Dipper's head.

"Whoa, where have you been? And what's going on with those fingernails, you look like a wolverine."she sat up and closed the journal.

"I know, right?"she roared and pretended to scratch something. "I was hanging out with my new pal, Gideon. He is one dapper little man."

"Mabel, I don't trust anyone who's hair is bigger than their head."

"Oh, leave him alone! You never want to do girly stuff with me; you and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time! Even though you're a girl."she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"What do you mean?"she asked and as if on cue Soos entered the room.

"Hey dude, you ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?"he asked holding up a package of hot dogs.

"Am I!"she said excitedly and exited the room with Soos, leaving Mabel behind.

"One-at-a-time! One-at-a-time!"they chanted and laughed as popping sounds were heard from the kitchen.

* * *

The next day Mabel and Gideon were on the roof of a factory. Gideon was wearing his baby blue suit while Mabel was wearing a pink sweater with a penguin on it, a purple skirt and a purple headband.

"Whoa, the view from your family's factory is nuts! Good thing we both brought our—"she started.

"—Opera glasses!"they said in union, holding up the glasses and laughing.

"Mabel, when I'm up here lookin' down on all those little ol' people, I feel like I'm king of all I survey. I guess that makes you my queen!"

"What? You are being so nice to me right now, quit it!"she said, smacking him in the stomach.

"I can't quit it. I am speaking from the heart."he said putting his hand over his heart.

"From the where-now?"

"Mabel, I've never felt this close with anyone. So, so close."he stroked her hair, giggling, and she pushed his hand away.

"Look Gideon, I um..."he reached to stroke her hair again, but she pushed his hand away again. "I like you a lot, but let's just be friends."she gave him a smile.

"At least just give me a chance. Mabel, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

"A play date?"she asked and he shook his head. "A shopping date?"she tried again.

"It'll just be one li'l ol' date, I swear on my lucky bolo tie."

"Ummm. Okay, then... I guess..."

"Mabel Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world!"he hugged her.

"Are you sniffing my hair?"she frowned.

* * *

When Mabel returned to the Mystery Shack she saw a white motor scooter parked outside. Curious she went inside and into the living room where she saw Liam and Dipper sitting on the floor playing a video game. Liam was wearing a green t-shirt, black jeans and black sneakers.

"What'cha doing?"she asked them.

"Liam brought his console and we started playing."answered her sister not looking away from the screen.

"Shouldn't you be with Lilly?"asked Mabel, sitting on the armchair.

"Nah. She's having an argument with her brother, or more like she's yelling at him while he's looking at his phone. Something about sleeping pills."he said.

"Anyway how was your day?"asked Dipper.

"I have a date with Gideon. It's not a date-date, it's just, you know, I didn't want to hurt his feelings and so I figured I'd throw him a bone."she said.

"Woah, Mabel. Guys don't work that way. He's gonna fall in love with you."said Liam, pausing the game and giving her his full attention.

"Yeah right. I'm not that lovable."she scoffed.

"I'm telling you Mabel, he's gonna fall in love with you-"

"Unless he already has."added Dipper.

"-and you're gonna regret it."he said, crossing his arms. The doorbell rang and Mabel went to answer it. Opening the door a horse burst through making her scream and fall on her butt.

"A night of enchantment awaits, m'lady!"said Gideon riding the horse.

"Oh boy."

* * *

Gideon took her to an aquatic themed restaurant for their date and were seated at a booth.

"I can't believe they let us bring a horse in here!"she said looking at the horse as he ate from a woman's plate.

"Well, people have a hard time saying no to me."he said, putting his feet on the table.

"Ah, Monsieur Gideon! Ze feet on ze table! An excellent choice!"said a waiter pouring water in his glass.

"Jean Luc, what did we discuss about eye contact?"asked Gideon.

"Yes, yes, very good!"said Jean Luc looking away and backing away.

"I've never seen so many forks! And water with bubbles in it? Ooh lala, oui, oui!"she said, awed by everything.

"Oh! Parlez vous français?!"he asked.

"...I have no idea what you're saying."

* * *

Meanwhile at the Mystery Shack Stan had just found out about Mabel and Gideon's relationship. "Hey, hey! What the jackal is Mabel doing in the paper next to that crazy pickpocket Gideon?"he asked, holding a newspaper with a photo of them.

"Oh, yeah, it's like a big deal. Everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight."said Wendle taping on his phone.

"WHAT?! That little shyster is dating my great-niece!?"he yelled.

"I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple. Mabideon? Gideabel?"wondered Soos out loud before gasping. "Magidbeleon!"

Hearing enough Stan threw the crumbled newspaper before exiting the gift shop to change into his suit.

"I didn't know! I didn't hear about it and plus, I told her not to."yelled Dipper and Stan re-entered after a moment.

"Yeah, well it ends tonight. I'm going right down to that little skunk's house; this is gonna stop RIGHT now!"he yelled and slammed the door.

"Dude, wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet, and he had to come back out again and go out the real door?"said Soos and opened the door. "Nope. Real door."

* * *

Stan's car skid past Gideon's house before he backed up and halted it. The house was a two-story cape cod with a light blue roof and shutters and white walls. There was a fence surrounding the property and a large sign that had a picture of Gideon Gleeful and large words that read 'Home of Lil Gideon' and 'Like from TV'. In the yard there were several garden decorations that resemble Gideon, a gazebo, and numerous plants and trees. Stan walked up to the door which had a 'Please pardon this garden' sign and started knocking.

"Gideon, you little punk! Open up!"he yelled and read the sign. "I will pardon NOTHING!"he ripped the sign off and the door was suddenly opened.

"Why, Stanford Pines! What a delight!"said Bud Gleeful when he saw who was at the door.

"Out of the way Bud, I'm looking for Gideon!"

"Well, I haven't seen the boy around, but since you're here, you simply must come in for coffee!"he said pulling him inside. The living room was painted in light purple and decorated with various pictures. There was pink armchair, a sofa, a wooden coffee table and a marble column-shaped end table.

"But-but I came-"he stuttered.

"It's imported! All the way from Colombia!"said Bud.

"Wow... I went to jail there once."he said and looking around he whistled. "Some digs you got here."he came closer to a crying clown painting. "Oh, this. This is beautiful."

"Now, I hear that your niece and my Gideon are, well, they're singin' in harmony lately so to speak!"said Bud setting down two cups of coffee and sitting down on the armchair.

"Uh, yeah, and I'm against it. Nyah."said Stan, knocking a pillow off the couch.

"No no no. I see it as a fantastic business opportunity."started Bud, showing Stan around. "Yes, the Mystery Shack and the Tent of Telepathy. We've been at each other's throats for far too- lemme get that,"he said, ripping down a picture of Stan from a dart board. "we've been at each other's throats for far too long, yes we have. This is our big chance to set aside our rivalry and pool our collective profit, you see."he said and a ding of a cash register was heard.

"I'm listening."grinned Stan.

* * *

***BACK TO MABEL AND GIDEON'S DATE***

"...And so I said 'Autograph your own head shot lady'."said Gideon and laughed.

"Yeah..."said Mabel as the lobster on her plate pinched her fork.

"Mabel, tonight's date was a complete success. And tomorrow's date promises to top this one in every way!"he smiled.

"Whoa whoa, you said just one date, and this was it."argued Mabel.

"Hark! What a surprise! A red crested South American rainbow macaw!"he said and a macaw landed on his arm, scaring Mabel. "...two, three, four..."

"MABEL! WILL YOU- ACCOMPANY- GIDEON- TO- THE BALLROOM DANCE- THIS- THURBDAY."it said and Gideon shook it violently. "THURSDAY!"it corrected itself before coughing up a letter and flying away.

"Oh, so adorable."said a woman as a crowd started gathering.

"Gideon's got a girlfriend."said the chef.

"They're expectin' us. Please say you'll go."whispered Gideon.

"Oh, Gideon, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to say-"she was interrupted by the sheriff.

"I'm on the edge of my seat."

"This is gonna be adorable."said Tyler Cutebiker.

"If she say's no, I'll die from sadness."said an old woman.

"I can verify that that will indeed happen."said a doctor next to her. The people started chattering making her nervous.

* * *

At the shack Mabel walked past her twin as she was reading a book.

"Hey. How'd it go?"she asked.

"I don't know...I have a lobster now."was the answer she got as Mabel put the lobster in the aquarium.

"Well, at least it's over and you'll never have to go out with him again."a pause. "Mabel? It's over, right? Mabel?"

"BLAARRGG!"her twin flailed her arms. "He asked me out again and I didn't know how to say no."

"Like this: no."she said.

"It's not that easy, Dipper! And I do like Gideon, as a friend/little sister, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings! I just need to get things back to where they used to be. You know, friends."she said.

* * *

Later that night Gideon and Mabel were in the middle of the lake with Old Man McGucket rowing the boat.

"Boat in the night! Boat in the night!"laughed McGucket.

"Hah, you know I thought dancing was gonna be the end of the evening, right?"she laughed nervously.

"Don't you want this evenin' to last, my sweet?"Gideon leaned in and took her hands in his.

"NO!"she pulled her hands away. "I mean yes. I mean I'm always happy to hang out with a friend, buddy, pal, chum, other word for friend..."

"Pal?"suggested McGucket.

"I already said pal, uh, mate?"

"How about soul mate?"proposed Gideon and fireworks flew over their heads. When they exploded they read 'Mabel' within a heart.

"Well, you can't say no to that."said McGucket and she grimaced. In the shadow of the trees two familiar glowing eyes could be seen. They watched the the trio for a moment or two longer before disappearing into the night.

* * *

 Dipper was walking down the stairs when she heard her sister talking and pacing in the living room.

"..I mean, he's so nice, but.. I can't keep doing this. But I can't break his heart. I have no way out!"

"What in the heck happened on that date?"asked Dipper.

"I don't know! I was in the friend zone, and then before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone. It was like quick sand! Chubby quicksand!"she shook her.

"Mabel, come on. It's not like you're gonna have to marry Gideon."reassured her Dipper and Stan came in.

"Great news, Mabel. You have to marry Gideon!"he said, wearing a white shirt with the words 'Team Gideon' in blue.

"WHAT?!"

"It's all part of my long term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus I got this shirt."he gestured the shirt. "Ugh, I am fat."he stated and Mabel ran out the room screaming. "Bodies change, honey! Bodies change..."he called after her. Dipper went after her and found her in the attic where she was hiding in her sweater.

"Oh no. Mabel..."

"Mabel's not here. She's in sweater town."she said, rocking back and forward.

"Are you gonna come _out_ of sweater town?"the pre-teen asked, crouching in front of her and Mabel whined, shaking her head. "Alright, enough is enough. If you can't break up with Gideon, I'll do it for you."she proposed.

"You will?"she peaked out the sweater and saw her twin nodding. She squealed and hugged her. "Oh, thank you thank you thank you!"

"Alright."

* * *

"So what's the plan again?"asked Liam as he drove his scooter The Club.

"I'm going to meet Gideon and tell him that Mabel is breaking up with him."said Dipper, hold tightly onto him from behind.

"And you're sure that this is a good idea."

"Not really but it's worth a shot."she was quiet for a moment before asking. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Are you really a vampire?"

"Only half. I'm guessing Peter told you."

"Yeah. He also said that you will teach me magic while he teaches me the history of the Wolf family."she looked at the nearing club shaped restaurant.

"That's a good thing 'cuz I can't really explain the history as I'm an outsider."

"How come?"

"Well I've only heard stories about the family while Peter actually is part of it."he said as he parked. "You go in and I'll wait here."he told her. Dipper went inside the casino-themed restaurant and straight to Gideon who was sitting in a booth, waiting for her twin. She cleared her throat  and he put down the menu to look at her.

"Oh. Dipper Pines, how are you? You look good, you look good."he nodded.

"Thanks, you uh... Look, Gideon. We've got to talk. Mabel isn't joining you tonight, she uh, she doesn't want to see you anymore. She's uh. She's kinda weirded out by you, no offense."she said and his eye twitched.

"So what you're sayin' is... you've...come between us."his eye twitched again.

"You're not gonna like, freak out or anything, are ya?"she asked noticing his scowl before it turned into an innocent smile.

"Of course not. These things happen. Bygones, you know."

"So. Okay. Cool. Then again, sorry man, but uh, hey, thumbs up. Huh?"she backed away and left.

"Thumbs up indeed, my friend."he whispered once she had turned her back to him.

"How did it go?"asked the blond the moment he saw her leave the restaurant.

"Ok but I have a bad feeling."she got on the scooter.

"How so?"he started it and they were off.

"His eye twitched when I told him that Mabel didn't want to date him and he said that I was getting in between them."she said and Liam nodded. "Plus he kinda creeps me out."

"I know what you mean. He's so innocent and cute that it gives me the creeps and I'm the guy who's half family is vampiric."he said and shuddered. "You won't believe the things I've seen them do."

Soon they arrived at the shack, saying their goodbyes the half vampire left and the brunette went inside where she was greeted with her twin's anxious face.

"How'd it go? Was he mad? Did he try to read your mind with his psychic powers?"was the first thing Mabel said.

"Don't worry, Mabel, he's just a kid. He doesn't have any powers."at least that's what she hoped.

* * *

Gideon was in his room breathing heavily and looking in the mirror, the candle and the light bulbs on the mirror the only sources of light in the otherwise dark room.

"Dipper Pines, you don't know what you've done!"he grabbed his amulet and the candle began to levitate as the light bulbs exploded one by one. Soon all of the furniture in the room began to levitate. "You've just made the biggest mistake of your life!"the levitating objects were dropped on the floor by his will. Because of the noise Bud opened the door to see the mess of broken furniture.

"Gideon Charles Gleeful, clean up your room this instant!"he ordered.

"I CAN BUY AND SELL YOU, OLD MAN!"yelled Gideon, pointing at his father.

"...Fair enough."said Bud and closed the door. Gideon looked at the pictures he had of Mabel attached to the door, and glared at the one with Dipper in it and her side of the picture was burned away.

* * *

The next day Soos and the girls were outside and Soos tucked a pillow under his shirt.

"Hit me, dude!"he said and the twins charge into his stomach and bounce off, laughing. "Feels good."he said.

"I'm so glad everything's back to normal!"Mabel said and they hear the telephone ring. "Your turn."says first Mabel.

"Your turn."finished Dipper her sentence a second later. "Aw, man..."she stood up and walked into the gift shop to answer the phone. "Hello?"

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper."

"Oh hey man. Sorry for accusing you of murder last week and Peter torturing you."she apologized.

"Water under the bridge! Say, we want to interview you about whether you've seen anything unusual about this here town since you've arrived."

"Oh, finally! I thought nobody would ever ask! I have notes and theories!"she listed for a moment. "Uh huh, uh huh."she took out her notebook and wrote down the address Toby gave her. "412 Gopher Road. Tonight? Got it."

* * *

 

***Toby Determined's office***

Toby hang up and turned to the person in front of him.

"There. I did your dirty work. Now it's time you pay YOUR end of the bargain!"he said and the mysterious person threw him a slip of paper. "Ha! Shandra Jimenez's phone number! Bless you, Li'l Gideon!"he hugged the paper as Gideon stood up and left.

* * *

Dipper was walking along Gopher Road until the warehouse own by Gleeful family came into view. She looked at her notepad where address and time of meeting were written on and then at the old mailbox with the number 412 on it. She took a deep breath and exhaled, and continued to walk toward the warehouse. When she reached it she opened the door and walked in.

"Hello?"she called out, her voice echoing. She turned to leave, only for the door to slam shut. Dipper banged on the door and turned around when lights turned on. Gideon swerved around in a swivel chair, petting a doll of himself.

"Hello friend."he greeted.

"Ughh, Gideon."she rolled her eyes.

"Dipper Pines. How long have been livin' in this town? A week, two? You like it here? Enjoy the scenery?"he asked while playing with the doll's hands.

"What do you want from me, man?"she crossed her arms.

"Listen carefully, girl. This town has secrets you couldn't begin to comprehend!"

"Is this about Mabel? I told you, she's not into you!"

"LIAR! YOU turned her against me!"he grabbed his amulet and walked towards her. "She was my peach dumplin'!"

"Uh, you okay, man?"she asked and he levitated her and threw her in a pile of merchandise.

"Readin' minds isn't all I can do."

"But-but you're a fake."

"Oh tell me, Dipper: is this fake?"he levitated all of the merchandise.

* * *

***MYSTERY SHACK***

Mabel was outside the Mystery Shack thinking and chewing on her hair. Wendle walked outside and sat next to her.

"How's that hair tastin', buddy?"he asked her.

"Wendle, I need some advice. You've broken up with girls, right?"

"Oh yeah: Rose Allen, Elly Hall, Harriet Watson..."he counted on his fingers.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross."

"Petra Wirley, Natalia Holt, oh, that girl with the tattoos..."he continued, not listening to the brunette.

"Maybe letting Dipper do it for me was a mistake. Gideon deserves an honest break up."

"Daniela Feldman, Monica Epston... Oh man, I'm not sure I ever actually broke up with her. No _wonder_  she keeps calling me."he said.

"I know what I've gotta do. Thanks for talking to me, Wendle."she said and ran to get her bike and rode off on it. Wendle took out his ringing phone.

"Ignore."he ignored.

* * *

***WAREHOUSE***

Dipper was running away from the merchandise being thrown at her. Gideon laughed evilly and moved a cabinet to smash the pre-teen. Dipper jumped out of the way but hit her head on the wall.

"Grunkle Stan was right about you, you ARE a monster!"she told him.

"Your sister will be mine!"he laughed evilly and pulled the string on one of his dolls making it also laugh evilly. While he wasn't looking she grabbed a bat from one of the packages and got up.

"Who's a cute little guy? You are!"he told the doll.

"No you are!"said the doll. She started running towards him with the bath raised but he saw her and levitated her, making her drop the bat.

"She's never gonna date you, man!"she told him.

"That's a lie."he said and looked at a box of lamb shears. "And I'm gonna make sure you _never_ lie to me again, friend."he levitated the sheers out of the box and moved them closer to her. Outside Mabel got of the bike and ran to the window and saw what was happening. She quickly opened the door and turned to Gideon.

"Gideon! We have to talk!"

"M-Mabel. My marshmalla."he dropped the shears. "What are you doin' here?"

"I'm sorry Gideon, but I can't be your marshmallow. I needed to be honest and tell you that myself."

"I-I don't understand."he squeezed the amulet, therefore squeezing Dipper.

"Uh, Mabel!? This probably isn't the best time to be brutally honest with him!"choked out her twin.

"Hey, but we can still be makeover buddies, right? Wouldn't you like that?"she asked, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"Really?"he asked and she looked at his amulet.

"No, not really!"she pulled off the amulet and Dipper dropped. "You were like, attacking my sister, what the heck?!"

"My tie! Give it back!"he tried to reach it and Mabel threw it to her sister, who caught it.

"Ha! Not so powerful without this, are you?"she mocked and he charged at her screaming, making her drop the amulet, and both broke through the window.

"Dipper!"gasped her twin. They both scream as they fell and Gideon slapped her, in return she punched him. They start screaming soon as they near the ground. They were saved by Mabel who levitated them using the mystic amulet and floated down. "Listen Gideon, it's over. I will never, ever, date you."she said.

"Yeah!"agreed her twin. Mabel dropped them and threw the amulet to the ground, breaking it.

"MY POWERS! Oh this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle... ol' me!"he walked back into the dark forest.

* * *

***GLEEFUL RESIDENCE***

"Ah, this is livin', brother."said Stan after he finished signing papers.

"From now on it's all name brand foods and clown paintings."said Bud and Gideon stormed in. "Well, hey, Gideon! Why, look who I-"Gideon stood on the coffee table.

"Stanford Pines, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee!"he told him.

"Rebuke? Is that a word?"asked Stan.

"The entire Pines' family have invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!"

"What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?"

"Apbap bap but-but sunshine?"laughed Bud nervously. "What about our arrangement with Mabel and-"

"SILENCE!"commanded Gideon.

"Well, uh, I see that he's takin' to one of his _rages_ again. Eh, sorry Stan, I have to side with Gideon on this one."Bud said and ripped the contract.

"Okay, okay. I can see when I'm not wanted."said Stan, grabbing the clown painting and started to leave.

"Stan, I'm-I'm sorry but I'm gonna need that painting back! Stan? STAN!"yelled Bud and Stan ran.

"TRY AND CATCH ME, SUCKERS!"he yelled.

* * *

***MYSTERY SHACK***

Back at the shack Stan hang up the painting and the twins were a mess, sitting on the armchair. "I coulda had it all."he said and looked at the twins. "What the heck happened to you two?"

"Gideon"they said in union.

"Gideon. Yeah, the little mutant 'swore vengeance' on the whole family."he sat down on the dinosaur skull. "Ha, I guess he's gonna try to nibble my ankles or somethin'."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, how's he gonna destroy us now, huh? Try to guess what number we're thinking of?"laughed Dipper

"He'll _never_ guess what number _I'm_ thinking of. NEGATIVE EIGHT! No one would guess a _negative_ number."said Mabel and they all laughed.

"Uh oh. He's plannin' on destruction right now!"said Stan and laid on top the twins as they all laughed.

* * *

***GIDEON'S ROOM***

Gideon was making dolls of the Pines family and started playing with the Mabel doll.

"Gideon, I still love you. If only my family weren't in the way."he picked up the Stan doll and imitated him. "Look at me. I'm old, and I'm smelly."he finished the Dipper and mocked her. "Hey, what are you gonna do without your precious amulet?"he answered in his regular voice. "Oh you'll see girl... "he closedJournal 2. "You'll see..."


	5. The Inconveniencing

The twins were in the gift shop of the Mystery Shack with Wendle, who was wearing his usual 'uniform' with the addition of a name tag and was leaning against the counter, reading a magazine while Mabel was sitting on a spinning globe wearing a turquoise sweater with a music note against a rainbow stripe, a purple skirt and a blue headband. Dipper was sitting on barrel next to the counter reading the journal, which was disguised to look like an ordinary book, and was wearing a green T-shirt, blue shorts, a blue vest and her hat.

"Mabel, do you believe in ghosts?"asked suddenly Dipper.

"I believe you're a big dork! Hahaha!"she laughed and Dipper put her pencil against the globe making her twin fall off.

Stan suddenly entered from outside. "Soos! Wendle!"he called and Soos ran up to him panting.

"What's up, Mr. Pines!"he asked.

"I'm headin' out. You two are gonna wash the bathrooms, right?" Stan asked.

"Yes, sir!"answered Soos with a salute as did Wendle with his reply of: "Absolutely not!"

"Haha! You stay out of trouble!"warned Stan before he left. Soos and Wendle glanced at each other and the redhead walked past the girls to a curtain.

"Hey girls! What's this?"he unveiled the curtain to show a ladder. "A secret ladder to the roof?"

"Uh, I don't think Mr. Pines would like that."said Soos worriedly.

"Huh?"Wendle extended his arm with his palm towards Soos.

"Uhhhhh."

"Huh?"

"You're freaking me out, dude!"said Soos, clutching his hat.

"Can we actually go up there?"asked Dipper.

"Sure we can! Roof time! Roof time!"chanted the teen already climbing the ladder.

"Roof time! Roof time!"chanted the girls climbing it and Soos looked out the window nervously. They exited through the trapdoor on the roof of the gift shop and climbed to the other side if the shack.

"Alright, check it out!"he said, showing them his spot. There was an opened beach umbrella with a sunbed underneath it, a cooler and a bucket filled with pine cones next to them.

"Did you put all this stuff up here?"asked Dipper.

"I may or may not sneak up here during work, all the time, everyday."he answered casually, picking up a cone he threw it and hit a drawn target on the totem pole near the shack. "Yes!"

"Cool!""Me first!"said the twins, both grabbed some pine cones and tried to hit the target. Dipper accidentally hit a car, making the alarm go off and blushed.

"Jackpot! High five."said the teen holding up his hand. She looked at him and felt her face heat up again seeing him smile at her like that and the wind gently blowing his hair. "...Don't leave me hangin'."he added after she didn't high five him and she quickly did. "Oh hey, it's my friends!"he said and they looked as a blue SUV pulled up and someone waved from the driver's side window.

"Wendle!"the man called out.

"Hey, you guys aren't going to tell Stan about this, are you?"he asked them. Dipper smiled and zipped her lips, throwing the imaginary key. The teen did the same before turning toward the car. "Later dorks!"he grabbed the nearest tree and slid down it before getting into the car.

"Let's get out of here!"they heard the driver say before diving off.

"Later Wendle! Heh heh heh! Good times!"said Dipper.

"Uh, oh!"grinned her sister, putting her hands on her hips and swaying them a little.

"What?"she asked.

"Somebody's in love!"Mabel poked her cheek.

"Yeah, right! I just think Wendle's cool, okay? It's not like I lie awake at night thinking about him!"she said. Later that night while her twin was sound asleep Dipper was wide awake. "Uh-oh."

* * *

"Random dance party for no reason!"yelled Mabel, turning on the cassette player and starting to dance.

"Go! Go! Go! Go!"chanted Wendle as he also danced. Dipper was looking at them, writing 'I am pretending to write something down.' on a clipboard and nodding as she read it. "Dipper!"called out Wendle startling her.

"Uh what, yes?"she asked nervously.

"Aren't ya gonna get in on this?"he asked her.

"I don't really dance."she walked closer to them when they stopped dancing.

"Yeah, you do! Mom used to dress her up in a princess costume and make her do..."Mabel lowered her voice as to whisper to him. " _The Princess Dance!_ "

"Now is not the time to talk about the Princess Dance."Dipper angrily told her.

"Princess costume? Wow, is there like a crown and a lot of sparkles or...?"he asked the girl.

"Dipper would dance around and sing about what it means to be a queen."answered Mabel, holding a picture of a 5 year old Dipper in a renaissance styled blue dress with a silver circlet resting on her head. They all heard the clock cuckoo and Wendle stood up.

"Hey, look at that! Quittin' time! The gang's waitin' for me."he took off his name tag, putting it in his pocket, and started walking towards the door.

"Wait! Why don't I-or we come with you?"asked Dipper, stopping him in his tracks.

"Ooh... I don't know. My friends are pretty intense. How old did you guys say you are?"he asked.

"We're thirteen! So, technically a teen."she said.

"All right. I like your moxie, kid! Let me get my stuff."he said and left the two sisters alone.

"Since when are we thirteen? Is this a leap year?"mused Mabel.

"Come on, Mabel. This is our chance to hang out with, you know, the cool kids. And Wendle and whatever."said Dipper, looking away when she said the last part.

"I knew it! You love him!"Mabel jumped off the counter and started dancing around her, singing: "Love love love love love!"

"Oh hey, what's that?"pointed Dipper. Mabel turned to look at where her twin pointed and Dipper flipped her hair over her face.

* * *

Outside the shack two teenagers were holding their friend upside-down by his legs. The boy on the left was lanky and had long blonde hair. He was wearing a red t-shirt with an orange thumbs up symbol on it, black shorts and black and white converses. He had pale skin and a somewhat large chin. The girl on the right had dark skin, mid-back brown hair and a dark aqua green and white cap. She was wearing a black t-shirt with a melting skull on it, blue skinny jeans and black shoes. She also had tattoos on her arms. The guy in the middle who was being held was heavyset and had light skin, brown hair and mustache stubble. He wasn't wearing a shirt but was wearing brown shorts, white socks, a brown and gold watch, and brown and gray shoes. Another girl was a few feet across from them. She had long black hair that covered her left eye, pale skin with a few pimples and several piercings on her ears. She was wearing tight skinny jeans with a key chain attached to the pocket and a light black hoodie with a picture of a red bleeding heart with stitches on it along with black fingerless gloves. She had a black guitar strapped to her back. Next to her was a boy with light brown skin and long purple hair in a half mohawk who was recording on his phone. He was wearing a light purple shirt, black jeans and black boots.

"In the belly! In the belly!"chanted the teenagers holding their friend.

"Come on! Hurry up!"he yelled. The raven haired girl got ready to throw a jelly bean but someone beat her to it. She looked at her jelly in confusion before turning around and seeing Wendle straighten up from his throwing position smiling.

"Wendle!"they called.

"Hey guys! These are my pals from work, Mabel and Dipper."he introduced.

"I chewed my gum so it looks like a brain! BLAH!"said Mabel and stuck her tongue out to show the gum.

"She's not much for first impressions. Unlike this girl!"said Dipper pointing at herself.

"So are you, like, babysitting, or-"asked the raven haired girl.

"Come on, Robin! Guys, this is Lee and Natalia."introduced Wendle pointing at the blond and the girl with the tattoos. "Timber."he pointed at the guy with purple hair who was texting on his phone.

"Hey..."he greeted, not taking his eyes off the device.

"Thompson, who once ate a runover waffle for 50 cents."he pointed to the last remaining boy who had put on a green shirt with a popped collar and a small bunny icon over his left side.

"Don't tell them that!"he said.

"And Robin. You can probably figure her out."he pointed to the black haired girl who was now playing her guitar.

"Yeah, I'm the girl who spray-painted the water tower."she casually said.

"Oh, you mean the big muffin!"said Dipper.

"Um, it's a giant explosion."she corrected and everyone looked at the water tower.

"Hehe! Kinda does look like a muffin!"said Lee and laughed with Natalia making Robin glare at the preteen.

"Let's hurry it up, guys. I got big plans for tonight!"clapped his hands Wendle. They all got in the car and Dipper went to the passenger seat but saw Robin already sitting there.

"Sorry kid, I'll ride shotgun alright?"she said smugly and the preteen went to sit with her sister in the back. Thompson started the car before turning to his friends.

"Okay just, before we go, my mom said you guys aren't allowed to punch the roof anymore, so..."

"Thompson! Thompson! Thompson!"the teens chanted and punched the roof. Sighing, he started driving. Mabel looked around, taking her sister's red sharpie she crossed out 'You stink!' on her door and wrote 'You look nice today!'.

"Ha! This is gonna blow someone's mind!"she told Dipper.

"Mabel, please!"elbowed her Dipper.

"What, am I embarrassing you in front of your new BOY-"Dipper quickly slapped her hand over her sister's mouth before pulling it away.

"Ugh! Did you just lick my hand?"

* * *

***AT THE SHACK***

Stan was in the living room watching TV.

" _You're watching the black and white period piece old lady boring movie channel!"_ said the TV announcer and Stan looked around for the remote.

"Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!"he yelled.

_"Stay tuned for the Friday night movie, The Duchess Approves, starring Sturly Stembleburgiss as 'The Duchess' and Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble as irascible coxswain 'Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire'!"_

"KIDS!"he yelled desperately but it was too late, the show had started. "NO! _NOOOO!"_

* * *

***WITH THE TWINS***

They had arrived at their destination which was an ordinary looking convenience store that they watched from the other side of the wired fence.

"There it is, fellas! The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn!"said Wendle.

"Ha! Cool!"laughed Lee and Natalia.

"Neato!"said Mabel.

"Why'd they shut it down, was it like a health code violation, or-"asked Dipper.

"Try murder!"said Natalia.

"Some folks died in there, the place has been haunted ever since!"said the blond.

"This town has such a colorful history!"said happily Mabel.

"Wha... Are you guys serious?"

"Yeah! We're all gonna die! Chill out man!"the redhead punched her lightly. "It's not as bad as it looks!"Dipper looked at a sign that read 'NO TRESPASSING VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED' but someone wrote with red paint 'DEAD' over prosecuted. They started climbing the fence even though Dipper was a bit scared but, hey, she has ridden a wolf, fought a gnome monster and nearly got killed by a psychic because he couldn't take a hint! There was no way a simple fence was going to scare her! She steeled her nerves and jumped off the fence, landing perfectly fine. Once everyone was on the other side they all went to the store.

"Wow! This place is amazing!"commented Wendle looking through the window.

"I think it's, it's stuck!"said Robin as she pulled at the door.

"Let me take a crack at it!"said confidently Dipper.

"Oh yeah. I can't get in, but I'm sure Junior here is gonna break it down like She-Hulk!"the raven said sarcastically.

"Come on, leave her alone. She's just a little kid."said Wendle. Deciding to take action Dipper walked over to a dumpster and using it got to the roof.

"Kid, what are you doing?"asked a worried Timber as she went to the vents and started punching the metal plate until it gave out.

"Go Dipper! Punch that metal thing!"encouraged her sister and she walked in.

"Who wants to bet he doesn't make it?"asked Robin and as if on cue Dipper opened the door from inside.

"Good call inviting this little maniac!"said Lee as he passed her.

"Your new name is Dr. Funtimes!"told her Natalia and Mabel high fived her.

"Nice work!"praised Wendle and she followed.

"Do you guys really think it's haunted?"asked Thompson

"Na! Thompson are you kidding me?"asked Natalia. Nobody saw how the  _'Yes, we're open'_ turned on it's own to ' _Get lost! We're closed_ '. The group started exploring the old store, the moonlight their only source of light.

"Whoa man, it's even creepier than I imagined!"said Wendle as he explored with Dipper and Robin. Mabel wiped dust off a change slot at the cash register and licked it off her finger.

"Yep. It's dust."she confirmed. Dipper took an old newspaper covered in dust and wiped it off to find that it dated back to May 2, 1995.

"Hey dude, where do you think they keep the dead bodies?"Lee asked Natalia and she shoved him with a "Shut up, man!"

"Guys, check it out! You think these still work?"asked Wendle as he switched the lights on and the store came to life.

"Jackpot!"said Mabel.

"So, what are we going to do now?"asked Dipper.

"Anything we want."he answered. They soon separated into two groups, grabbing as much food as they could and started throwing it at each other. Later they sat in a circle and popped mints into a Pit Cola bottle, cheering as it exploded. Mabel ran around a corner and stopped dead at her tracks, a display full of sugary snacks in front of her.

"Oh my Gosh! Smile Dip! I thought this stuff was banned in America!"she said grabbing one.

"Maybe they had a good reason."said Dipper nearly got hit by a balloon full of mustard so she ran off. Mabel opened the package and put the stick into the the Smile Dip, looking at the stick she then poured the entire package into her mouth.

* * *

 Wendle and Dipper were sitting on top a shelf and eating ice pops as Natalia called for Thompson to come where she was and he eagerly went making the redhead laugh. "Thompson! Dipper, this night is like, legendary." he told her.

"Really?"

"Just look around. The girls and Thompson are bonding."Natalia was pulling Thompson's pants as Robin stuffed ice into them. "I've never even seen Timber look up from his phone this long."Timber looked up from his phone for a second. "And your sister seems to be going nuts with that Smile Dip."Mabel was leaning against the display covered in the powder.

"Ugh, maybe I've had too much. What do you think?"she asked the huge dog only she could see since she was hallucinating because of the powder and had found herself in a valley that changes colors and crazy pop music was playing in the background.

"Would you like to eat my candy paws?"asked another big dog raising his paw.

"Of course you little angel!"she grabbed the paw and started chewing it while in reality she was opening and not entirely closing her mouth her, her pupils blown. Wendle and Dipper watched her for a moment before continuing with their conversation.

"You know Dipper, I wasn't sure if you could hang with our crew at first, but you're surprisingly mature for your age."

"Yes, yes I am."she continued to eat her ice cream.

"Hey guys! We need more ice!"said Lee as he shook an empty bag over Thompson's pants.

"I'm on it!"said Dipper, jumping off the shelf and walking towards the freezer. She grabbed a bag of ice and looked up to see a human brain with veins hanging off of it, some of which formed hands, two retractable stalk eyes, and a mouth that looked like a pair of dentures. She yelped and quickly closed the door, the bag of ice thrown to the floor. She gasped and looked at the door. She slowly opened the door but the brain was not there.

"What was that? I thought I heard some lady screaming back here."said Lee as he and the gang walked towards her.

"You freakin' out, kid?"asked Natalia.

"No. I'm cool. Everything's cool."she lied.

"Then what's all this about?"asked Robin pointing towards the ice on the floor.

"That's uh, um uh..."she looked around for a distraction. "Hey look! **_Dancy Pants Revolution_**! The game that tricks people into exercising!"The teens quickly forgot about her and went to play the game with Dipper followed but slower as to think about what she just saw. Thompson started to play the game as everyone, except Mabel, cheered him on.

" _Dance! Hurry up!_ "said the game.

"Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!"chanted Lee and Natalia.

"Wow. He's really terrible at this."said Wendle.

"Heh heh, yeah. That's, that's great."said Dipper. She glanced into a glass door and saw the reflections of Wendle, Robin, Timber, Thompson and herself but as skeletons. She rubbed her eyes and everything was back to normal. "I'll be right back."she ran towards a payphone and dialed a number. After two rings it was answered.

" _Hello?_ "asked the familiar voice of the blond half vampire.

"Liam! Iseriouslyneedyourhelp! We'retrappedinahauntedconveniencestoreand-"she said in one breath.

" _Woah, woah, woah! Calm down!_ "he said and she breathed before trying to explain.

"I need your help. I'm with Wendle's friend at a convenience store and I think it's actually haunted."she said slowly.

" _Convenience store? Is this by any chance Dusk 2 Dawn?_ "

"Yeah, I'm guessing you've heard of it?"

" _My dad actually. He said that the ghosts of the old couple were restless and still haunted the place._ "she heard some noise from his side. " _I'm coming and whatever you do if you find chalk markings of the bodies do **not** let anybody lay down on them. I'll be there in about 10minutes._"he hung up. She looked at the phone before running towards her sister.

"Mabel, I need your advice. We're hanging out in a haunted convenience store and if I say anything about it to any of these guys they'll just think I'm a scared little kid or something!"she said and Mabel just made a gurgling sound with Smile Dip all over her face and clothes, her eyes small and somehow green. "Mabel?"

***MABEL'S HALLUCINATION***

Mabel was ridding on a flying dolphin with muscular human arms and crazy pop music was playing in the background. "The future! ...is in the past! Onward Aoshima!"she said. Aoshima, the dolphin, moved its fists in a circular motion, creating a second head, its mouths opened to reveal a fist coming out of them each of them and it's sides, and the fists opened out to reveal dolphin faces that spit out rainbows.

***REALITY***

"Mabel! How many of these did you eat!?"shook her Dipper by the shoulders.

"Beleven.. teen..."answered her twin and Dipper dropped her. She went to where the teens were, hoping that Liam would arrive soon.

"Whoa guys, you might wanna see this."said Robin and everyone gathered around the chalk markings of the old couple.

"Then the rumors are true!"said Lee wide-eyed and Dipper gulped.

"Dude, I dare you to lie down in it."said Robin to the blond.

"Good idea!"he turned to Natalia."Go lie down in it!"

"I'm a dead body, look!"she said walking towards the markings. Just as she was about to step on them, and Dipper was about to stop her, the door was opened to reveal the half vampire.

"What do you think you're doing?"he said looking at them.

"We're having fun obviously."said Robin crossing her arms to which Liam snorted.

"Really? Because it looks to me like you're trespassing. So you either get out right now or I'll call the cops."he threatened, pulling out his phone. The teens looked at each other worriedly before Robin snapped at him.

"What's your problem? We're just having fun!"she yelled.

"Yeah and this 'fun' will land you in jail."he said, getting annoyed. Dipper looked at the two and spoke up.

"Maybe we should listen to him Robin."she said and the ravenette glared at her.

"So you're siding with him now Captain Buzzkill?"

"I thought I was Dr. Funtimes."

"Well, you're acting like Captain Buzzkill!"she walked towards the markings.

"Don't step on those!"yelled Liam.

"Or what?"she lied down and the markings lit up as the lights went off. Timber looked up from his phone before dissolving, dropping the device. Liam picked it up and read out loud.

"Status update: AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!"they looked up as the security camera monitor turned on and Timber appeared on it, screaming and banging on the screen. Everyone except Liam, who looked paler than usual, screamed.

"TIMBER! TIMBER!"called Wendle.

"Can you hear us!?"asked Dipper and the teen only looked around, not seeing them.

"What are we supposed to do!?"asked Natalia.

"I don't know man! I don't know!"said Lee.

"Let's just go already!"said Robin.

"Thompson!"called the redhead the teen who was still playing Dancy Pants Revolution.

"Wait! I've almost got the high score!"said the brunette before disappearing and reappearing inside the game. "Uh? What?"

" _It's time to shake what your mama gave you!_ "the game said as arrows started falling and the teen tried to dodge them.

"No! So many arrows!"he said as the arrows hit him, making him fall.

" _You're a dance machine!_ "said the game, increasing the number of arrows.

"No! **You're** a dance machine!"the teen said, curling up into a fetal position and crying.

"Thompson!"said Wendle.

"Forget them! Let's go!"said Robin and the doors slammed shut.

"What the..."Liam tried to open them but couldn't. "It's locked!"

"OUTTA MY WAY!"said Robin and threw the cash register at the doors bit it dissolved and green light flew at her.

"Everybody, wait! Whatever's doing this has to have some kind of reason!"tried to reason Dipper as she opened the journal. "Maybe if we can figure out what it is, they'll let us out of here!"

"'Uh-uh they'll let us out of here!'"said Robin sarcastically. "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense!" 

"Hey! Last time I checked it is _your_  fault we are in this mess!"growled Liam.

"Yeah, Robin. You _were_ the one who laid down on the marking."agreed Wendle. "Plus maybe she's got a point!"

"Yeah right, I'm sure the ghost just wants to talk about his feelings!"said Lee sarcastically before dissolving and appearing on a cereal box.

"I'm bonkers for eating you alive!"said the bird on the box before stabbing the blond with his spoon.

"Lee! Okay, okay.. I'm with you kid! 100%, man!"said Natalia. Mabel flew up from behind the counter, her eyes completely white and and a blue aura around her.

"Welcome."she said in a deep voice making them scream.

"They got Mabel!"screamed Dipper.

"Welcome to your graves, young trespassers."laughed the possessed twin, holding her middle and kicking her legs.

"We're super sorry for hanging out in your store!"apologised Wendle.

"Yeah! Can we just go now and leave forever?"asked Dipper.

"Well... okay. You're free to go."the ghost said and the doors opened. "But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs!"she said and floated towards the hot dog cooker. Both teenage girls screamed and ran towards the door only for it to close. "Just kidding about the hot dog sale!"said the ghost.

"Just let us out of here already!"said Natalia.

"I don't like your tone!"the ghost said and Mabel's eyes glowed as the girl was lifted into the air and dissolved before appearing on the hot dog cooker as a hot dog. "It begins."everything shook before floating to the ceiling. "Welcome to your home for all eternity!"

"Dipper, what do we do?!"asked Wendle as a smoothie machine came towards him from behind.

"DUCK!"she quickly pulled him down as to avoid being hit by it.

"Quick! In there!"said Liam pointing to an overturned cupboard. They all ran, avoiding the floating objects and hid inside.

"What are we gonna do!?"asked the pre-teen.

"Whatever it is we better do it fast or else Mabel's body isn't going to last long."said the halfa looking at the possessed girl.

"What do you mean her body isn't going to last?"asked Dipper as dread filled her.

"Well the ghost obviously hates us and I don't think it will hesitate to kill us. It's just playing with us. And the powers it showed Mabel won't be able to handle them."he said and Dipper froze. The blond continued to talk but she wasn't listening, the whole world seemed to go silent for her. It was all her fault, she thought, she was the one who wanted to spend some time with Wendle and she went ahead and dragged her sister. Fear gripped her heart as she thought how her sister, her best friend, the girl who has always been with her was going to get killed because of her...She got angry. The ghost was messing with  _her_ sister,  _her_ best friend, the girl who was with her from the first day of her life. She got up and walked towards the ghost, Wendle called for her but she didn't hear. She felt like there was fire in her hands as she walked toward her sister, not realizing that there actually were yellow flames in her hands.

"Hey ghost!"she said and Mabel turned toward her. "GET."she stomped on a piece of glass, breaking it. "AWAY."the ghost flinched back. "FROM."the flames grew bigger as she clenched her hands and Liam covered Wendle's eyes as he watched. " **MY SISTER!** "fire erupted from her legs and wrapped around her twin. Mabel screamed but instead of her scream it was the scream of the deeper and a higher voice mixed in one. Mabel fell limp as the screams continued and was gently cradled by the yellow flames. The screams continued for a few more seconds before stopping and everything fell back to the floor but the twins were gently lowered by the fire before it extinguished. The teens were all freed and asked what had happened.

"You are not going to believe it! The ghosts appeared and Dipper-"Liam slapped a hand over the redhead's mouth.

"And Dipper just grabbed a bat, and started beating ghosts down, left and right, and the ghost got all scared, and ran away."he said. Wendle tried to say something but a glare from the blond halfa stopped him. The teens soon left the shop with Liam carrying Mabel and putting her inside the van. He bid them goodbye as he got on his scooter and warned them (with a glare at Robin) to not do that again to which they agreed, a little scared, before he drove off.

"Well, I'm probably scarred for life."said Wendle.

"Yeah, that was pretty crazy."said Dipper.

"I think I'll go stare at a wall for a while and RETHINK EVERYTHING. Hey, next time we hang out, let's stay at the Mystery Shack. Okay?"

"Sure."they got inside the van and left. Soon Mabel started stir awake while everyone except Thompson and Dipper were asleep.

She groaned and looked at what she had written before on the door. "What kind of sick joke is this?"

Thompson dropped them off in front of the Mystery Shack and continued to the others' homes, by then Mabel had awaken more but still had a small headache. They were walking towards the front door when the Tv from the livingroom was thrown from the window, nearly hitting. Stan poked his head from the broken window. "Uh, couldn't find the remote."he said.


	6. Magic lesson and training Stan

Stan was in the gift shop of the shack with a customer. "I like to get my Christmas shopping done early. Do you have anything that's in the spirit of the season?"the customer, Tyler Cutebiker, asked.

"Uh, how about these crystals?"said Stan, putting a bowl of 'crystals' on the counter.

"Ha ha! Looks like broken glass."

"What are you, a cop?"narrowed his eyes Stan.

"Ooh! What is that new thing?"Tyler ran towards a display just as the twins came in. Mabel was wearing an olive green sweater with mushrooms, a pink skirt, black shoes and a pink headband. Dipper was wearing a light blue shirt, cobalt shorts, black sneakers and her pine tree hat.

"Grunkle Stan?"asked Dipper.

"Can we go to the diner? We're huuungry."said Mabel.

"Huuuuungry."repeated her twin. They both hit their stomachs against each other for emphasis.

"Yeah, sure. Soon as this yahoo makes up his mind."he pointed to Cutebiker.

"Do you have this in another animal?"Tyler pointed at a fur trout.

"...I'm fine locking him inside if you are."he said and the girls nodded. The three Pines exited the shop, closing the door, and Stan put a plank against the it. They ran to the car and drove away while the customer was still inside, oblivious, choosing between a puma shirt and panther shirt.

* * *

 They arrived at the diner and went inside to find a booth. They walked past Old Man McGucket, who was drinking A LOT of coffee, past Wendle, who was eating with Manly Dan and past sheriff Blubs, who was eating pancakes very quickly while Deputy Durland used a speeding device at him.

"Well, if it isn't the Pines family."said Christina sitting in a booth with Lilia and Liam.

"Hi Liam."greeted Dipper while Mabel greeted the girls.

"You guys wanna sit with us?"asked Christina. She was wearing a green tied shirt, skinny jeans and tan sandals with her hair was done in a braid.

"Sure!"said Mabel and sat next to her with her grunkle while Dipper sat across from them, next to Liam. He was wearing a dark purple turtleneck, blue jeans and black chucks. Lilia was wearing a white tube top, black leggings and running shoes. Lazy Susan soon came to take their orders.

"Lazy Susan! There's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?"asked Stan.

"I got hit by a bus!"she said and he laughed.

"Hilarious!"he said still laughing.

"Thank you. What can I get you?"

"We'll have two omelets and a number thirteen."said Liam. "You?"

"You do split plates, right?"asked Stan.

"Maybe..."she pulled her eyelid up and then down. "Wink!"

"Great! We'll all split a one-fourth of the number seven, plus a free salad dressing and a small plate of ketchup for the ladies."he said. Susan wrote down the orders and walked away.

"But Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes!"complained Mabel.

"With the fancy flour they use these days? What am I, made of money?"he raised hands and a piece of money showed out of his sleeve. "Tap tap."he tapped it back inside. Dipper looked around and saw a Manliness Tester the prize of which was free pancakes.

"Hey Liam, why don't you win us some pancakes by beating that manliness tester?"she asked.

He looked at the machine and grinned at her. "Sure!"the pre-teen stood up and the halfa walked to the machine. He squeezed the joystick and a light appeared next to the 'manly man' level. He smirked, grabbing the plate of pancakes he walked back to the booth.

"Nice job, Liam!"said Christina.

"I always knew I didn't just dated you for your looks."teased Lilia. Soon Susan brought them their orders. "Food!" 

"Thanks there, sugar pot. I-I mean, I mean uh honey wasp, kitten baby, b-baby cow."said Stan.

"Haha! Silly!"she walked away. "Silly man..."

"What was that about?"asked Lilia.

"Nothing. I don't wanna talk about it. Talk about what? Why is this table wet?"he said nervously.

"Wait just a second. I think I have an idea happening here. You..."started Mabel.

"No!"

"And her..."continued Christina.

"Stop it!"he said and Mabel squealed. "Oh boy."

"You have a thing for Lazy Susan! You **do** have a soft side!"said Lilia.

"Keep it down, will ya?!"he shushed them. "Alright. I admit it, okay? It would be nice if she liked me. But I've been out of the game for so long I wouldn't know where to start. I mean, look at her. She's so classy."they turned to look at her as she hit the spinning pie trolley, demanding it to spin.

Mabel grabbed his face and turned him towards her. "Grunkle Stan, you are a cranky, gross, weird old man. But we will get Lazy Susan to like you because nothing is stronger than the power of-"

"Love?"he asked.

"Mabel. To victory!"she drank the salad dressing. "And we'll help you."said Christina and Liam hummed.

"Well, while you're helping Stan Dipper and I will hang out."the halfa stood up and so did Dipper.

"You're not going to help us?"asked Lilia with a slight disapproving tone. 

"I'm not really good with the whole 'asking someone out' thing,"he kissed her on the mouth. "and you were, after all, the one who asked me out."he quickly left with Dipper while she blushed.

"Where are we going?"asked Dipper once they were outside.

"To a little clearing in the woods. Peter and the wolves are waiting for us there."he turned to an alley that lead to the woods. "We agreed that it's time for your first magic and history lessons."she grinned at that. "What will my first lesson be about?"she moved a branch away.

"Magic. You're going to learn my family spells first before you begin with your own family magic. After that Peter's going to teach you the Wolf family history."he turned after a large rock. "We're here."he said after half an hour of walking. They arrived at a clearing with a stream running near it and a picnic table, half under the shade of a tree, with books on the shade end while on the other end there was a picnic basket and a radio. Peter was seated on the bench and was listening to the radio while the two wolves were laying in the sunlight. He was wearing a red shirt, black slacks and combat boots.

" _And now, traffic._ "they heard the radio say." _There’s a stalled car on the northbound on-ramp to the Eastern Expressway just south of Route 800. Commuters should have little delays, as Highway Patrol is fiercely denying this report._ "the brunette seemed to notice them and waved.

"Hey, what took you so long?"

"We had lunch. You're listening to Night Vale news?"he got a hum in response.

"I heard that they were gonna tell the horoscopes."he said and turned towards the radio. Dipper looked at Liam who shrugged and sat down, a moment later so did Dipper. "What sign are you?"asked her Peter.

"Virgo. You?"

"Taurus and Dracula is Leo."he said.

" _...All other roads seem clear. Expect delays, of course, at the drawbridge construction site, because it is years away from being competently finished._ "said the radio." _Here are this week’s horoscopes. V_ _irgo: Go see a movie today. It’s a great escape! Especially from all this pollution and dangerous UV radiation. Say, is that mole new?_ "it said and Dipper paled. What kind of horoscope was this!?

"It only applies to people who are in Night Vale."said Peter. 

"Where is Night Vale?"she asked.

"Night Vale is located somewhere in the American southwest, surrounded by empty desert, near Desert Bluffs. It's pretty hard to find so I like going there when the police are searching for me or when I want a vacation. I can take you there sometime when you learn how to control your powers."he said. They fell silent as they listened to the  other horoscopes and waited for their own. 

" _Taurus: Today is your annual Crime Day. All Tauruses are exempt from laws today._ "

"Hell yeah!"cheered Peter, grabbing a beer from the basket he stood up. "I'm going to Night Vale. I should be back sometime later this evening."

"What about the history lessons?"Dipper asked.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you another time."he said and left as the radio continued it's broadcast.

" _...stars say today. Interpret it as you will. Leo: It’s better that I don’t read this aloud. Better that you not know. Tell your family that you love them._ "it said and continued with other things.

Liam looked sharply at the radio and muttered. "Thank heavens I'm not in Night Vale."he turned it off. "Well it looks like magic will be the only thing you'll be studying today."he looked at the books at the other end of the table and smiled. "It seems that Peter brought some of his own books."he picked up a leather bound book with a golden symbol that was a mix between an ankh and a cross, under it there were golden letters but she couldn't read them as they were in another language. "Today I'll be teaching you the  _ **P**_ _ **hoenix spell.**_ "he opened the book and turned to the first page, unsurprisingly in was in the same foreign language but there was a drawing of a phoenix and under it a hand. "We'll start with the theory first before moving to actually doing it."

"I can't read what it says."she said simply and the blond chuckled. He put his hand an inch or two over the book and muttered something in another language. The letters glowed red and shifted into different letters, ones that she could read before ceasing to glow.

"How bout now?"he asked.

"Better."she said and started to read about the spell.

* * *

***MYSTERY SHACK***

Stan was in the living room, shuffling cards when his niece, Lilia and Christina walked up to him. "Okay, Grunkle Stan. Welcome to the first day of whatever is left of your life! First, a before picture."said Mabel and Christina raised a camera.

"Get ready Mr.Pines."she warned and took a photo of him looking bored and holding cards in his hands. Mabel took the photo and slapped it in a purple scrapbook. "I never miss a scrapbookertunity! Let's start out with some roleplaying. Soos will play Lazy Susan."she pointed to Soos who was dressed similarly to Lazy Susan.

"I'm soft, like a woman."he said.

"Grunkle Stan, show us how you approach a woman. Remember this is a safe, non-judgemental environment. We'll just be right off the side judging you on a scale from one to ten."she raised a notebook with a pen. Stan walked up to Soos and spat to the side. "Can I borrow some money?"he asked and Mabel blew a whistle. "This is gonna be harder than I thought."

* * *

***WITH DIPPER AND LIAM***

"So this spell is only used for distractions and for control teaching?"asked Dipper after reading the spell.

"Mhm. It teaches you to slowly put magic into it or else it might explode in your face, which isn't pleasant at all, and to bend the flame at your will."he explained and she nodded. "I think I got it. Can we try it out?"he shrugged and stood up. "Sure, it's a pretty safe spell but there is a chance of burning your eyebrows off."she walked with him a few feet away from the table before stopping.

"Ok so first step is to extend your dominant hand with your palm up, which is important because if you use the other hand you will lose control of the spell."he extended his left hand.

"I'm ambidextrous."she said.

"Then do it with whichever hand you want. It's good to be ambidextrous because then you have a better grip on the spells you do when using both of your hands."he said, nodding she extended her right hand with the palm up. "Now I want you to create a flame. You were able to create fire in the convenient store last time because you were angry but this time I want you to be calm and feel the magic inside your body. Remember: this is your first try so don't be disappointed if it doesn't work."he easily created a scarlet flame, the same one she saw on the day she met him. She closed her eyes and exhaled. Remembering the instructions from the book and the feeling she had when using the flames in the convenient store she concentrated on gathering heat in her hand. When she opened her eyes she was met with the sight of a small yellow flame in the centre of her palm.

"Nice job."praised the blond. "Your first try and you already have a flame."

"It's pretty small compared to yours."she watched the flame flicker from the wind.

"Well I do have more experience than you but you'll soon surpass me with the way things are going."he paused. "How about we practice a bit more before taking a walk around the woods?"

"Sure."

* * *

***MYSTERY SHACK***

Mabel was sitting on a chair while Stan was standing in front of her, Christina and Lilia were nowhere in sight. "Alright! Let's try to get that inner beauty on the outside. Smile harder."she said.

Stan tried to smile but it was more of a grimace. "EHHH...AGGHHH..."

The pre-teen stood up. "Harder!"he struggled more but wasn't able to do it. "Perfect!"she turned around and yelled. "Soos!"

Soos walked next to her eating a sandwich. "Sup, hambone."

"Wha'd'you think?"she asked. When he saw Stan's 'smile' Soos threw his sandwich in the air and ran out the door, leaving it to swing on its hinges. Lilia poked her head from outside and walked inside. "Where's Christina?"asked Mabel.

"She got called in."she said. "Didn't work out with the smile I'm guessing."

"This is going to take some really great training music."said Mabel holding up a CD labeled 'Training Mix', put it in a CD player and pressed play.

* * *

***WITH LIAM AND DIPPER***

They were still in the clearing with the wolves watching them and the radio quietly playing music. Dipper had a yellow flame, bigger than before, in her hand while Liam was sitting on the bench and reading a book. Dipper's clothes and hair were a little burned and her face was dirty. A few minutes later Liam put a bookmark between the pages before closing the book and putting it aside.

"I think that's enough training for one day."he stood up and she extinguished the flame. "Let's walk around the forest and get you cleaned up."

"But I haven't learned the spell yet."

"Patience. You can't just expect to learn a spell in one day. You have to rest."he raised his hand towards the books and muttered something, his hand and the books glowed red and the books shrunk until they could fit in his palm. He put them all in the basket and turned toward her.

"That's a pretty handy spell. Can it work on people, you know, just in case?"

"Yeah, it can. It's an advanced spell so I'll teach you when you're older. In the meantime you can use height altering crystals."he grabbed the basket and started walking with the pre-teen and wolves following.

She nodded, making sure to remember that. "Where are we going now?"

"Hot springs. I know some guys- well not guys, manotaurs- who have them. Don't worry they also have private ones."they walked for about an hour and a half before reaching a cave which was inhabited with minotaurs who wore white towels wrapped around their waists. Inside the cave there was a black couch, a darts board on the stone wall, a foosball table and a gong. "Hey guys!"greeted Liam and they turned towards him.

"Blood sucker!"one of the manotaurs came and enveloped him in a bone crushing hug which made her wince. "We haven't see you in years!"he said and released him. "What can we do for you?"

"Hey Chutzpar. Listen we need to borrow one of your hot springs. Dipper got a bit dirty during training."he said.

"Dipper?"the manotaur, Chutzpar, asked and looked at the girl.

"Hi."she gave a weak wave.

The manotaur frowned. "I'm sorry Blood sucker but females are not allowed here. Even if it is for you."

"Hmm. Well I guess that can't be helped."he turned to leave. "Peter will be really mad when he finds out tho."he said casually.

The manotaurs got scared. "You wouldn't tell the Hunter, would you Blood sucker?"asked Chutzpar, nervously.

"I don't have to. The moment he steps back in Gravity Falls he will learn and he will come here for you."he turned to Dipper. "Come on Dipper, let's go."the four walked towards the exits as the manotaurs turned and huddled.

"What are we gonna do now?"asked the brunette.

"Don't worry, they'll let you use the spring."he whispered.

"Blood sucker!"said loudly the monster. "After discussing with the others we agreed to let her use our hot springs."

Liam grinned. "Great! Come along Dipper."they walked past the manotaurts, towards the springs. There many springs and at the side there were curtains that hid the other ones. "You can use those ones."he reached inside the basket as the opening glowed a little and pulled out a pink fluffy towel with toiletries and gave theme to her. She looked at him confusedly and curiously. "Magic pockets. You can store things everywhere. I'm leaving the muts and the basket with you while I'm with the manotaurs. Inside you'll find clothes that are about your size; a gift from Red."he left her with the wolves and she went to take a bath.

* * *

***MYSTERY SHACK***

After giving Stan a beauty mask with cucumbers (he kept eating the cucumbers), trying to shave his hairy chest (the hair kept growing back in just seconds), making walk with books on his head, teaching him not to scratching himself, teaching him to make eye contact, putting a corset on him as to hide his stomach, continuing to shave his chest before giving up, teaching him to straighten his back and suck in his stomach, they gathered in the living room as to see the final result of all their hard work.

"Okay, Grunkle Stan. You started like this.."said Mabel, holding a before picture of Stan wearing a white tank top, a gold necklace, striped blue underwear, slippers, his glasses and fez. "But you became.. "she lowered the picture to reveal Stan even more messy with sweat marks under his armpits, his glasses were skewed, he was missing his right slipper and there was a cotton bud still in his left ear.

"Can I scratch myself now?"he asked.

"No! No, no, no! Is that throw up on your shirt?"she asked.

He glanced down. "I don't know how to answer that."she ripped the before picture with a groan.

"Face it, Mabel. Your uncle's unfixable. Like that spitting pie thing in the diner."said Lilia and Mabel grinned.

"Grunkle Stan, come with me!"she ran out the door before poking her head back inside. "And leave your pants at home!"

"With pleasure!"he followed her.

* * *

***WITH LIAM AND DIPPER***

After cleaning herself in the hot spring she pulled the basket behind the curtain as to dress. After drying and she looked at the clothes from Red and tried them on; surprisingly they fit (even the underwear). She wore a simple yellow dress with a black belt and black sandals.Her hat wasn't damaged thankfully but she decided to leave it in the basket. She went to find the blond with the wolves and found him talking with the manotaurs before he noticed her.

"You look amazing."he said.

"Thanks."she blushed lightly.

He turned to the beasts. "Well, we'll be leaving."

"Um, thanks for letting me use your hot spring."

"It's no problem. Blood sucker told who you are and we'd like to apologise about before. We didn't know that you were the Yellow wolf."Chutzpar seemed to regret his earlier attitude towards her.

"It's alright, I forgive you."they smiled at that. They said their goodbyes and left. "Where to now?"

"We're going to the Multi-bear. He has some things for me."he said. "You don't have to come but it will be a good for you to meet more of the inhabitants of the forest."they fell in a comfortable silence after that. They reached the cave where the Multi-bear lived in less than an hour (with Liam carrying her).

"What _is_ a Multi-bear?"asked Dipper when they stopped in front of the opening.

"Oh, you'll see."he said with a smirk. There was a roar from inside the cave and moments later the Multi-bear came outside. He was a large black bear with eight heads and twelve limbs. He has one main head which was surrounded by four other heads on his neck region. He had three other heads, one on his back attached to a partially formed separate body, and one in each of his two crotches. He had two sets of arms, and two sets of legs, as well as an additional, vestigial set of limbs on the partially formed body on his back. Dipper was speechless and and took a step back. "Hey Multi!"said cheerfully the half vampire.

The bear smiled. "Liam! It's good to see you again. And who is this young lady with you?"he asked.

"This is Dipper, she's the Yellow wolf."

He looked at her closer. "Ah, you certainly look the part."he turned toward the cave. "Come with me."they walked inside. They cave was like any other cave but there were bones scattered about on the floor and there was was a tape player with tapes lying laying around it. They walked deeper into the cave were there there was surprisingly light but not from another opening but from crystals that were stacked in a pile. They were mixes of red, orange and yellow and radiated heat and light. Near them was a thick quilt blanket with colourful pillows under it. Multi-bear walked towards the quilt and pulled out a small leather drawstring pouch and gave it to the blond. "There weren't many; I hope these are enough."he said as Liam opened the bag. Inside were scales of various shades of blue and green.

"That's ok, they're more than enough."he opened the basket and pulled out a metal cookie box. "From Blue."Multi-bear took the box and thanked him. "We better get going. Thanks again for the scales."

"No problem."he saw them off and returned to his cave. They walked through the woods chatting about the creatures inhabiting the forest before reaching the Mystery Shack. They said their goodbyes and Liam gave her her hat back before leaving.

* * *

***GREASY'S DINER***

Lazy Susan was hitting the pie trolley when Mabel and Stan walked in. She got off the step ladder when Mabel started talking.

"Lazy Susan. Listen: I know he's not much to look at, but you're always fixing stuff in the diner, and if you like fixing stuff, nothing can use more fixing than my Grunkle Stan! Also women live longer than men so your dating pool is smaller and you should really lower your standards."she said.

"So, Lazy Susan, what do you say?"asked Stan. Lazy Susan looked at him for a moment before leaving. Stan frowned and with Mabel headed for the door.

"Heeeeyyyy! Here's my number. Why don't you give me a call some time?"she gave him the piece of paper.

"Really?!"

"REALLY!! HAHA. Also: here's some pie. On the house. For YOU!"she put the plate down and left.

Mabel squealed and they sat down. "We did it! When are you gonna call? You wanna call now? I don't have a phone. Let's buy a phone! We can put it on a credit card. Let's get a credit card."she said.

"Mabel! Let a man enjoy his pie, huh?"he said but was also happy.

* * *

A few days later Stan was in the living room watching Tv when the phone rang. "Oh, not again!"he said.

" _Message number: 36_ "said the answering machine before playing the call. " _Hey, handsome! It's me, Lazy Susan, calling to say hi: Hi! My cats also wanted to say hi! Say hi, Donald!"_ there a meow from a cat. " _Good, Sandy, you say hi!"_ another meow. " _Mr. Cat-face, now it's your turn to say-"_ there was a furious meow. " _Mr. Cat-face!"_ she scolded. _"Well, anyway call me! Call me back!"_ she hang up.

"How do I get out of this?!"


	7. Party Time

It was the afternoon and the Mystery Shack was being decorated for a party later that evening. Soos, Wendle and Peter were decorating while the twins were sitting on a couch.

"Oh no, Mabel."said Dipper. "I-I don't feel so good. I-BBBBLLLAAAA!"she gagged, spraying silly string on her twin.

Mabel groaned. "Ohhh, Grunkle Stan, what did you feed us?! BBBBBLLLAAAA!"she also sprayed silly string. They continued to spray each other until Wendle ran up to them.

"Guys, guys, stop! Something terrible just happened!"he cried and they stared at him. He sprayed them with silly string. "BBBBLLLAAAA!"they laughed hysterically, spraying and throwing confetti at each other.

"Alright, alright! Party supplies are now off-limits."said Stan taking away the silly string cans and confetti.

"Mr. Pines, whose birthday is it again?"asked Soos, tying a party banner.

"Nobody's. Thought this party might be a good way to get kids to spend money at the Shack."he unrolled a 'Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey' game.

"Nice!"

"The young people of this town want fun; I'll smother 'em with fun!"

"Maybe comments like that are why kids **don't** go to the Mystery Shack."said Dipper, pouring Mabel some Diet Pitt Peach Cola.

"Hey, hey!"he took away the soda. "Hows about you make yourself useful and copy these flyers?"he gave her a clipboard with a pink flyer. It said 'PARTY AT THE  **MYSTERY SHACK** ; KIDS AND TEENAGERS WELCOME;  **FREE?** ' and there was a drawing of two party hats and a deer.

"Oh boy, a trip to the copier store!"said Mabel.

"Calendars, mugs, t-shirts and more! They got it all at the copier store! That's not their slogan, I just really feel that way about the copier store."said Soos.

"Save the trouble. You know the old copier in my office? I finally fixed the old girl up! Good as new!"said Stan. The girls went to their Grunkle's office where the copier was covered with a sheet. Dipper removed it to reveal the old, busted up machine as several moths flew around it.

Mabel gasped. "Butterflies!"

Dipper lifted the lid up. "Does it even work?"she pressed a button and rested her forearm on it while reading the flyer. The copier turned on and made a copy of her arm with a puff of black smoke. The twins coughed and Mabel picked up the copy. "Success!"the paper suddenly rippled, causing her to drop it. The picture of Dipper's arm came to life and started crawling toward them."AH!"

"Stay back!"Dipper threw Mabel's soda at it, disintegrating it. "Oh my gosh! Mabel, I think this copier can copy human beings!"

"Do you realize what this means?"asked Mabel and Dipper didn't respond. "BBBBLLLAAAA!!"she sprayed her with silly string.

* * *

After making copies they returned back to the room where the party would be held.

"Alright party people."said Stan holding a clipboard. "Let's talk business. Soos, because you'll work for free, and you begged, I'm lettin' you be DJ."

"You won't regret it, Mr. Pines. I got this book to teach me how to DJ R-R-Right!"he held up said book.

"Not encouraging."he turned to the redhead. "Wendle, you and Mabel will work at the ticket stand."

"What? But Grunkle Stan, this party is my chance to make new friends!"complained Mabel. Dipper was about to volunteer to take her place, thinking that this was the perfect way for her and the teen to be alone, when she felt someone squeez her shoulder. She looked up and was met with Peter's disapproving look, as if he could read her mind. She stayed silent while her twin complained.

"Dipper."her grunkle said. "You'll be the hostess. And Peter...you don't actually work here so you can do whatever you want."

* * *

It was minutes before the party would begin and Mabel was in front of the mirror in her shared bedroom getting ready. She wore a dark grey sweater with a lightning bolt on it, a dark green skirt, a dark green headband, sneakers and a bow.

"What's wrong with you?"asked Dipper walking in.

She sighed and looked at her reflection. "I wanted to be at the party and make friends."

Dipper frowned, feeling guilty. "Mabel."said Peter from the door. He was wearing a red dress shirt with the top buttons undone, black slacks and black dress shoes. "You're supposed to be at the ticket booth in 5."

"See you later Dipper. Have fun."she left the room and Peter walked in.

"Here."he gave her a shopping bag. "Some clothes for the party."

"What's wrong with the clothes I'm wearing."she crossed her arms and Peter scrunched up his nose.

"They aren't exactly for a party."he turned towards the door. "I'll be outside when you're ready."he closed the door.

* * *

After putting on the clothes she exited the room where the young adult was waiting for her in the hallway. He looked her up and down and nodded. "That's better."she was wearing a jean shirt, a white skirt, a big brown leather belt, brown chucks and her hat. "Now let's go; the party can't start without it's hostess."he gave her a toothy grin. They walked to through the curtain and found themselves on top of the stairs with the party going on. Stan soon joined them and leaned on the railing.

"Can your uncle throw a party or what?"he asked. He wasn't wearing his usual suit but instead a white dress shirt, brown slack and brown dress shoes.

"Not bad Mr.Pines."said Peter.

"The energy, it's electric! Uhh, lightning, lightning, lightning, lightning..."said Soos as he pressed several buttons on the sound machine, making various noises but not the one he needed.

"And if anyone wants to leave, I'm charging an exit fee of 15 bucks!"

Lee and Natalia, who were close to them, shoved their hands in their pockets and took out all the money they had. "We've only got 13!"said panicky Natalia.

"We're trapped!"exclaimed Lee and started banging on the window for help.

Peter was looking at the sea of faces and smirked when he saw a familiar one. "Dipper, come with me."he walked down the stairs towards a dancing guy, who had his back turned towards the brunette. Peter leaned towards him, his face near the guy's ear and gentle blew. The guy spun around while taking a step back.

"Peter! Don't do that!"said Liam, covering his ear and blushing.

Peter laughed at the blond. "I can't help it! You're cute when you blush."that only made the halfa blush more. "So...how's training?"he asked them.

"It's going well. Dipper already learned the **_Phoenix spell_** in record time and is now learning a levitation spell."explained the blond grabbing a cup of Pitt Cola.

"Really?"Peter raised an eyebrow at her but was smiling. "You just started and you're already moving onto the next spell. Nice job, kid."

Dipper blushed at the complement. "Well, uh, you know, it's easy once you learn not to put too much power into it."

"I guess I should start teaching you about your family tree then."he said.

"Remember dudes,"said Soos reading from his book. "whoever, um, party hardies, what? Gets the party crown!"he held up an ornate crown, decorated with purple jewels. "Most applause at the end of the night wins!"

"You should compete."said Peter as a blond girl with her two friends behind her walked up to Soos.

"And embarrass myself. No thanks."said Dipper, crossing her arms.

"I can't just give you the crown. It's sort of a competition thing."said Soos to the girl, gaining their attention.

She laughed and picked up the microphone. "Honestly, who's gonna compete against me? Fork girl?"she pointed to a raven haired girl with glasses. "Lizard lady?"she pointed to the auburn haired girl next to her who had a lizard on her shoulder and laughed.

Dipper fisted her hands and Peter smirked. "Come on. Go knock that bitch down a peg or two; I know you want to."she glanced at him for a second before walking towards Soos.

"I'll compete."she said and turned to the girl. "I'm Dipper."

"Is that your real name?"she asked mockingly. 

"It's as real as your hair color."she replied. Around them people oohed and muttered to each other about her comment.

The blond was shocked but recovered quickly. "It is real."she glared. "May the better partier win."she walked away with his friends.

"Nice comeback, kid."said Peter.

Dipper quickly realized what she did and paled. "Oh man, what have I done?! I can't sing in front of these people, I'll mess up!"she panicked.

"Hey, hey! Dipper look at me."Liam grabbed her shoulders. "You're not gonna mess up. You'll do just fine."he smiled reassuringly at her. She looked at him and smiled.

"Now show us your dance moves."said the brunette.

* * *

Outside Mabel and Wendle were selling tickets to a much larger than a minute ago crowd.

"Whoa! Sounds like the party's getting nuts."said the teen, looking through the window. Mabel also looked through the window but with a frown.

"Let the battle for the party crown begin!"said Soos from inside.

"I gotta get in there!"said Mabel.

"Yeah, me too. Too bad we can't be in two places at once."said the redhead turning toward the crowd. Mabel frown for a moment before getting an idea.

"We can! Cover me!"she told him before running off. She went to her grunkle's office and laid onto the copy machine. She pressed copy and the machine scanned her, the paper with her copy gentle fell on the ground. The paper rippled after a moment and her clone came to life with a cheerful 'Hello!'. Mabel grinned and hopped off the machine as to have a closer look at her clone. Her clone looked just like except her sweater didn't have a lightning bolt.

"Hi! I need you to work in the ticket booth while I party. Oh, and tell Wendle to come here."she told her clone. The clone nodded and set off to do its task. Minutes later the redhead walked in the office.

"Woah, Mabel! I just saw you outside."he said, confused.

"I know! Lie down on the copy machine and we can make you a copy to work in the ticket booth."she said while pushing him towards the machine. The teen was confused but laid on the machine as the pre-teen made a copy. Wendle got off the machine just as his clone came to life.

"Sup."the clone made a lazy wave and the teen was shocked.

"No way."he circled it. "You look just like me."

"And he can work in the booth while we party."said Mabel.

"Alright. Clone me, you know what to do."the clone gave a salute and left the room. Moments later they also left, making sure to avoid Stan and went to the party.

"Woah."was all that Wendle said as they descended down the stairs. 

"What the hell are you doing here?"they turned around and were met with an annoyed Peter. "Shouldn't you be outside?"

"We had someone cover for us."said calmly Wendle. When Peter turned to look through the window the redhead blocked his view.

Peter snorted. "Watch it, Corduroy. I could have you fired in less than a second with the favours Stan owes me; you too Pines."he turned and left them.

"Hey Wendle."said Robin as she walked towards him. "Check out my new guitar."she played some sick notes.

"Whoa, cool!"he said. "I'm gonna leave you two alone."said Mabel and walked towards some chairs. She sat down and saw a lizard on a girl's shoulder. "Wow! You've got an animal on your body! I'm Mabel."

"Hi, I'm Grenda."she said. Grenda was a large girl with light-skin, auburn colored hair and a ponytail. She was wearing a pink shirt that reads 'COOL', purple shorts, white socks and pink and purple sneakers. She also has a red mark on the right side of her cheek and a yellow barrette on the hair on the right side of her head. "This is Candy."she gestured to the girl next to her. Candy had straight, black waist-length hair and wore round glasses with black rims, a striped jade shirt, a skirt, white socks, black shoes and black stud earrings. She waved at her with the hand that had forks tapped onto it.

"Why do have forks taped to your fingers?"asked Mabel. Candy put her hand into Grenda's bowl of popcorn and when she pulled it out each finger had some popcorn on it. " Improvement of human being."

"I've found my people!"

* * *

" _Always means forever_

 _ALWAAAAAYYYSS!_  "the blond haired girl sang; her voice so high that it broke a plastic cup. _"_ _Forever._ "

"Man what an awful voice!"complained Peter.

"Pacifica pulls ahead!"said Soos.

"Try and top that!"she gave Dipper the microphone and walked away.

"...I can't top **that**!"she said.

"Don't worry. I gave Soos a song that you know, you just go and sing your heart out."said Liam pushing her towards the stage and the crowed cheered. She looked at the crowed before looking at the two teens who were giving her thumbs up. Soos started a song that she recognised and grinned, tapping her foot with the beat.

" _Hold on cause I'm letting go_  
_I'm gonna lasso your heart like a rodeo_  
_I'm gonna give you some till you want some more_  
_Cause all I see is an open door_  
_And I see where it's leading me_  
_All of this energy been bottled up way too long_  
_It's powerful, powerful_  
_You see what I'm getting at_  
_I'm ready for all of that_  
_If I'm not a star, you're blind "_

"I didn't know that Dipper could sing."said Wendle.

"Neither did I."said Mabel.

"Are you related to that girl?"asked Grenda.

"She's my twin."

The crowd cheered and dance as she sang and Dipper even got bold enough to jump off the stage and made a finger gun at some of the partiers.

" _I'm climbing high but there ain't no net_  
_You'd like to see me jump a bit_  
_Well everyday's just like Russian Roulette_  
_I'm gonna play, play, play with no regrets_ "

She saw where Pacifica was and walked up to her. " _I'm crushing them in my fist_  
_Hushing their ignorance_  
_You had your chance, now's mine_ "they cheered even more at that.

"Who's that?"asked Mabel.

"The most popular girl in town, Pacifica Northwest."explained Candy.

"I always feel bad about myself around her."said Grenda.

" _I've got high heel stilettos_  
_And I'm kicking in doors_  
_And kissing your feet ain't what my lipstick's for_ "sang Dipper and walked away from the blond, letting her glare at her back. She sang the chorus before ending the song, panting and with a big smile as the crowed cheered.

"Nice job, Dipper!"said Liam.

"Thanks. How did you know that I liked that song?"

"Peter told me."

"Now we're gonna bring it down for a minute. Ladies, dudes, now's the time."Soos said as he put on a slow song.

Peter smirked and poked Dipper."Now's you chance to dance with your redhead prince charming."she blushed at that and looked at Wendle, who was sitting on a couch with Robin.

"Can't. Robin's there."the young adult looked at the raven haired teen before walking up to Soos and whispering something in his ear.

"Dudes, would the owner of a silver and red dirt bike please report outside. It is being stolen right now."he announced and Robin quickly ran out the door.

"I guess you can dance with him now."said Liam. The pre-teen shook her head and went to Wendle.

"How 'bout a dance, Blood?"asked Peter and Liam blushed.

"You do realize I am dating your sister."Peter shrugged, grabbing the halfa's hand he twirled him before wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him so that they were touching chests. "I know."he purred, his breath tickling Liam's lips and started gently swaying them. Liam smiled softly and wrapped his arms around Peter's neck.

"Hey Wendle."the pre-teen sat down on the couch.

"Hey Dipper. Nice song, right?"

"Oh, yeah, sure."she realised something. "Shouldn't you be selling tickets?"

He glanced around. "I got someone to cover me but don't tell Stan."

"I won't."she looked at her shoes for a moment before looking at all the people who were dancing. She spotted Liam and Peter and smiled. "Would you like to dance?"

"Hmm? Sure."they went to the dance floor and started dancing, a bit awkwardly. Soon the song ended. "You wanna get something to drink?"she nodded. Grabbing some Pitt Cola they went to a hallway as to talk. "So hey, let's say everyone at this party gets stuck on a desert island. Who do you think the leader would be?"he asked.

"I dunno."

"I think I'd go with this lunatic."he pointed to a short, sweaty guy dancing.

She giggled. "I think that Peter will be the leader and...Liam will be consult."

"Why those two?"

"Well...Peter is really strong and he strikes me as a guy who knows what to do to survive. And Liam is smart and he could help Peter with some decisions."he nodded at her reasoning.

"Good thinking."he drank from his plastic cup. "Wanna see something?"he pulled out his wallet where he had a photo with his thumb over someone. "Those are my brothers, and I'm,"he lifted his thumb to show a younger lanky version of himself with braces. "boooop."

"Ha, you were a freak!"she slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Yep."he agreed.

She rubbed her neck. "You know, kids used to make fun of my birthmark before I started hiding it all the time."

"Birthmark?"he raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, no! It's nothing! I-I was-I wa–why did I say that?"she groaned.

"No way, dude! Now you have to show me! Show me, show me!"she drank from her cup before giving it to him. Taking a deep breath she took off her hat and lifted her bangs to reveal a Big Dipper-like birthmark.

"The Big Dipper! That's how you got your nickname! I thought your parents just hated you or something. Hey, I guess we're both freaks."he returned her drink and they both clinked cups. Pacifica exited the bathroom and Wendle went inside.

"There you are lover girl."said Peter as he walked up to her. "They'll be announcing the winner for the crown soon."

"One more song, dudes, and then it's time for the bestowing of the party crown. It's gonna be the– "called Soos and played an explosion sound. "Nailed it."

"Ready to take the crown?"he asked.

She grinned. "Can't wait."they walked to the back to the party and sat on a couch with the half vampire already being there. "How was your dance?"she asked and Liam blushed.

"Pretty nice."answered Peter. "What about yours?"

"Bit awkward."was her answer.

"Let the party crown voting commence!"said Soos and they went to the stage but not before Liam took off her hat.

"Good luck, **Dipper**."said sarcastically Pacifica.

"Right back at you."shot back Dipper.

"Applaud to vote for Dipper."the crowd cheered loudly. "Let's check the applause meter."Soos raised his hand high. "Oh, oh, very good."she smiled.

"And the next contestant: Pacifica."the crowd cheered quietly. Seeing that the blond glared and people started to applaud but Peter also glared and they stopped, more afraid from the man who has gone to prison than a little girl. Soos barely raised his hand. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. The winner of the contest, is Dipper Pines."he put the crown on her head and the crowd cheered. Dipper smiled and walked over to the two teens.

"Told you you'd win."said Liam and handed her hat back as people left.

"Soos! Play another song! This thing's going all night!"yelled Mabel.

"Way ahead of you, hambone."he played a song and Mabel, Candy and Grenda started to dance.

"Are you leaving already?"asked Dipper, seeing Peter walk to the exit.

"Nah, there's just some stuff I have to do outside and I'll be back."he exited. the pre-teen and the halfa looked at each other, shrugged and started to also dance.

* * *

Outside Peter was dragging a gagged and tied up Mabel and Wendle deeper into the forest. He stopped once they were a good distance away from the shack. "I'm sure you understand but there can't be more than one Mabel and one Wendle."he turned his back to them and pulled two buckets, filled to the brim with water, from some bushes. They started to fight their restrains more once they saw the water. Peter put down one of the buckets as to have a better grip on the other and walked to Wendle. "Goodbye."he gently tipped the bucket as water fell on Wendle, disintegrating him. Mabel choked on her gag as the clone became nothing but a puddle. "Now's your turn."he did the same to her before walking back to the shack to continue partying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Dipper sang is 'Run this town' by Lucy Hale.


	8. Irrational Treasure

The twins were eating nachos in their grunkle's car as he honked the horn. Mabel attached nachos from her chips bag to her ears and grinned. "Haha! Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious!"

"That's debatable. Aw, come on, what's with all this traffic? And why is it all.."Stan squinted his eyes. "..covered wagons? Oh no! No! No!"he pushed the gas pedal hard and made a sharp turn to the right. "Not today! Not today!"he quickly hit the breaks when he almost ran over three women. He looked back and drove backwards.

"Grunkle Stan, what's going on?"asked uneasily Dipper.

"We gotta get outta here. Before it's too late!"he stopped again. "They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! Nooooooooo!"he screamed as wagons circled around their car. Mabel looked out the window and saw a brown cow. "I've gotta good feeling about today."

Once the wagons went away the twin got out the car and walked around. "Man. Look at the town."Dipper held up a Gravity Falls postcard for a second and when she lowered it the town was in a sepia shade but it was due to a pane of dirty glass.

"Dirty glass. We got dirty glass! Dirty glass."walked by worker, holding one of the sides of the pane.

"Ah, boy. It's Pioneer Day. Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded."said their grunkle when he joined them.

"Welcome to 1863!"said Toby Determined, holding newspapers.

Stan rolled up his sleeve and shook his fist. "I will **break** you, little man!" Toby ran away from the annoyed grunkle and crashed into a barrel because he wasn't looking.

"Wow! Look! Candle dipping!"exclaimed Mabel as an old woman demonstrated how to make candles to some young girls.

"Whoa, gold panning!"said Dipper as Old Man McGucket was gold panning.

"I now pronounce you man and wife."said a priest to a man and a woodpecker. The bird pecked the man's hand. "I do!"said the man.

"What chu talking 'bout?"tilted her head Mabel.

"Back in the day it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers. Weirdos."said an annoyed Peter as he walked up to them and Dipper greeted him.

"Oh, it's still legal."the newlywed man put a hand on his shoulder where the woodpecker was perched. " **Very** legal."he walked away.

"Creep."sneered Peter and a man announced that the opening ceremonies were about to begin.

"Grunkle Stan, you coming?"asked Mabel, turning to the senior.

"No, thank you! Just remember if you come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me."he warned.

"There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!"said Dipper.

"Well hornswabber my haversack!"said Mabel. They both spat on the ground before running off laughing.

"Dead to me!"yelled Stan. Peter groaned and followed after the twins but in a slower pace. They ran to a crowd that had assembled around a large stage.

"Here-ye, here-ye! Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence."said sheriff Blubs.

"Woo! I got a bell!"said deputy Durland while ringing said bell.

"Oh, no! Police, my purse!"cried out an old woman whose purse just got stolen.

"Ring ring! Ring ring! Woo!"continued to ring his bell Durland.

Sheriff Blubs chucked. "He sure loves his bell."

The twins and Peter walked to the front of the crowd just as Pacifica, who was wearing a pioneer styled blue dress with opossum fur hat, started talking into the microphone. "Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest."she put her right foot on a rock as to look like her grandfather's statue. "I'm also very rich. "the crowd applauded her. "Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you come on up and introduce yourself."

Mabel gasped. "Audience participation!"

"I don't know Mabel."said Peter. "You and Dipper look alike and she might mistake you for her. She isn't exactly friends with Dipper after that singing contest."

"Pfft. We don't look that much alike."she said before running onstage.

"Our first newcomer is..."the blond glared at Mabel, mistaking her for Dipper. "...Dipper."

"Ye-wait, what? No, I'm Mabel."she corrected before continuing. "Now, let's get this Pioneer Day started!"she blew a raspberry. "Right guys? USA! USA!"the crowd started to chant 'USA! USA!' and even one of the spectators started to cry tears of joy.

"I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous."Pacifica looked at Mabel's sweater. "I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly?"

Mabel clenched her sweater as to hide the design. "Hey, I can be serious!"she tried to glare but it was more like puffing her cheeks.

"You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hon."Mabel touched her nacho earrings and blushed in embarrassment. "Haha, wow, I'm embarrassed for you."Pacifica turned to the audience. "Give her a hand everybody!"the crowd clapped their hands. Mabel walked off the stage as Pacifica asked. "Now who wants to hear more about **me**?"

Dipper made his way to Mabel with Peter hot on her heels. They found her sitting on the steps of the Nataniel Northwest's monument. "You ok, kid?"asked Peter. She sighed. "I need some old-timey butterscotch."

* * *

Stan had his car stuck in the mud and was trying to get it out as a man with a donkey walked by him. "Hey there, uh, donkey boy! Give me a hand with my car, huh?"asked Stan.

"Here in 1863, I have never heard-tell of a 'car'. Pray-tell, what is this magic wheel box?"the man asked, poking it with a crowbar.

"Ah, c'mon, Steve, you're a mechanic for Pete's sake! Cut me some slack."

"'Slack?' I am unfamiliar with this **bold** , new expression."the man, Steve, continued to play dumb which angered the elder Pines.

"I can't take this anymore!"Stan grabbed Steve by the collar and shook him. "I'm getting dumber every second I'm here!"

Blubs and Durland ran up to Stan. "Are we gonna have to intervene here?" 

"Oh, look. The 'Constable'. What are you gonna do? Throw me in 'ye stocks'?"laughed Stan in their faces; moments later he found himself in a pillory. "Aw, c'mon!"he groaned. He saw how Gideon Gleeful walking by holding a bag of tomatoes and wearing a old fashioned nobleman attire. "Hey, nice outfit, Gideon. You actually look **less** girly than usual."

"Why, Stanford. I'm just a humble tomato farmer, selling his wares. Whoops, I dropped one."he threw a tomato in his left eye. "Whoops, I dropped another one."he threw another one in his right eye.

"Ugh! PIONEER DAY!"screamed Stan at the sky.

* * *

"Dipper, Peter, can I ask you guys something? Do you think I'm silly?"asked Mabel looking them in the eye.

"No comment."said crossly Peter.

"Uh, nnnoooo?"was Dipper's answer.

Mabel groaned. "I knew it! The nacho earrings, the sweater. I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke."she threw off her nacho earrings and took off her sweater, tying it around her waist.

"C'mon, Mabel, you love that sweater!"said Dipper.

"I did before Pacifica ruined it for me. She ruins everything!"she sulked.

"Pacifica!"Dipper stood up and glared at the statue of Nathaniel Northwest. "Why does she think that being related to the town founder means she can treat everyone like garbage."

"...We could solve the code that would lead us to the truth about Nathaniel Northwest not being the founder of Gravity Falls."said off-handedly Peter.

"What!?"exclaimed the twins. "There's a chance that Pacifica's family is a fraud?"asked Dipper and got a nod in response. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Because if you haven't noticed I'm not having a good day."he snapped and they flinched. He sighed, pulled out a folded piece of paper and gave it to Dipper. "Here's the code."she unfolded it to reveal a complex series of letters, symbols and words. "If you solve it this you could reveal a major conspiracy."

"Really?"asked Mabel.

"I got to investigate this!"said Dipper.

"Wait! I'm coming with you. Conspiracies are serious, right?"

"Definitely."said Peter standing up.

"Well, if I help you crack this code, then nobody could call me silly again!"

"What are we waiting for then? Let's go to the library."said Peter, eyeing the monument. "Or someone might beat us to it."he made eye contact with Dipper and she nodded, understanding what he meant by that. They quickly left and Peter would glance behind every few minutes. Behind the statue were eavesdropping sheriff Blubs, deputy Durland and Christina. THe sheriff pulled out his walkei-talkie. "This is Sheriff Blubs. We've got a code sepia!"

" _What?! And what are you doing about it?_ "

"I'm following them right now."

" _Find them and stop them. There's no room for error._ "

"I understand. Blubs out."he turned to Durland and Christina. "Deputy Durland, Christina, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. Are you ready?"

"I'm ready."said the brunette.

"Woo!"rang his bell Durland.

"Hehe, if being delightful was crime, you'd be breaking the law."chuckled Blubs.

"Let's go get 'em!"

* * *

Peter, Dipper and Mabel were in a secluded corner of the Gravity Falls library trying to solve the code. Well, more like, Dipper and Mabel were trying to solve the code while Peter was reading a book called _**'** **H** **ow to Be a Person: The Stranger’s guide to College, Sex, Intoxicants, Tacos and Life Itself'**_   with a frown.

"Alright, Mabel, if we can prove Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it will finally put Pacifica in her place."said Dipper.

"And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly. I'm serious."she held up a random book and lapped up candy from the table into her mouth with her tongue. "Seeeeriousss..."

Dipper put some slides in a projector. "We just need to crack this code. Let me see... it's not Egyptian, it's not numerology, it's not, wait-of course! The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message!"

"It's so obvious!"said Mabel.

Dipper grabbed a lit candle. "Alright, let's just light this sucker up and-Mabel!"

Mabel was wearing a paper hat made of the document. "Mwop! I just made a hat. Ugh, I just did something silly again."she blew a raspberry.

"Wait, Mabel. You folded it into a map!"she looked at the candle. "And I was gonna **burn** it..."

"Get down!"whispered harshly Peter as he hid under the table.

"What's the matter?"asked Dipper once she and Mabel were under the table.

"Cops."was all he said. They followed his gaze and saw that at the entrance to the library were the sheriff, deputy and Christina. The teen met their eyes and grimaced. She glanced at the two men with her who were talking with a librarian before meeting their eyes again and making a shoo motion with her hand. Peter shook his head, making a walking motion with his hand, pointed to the door behind her and holding up one finger. She made a thin line with her lips before giving a short nod. Christina turned to the cops, pointed somewhere and told them something to which after they started running in that direction. She looked at them again before following. "Let's go."Peter stood up and ran out the entrance with the twins. "Where to now?"

"This map should lead us to..."Mabel looked at the map. "...The Gravity Falls Museum of History."

* * *

"...And here are your free Pioneer Day passes, and your balloons, one blue and two pinks."handed them the balloons a woman named Sue. Peter thanked her with a smile and they walked inside.

"What are we gonna do next, steal Thomas Jefferson's rib cage?"asked Mabel.

"Ewww, no."said Dipper. "According to the map, the next clue about the real town founder should be right... here!"she stopped in front a triangular exhibition piece mounted on the wall.

"Let's figure this one out quickly."said Peter. "Christina's diversion won't last forever."

"I've been meaning to ask you that; why is she helping us?"asked Dipper as she analyzed the exhibit.

"Let's just say she owes me more than one favour."

Mabel walked over to a bench and sits down. "Hey painting, be less stupid!"she turned upside-down on the bench and gasped. "It worked!"

"What?"Dipper ran over and laid upside-down on the bench. When looking at the painting upside-down it revealed to be an angel pointing. "Wait! It's not abstract, it's upside-down!"

"I think I've seen that statue at the cemetery."

"Let's go! Quick!"they stood up but got dizzy and Peter grabbed their shoulders before they could fall.

"I'm sorry, but we're all out of pink balloons."said the woman from before and the young adult looked back.

 "Why did we even come?"asked disappointedly Durland.

 _"Officer Blubs."_ said a man over the sheriff's walkie-talkie. The cops ran into the museum so they were out of earshot. The girls luckily weren't dizzy anymore so they ran out of the museum with Blubs calling after them. Blubs and Durland tried to chase after them but got stuck at the door with Christina still inside.

* * *

Stan was trying to unlock the lock of the stocks with a hairpin in his mouth. "C'mon!  C'mon, ugh!"he dropped the hairpin. A hand picked up the pin. "Well, if it isn't Dipper and Mabel's uncle, Mr. Pines. Looking for this?"Pacifica held up the pin.

"Yeah, yeah. What d' ya want, money?"he rolled his eyes.

"I want you to say that the Northwest family is the best family in Gravity Falls."she said smugly.

"Oh sure, you want that in writing?"she gave him a pen, which he took with his mouth, and held up a notebook as he wrote something. "There you go."she looked at what he wrote which read 'YOU STINK!'. "Ha! I did that with my mouth!"Pacifica whistled, catching the attention of people with tomatoes and pointed at Stan. "Aw, come on!"was what he said before being hit with tomatoes.

* * *

The trio were in the cemetery looking at the angel statue pointing off in the distance. "Ah... The statue must be pointing to the next clue."Dipper looked in direction statue was pointing but then turned back when Mabel spook up. She had put the statue's finger in her nose and Peter was looking at her in disgust. "Oh, gross! She's picking my nose!"she laughed. The tip of the finger bended upwards and a secret door in the grave opened.

"Mabel, look!"said Dipper and Peter walked closer to the entrance. "Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica? Bam!"she tried to jump down from statue but her nose was still there so the finger tugged on her nose. "Ahh! Ow. Ow. Ow."she cried out in pain. Peter rolled his eyes and got her off the statue. "Thanks."

They descended down the stairs, Peter's flashlight the only source of light the further down they went. "Now we're getting into real conspiracy mode. I feel serious. Mmm."Mabel ate a candy and threw the wrapper over her shoulder. "Okay, look out for booby traps."warned her twin and she laughed. While laughing Mabel accidentally stepped on a raised tile that triggered a bunch of darts to fly out of the wall towards them. "Tranquilizer darts!"Dipper grabbed her sister's hand and ran, maneuvering through them with Peter close behind yelling. "What did we say about traps?!"

They were able to dodge the darts but tripped over a rock and fell down a tunnel which lead to an underground hiding place filled with historical items. "It's a treasure trove of historic-y, secret-y things."Mabel picked up a top-secret document. The first page was about the secret of Abraham Lincoln's hat, and showed a picture of Lincoln in his top hat in one picture and him without his top hat with a hand sticking out of the top of his head, in the other. Mabel looked at the next page, where there was a picture of Benjamin Franklin wearing earrings, and the sub-caption says that he was secretly a woman. "Oh, man! Ben Franklin secretly  **was**  a woman!"

Dipper was looking around and found a document titled ' ** _Northwest_ _Cover-up_** '. "Hey, jackpot! Now we'll find out who the real town founder was."Peter and Mabel walked up to her as she read. " _"Let it be here recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was, in fact, a fraud...as well as a waste-shoveling village_ **idiot** _"_?"she laughed. "Oh, bad news for Pacifica. Wait till the papers hear about this!"

"Once people see that I uncovered a historical conspiracy, they can never call me silly!"

Peter read on. " _"The true founder of Gravity Falls was sir lord, Quentin Trembley, III, Esquire."_."he paused. "Who the fuck is **that**?!"

" **That's**  none of your business!"sheriff Blubs said. "And it's not good to swear in front of children."

"Whoo! We gotcha! Whoo!"Durland said before repeating weakly."Whoo! Hmm whoo-hoo."he passed out, falling on his face. Several tranquilizer darts were sticking out of his back.

"...He got hit with quite a few of the darts."said Christina, not meeting Peter's eyes.

* * *

"But Quentin Trembley's a matter of national security."said Blubs.

"Yeah! Ye-ah,"Durland panted, putting his hands on his knees. "woo. I think I might be colorblind now."

"What do you mean, 'national security?'"asked Dipper.

"And who is Quentin Trembley, anyway?"asked Mabel.

"See for yourself."Blubs removed hat and took out a reel of film. He put it into a projector and the projection screen showed a countdown in black and white.

"Aww, it's black and white?!"whined Mabel and Dipper quickly shushed her.

Reel started, revealing a government official in an office.  _"If you're watching this, then you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete."_ he looked offscreen.  _" --What? No? Ho! Well, that's a relief!"_ he looked back at the camera.  _"Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembley: The eighth-and-a-half president of the United States."_ they showed a framed opal picture of a man with a long nose, sideburns that connected with his mustache and a very small pair of spectacles rested atop his nose.

"President?"asked in unison the twins, and even Peter arched an eyebrow. "Eighth-and-a-half?"

 _"After winning the 1837 election in a landslide,"_ on the video, a picture of Quentin Trembley standing next to the other presidential candidates is shown. Then another where a landslide kills the other candidates and Quentin Trembley cheering.  _"Quentin Trembley quickly gained a reputation as America's silliest president._ _He waged war on pancakes, appointed six babies to the supreme court, and issued the de-pants-ipation proclamation. His state of the union speech was even worse._ _"_ the video showed a cassette player with a reenacted recording of Trembley's voice. "The only thing we have to fear is gigantic, man-eating spiders!"

The government official continued.  _"He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls, after plummeting into it at high_ _speed."_ a picture of Trembley riding a horse backwards was shown. _"Trembley's shameful term was erased from history and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as President and local nobody Nathaniel Northwest as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of president Trembley's body are unknown."_

"Until now."said the sheriff gesture to Quentin Trembley, who was encased in an amber-colored rectangle.

"Is that amber?"asked Peter.

"The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle. Smooth move, Mr. President! Finding Trembley's body was our special mission. And now, thanks to you, it's complete."

"Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl's"the deputy held up one of Mabel's candy wrappers. "trail of candy wrappers?"

"Ugh, silly!"Mabel face-palmed and Peter glared at her.

"Now that you know the truth, well, we can't let you go around talkin' about it."said Blubs.

"Does that mean--?"started Dipper and Mabel continued. "Are you going to kill us?!"Peter quickly stood in front of the sisters.

"WHAT?!"screeched Christina, whom was quiet until now.

"No, no."assured Blubs. "We're just gonna escort you and all this stuff back to Washington. You ain't comin' back, by the way."

* * *

Dipper, Mabel and Peter were trapped in a crate with Quentin Trembley's body on a train headed for Washington. "Anyone there?! Help help help!"called out Mabel.

"Hey! Let us out!"yelled Dipper, banging on the wood. Peter was hitting it with his shoulder but it was a fruitless effort.

"Oh. I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers. This is all my fault."said Mabel.

"You can say that again."snorted Peter, looking for a way out.

"Pacifica had me pegged all along. I'm just a silly failure, like that embarrassing president what's-his-name."she ate a piece of peanut brittle, breaking the block and freeing the president.

"It is I, Quentin Trembley."the man ripped his pants off leaving him in his underwear.

"How the heck are you alive?"asked Peter looking him over.

"Peanut brittle really  **does**  have life-sustaining properties! You're not silly, you're brilliant!"said Mabel.

"And so are you, dear girl, for following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb!"

"He's right! Making maps into hats, hanging upside-down; Your silliness solved the code that serious cops couldn't crack in a hundred years!"praised her twin.

"By Jefferson! We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box."said the old president. "It's a crate, Mr. President."said Mabel. Trembley pulled out a key from his pocket. "Good thing I have the President's Key, which can open any lock in America!"he started to repeatedly slam the key at the side of the crate.

"That's not gonna work."stated Peter, already annoyed again.

"Wood! My age-old enemy. In order to get out of here, this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived."

Dipper smiled, looking at her sister. "I think I know who can help you."

"Hmm. How 'bout... that hole?"she pointed at a tiny hole at the corner. "We will leap  **through**  it!"they both leaped at the hole, trying to go through it. Peter growled and Dipper raised an eyebrow at that.

"What's up with you?"she stood next to him. "Nothing."he said, glaring at Mabel and Trembley. The pre-teen frowned. "You've been annoyed all day, that can't be nothing."he looked at her from the corner of his eye. They were silent for a moment before he spoke. "I saw Liam today."she didn't say anything and he continued. "He was with Lilia."he spat the name like it was venom despite it being his sister's name. "And? They're a couple, it's normal for them to be together."she reasoned and Peter's frown deepened. "...I don't like it."she was about to ask him why when the crate fell apart.

"Well, we didn't fit through the hole. Let's rebuild the box and try again!"said Trembley but Dipper quickly shot down that idea. "We gotta get out of here!"

"Also good!"they open a door leading to the next compartment and see Christina, getting ice. She sees them and panics. Looking back towards a door she grimaces. "Use the ladder to the roof, you got five minutes."she quickly said and slammed the door at their faces. They run to the other side and climb up a ladder to the emergency escape. Trembley pulled out his key and started pressing it against the door even though there was no lock. "Give me that!"Dipper took the key away from him, turned the handle and they all ran out on the roof.

"What now?"yelled Mabel over the wind, her hair flipping around and lightly hitting her. Soon after the policemen and woman came out the escape.

"There..is..no..escape! I gotta take a knee."said Blubs, trying to catch his breath from the running. "Are you okay? Can I get you anything?"asked a worried Durland and Blubs smiled at him. "Edwin, darlin', you are a diamond in the rough."

"Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?"yelled Dipper. There wasn't anyway out, unless they wanted to jump from a moving train and be severely injured.

"I've got no choice! Our orders come from the very top!"yelled the sheriff and Peter got idea. Turning to the two centuries old president he asked. "Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation?"

"No, sir. I ate a salamander and jumped out the window."he said completely serious.

The brunette smirked. "Then technically you're still legally the President of the United States." he turned to the police. "You've gotta answer to  **this**  guy now!"

The policemen were bewildered while Christina grinned. "As president of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened. And- and go on a delightful vacation."the president said and got hit by a metal rail as the train went by. "Ow! Mmm yeeees!"

"Vacation?"Blubs turned to his partner. "What place have you always wanted to visit? One, two-"

"Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan!"they said in unison.

* * *

Blubs and Durland were wearing hawaiian shirts and waving at the group they were to arrest and colleague as the train departed. Once the train was gone Quentin got on his knee and looked at Mabel. "You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U.S. congressman"he took out and unfolded a hat, placing it on the girl's head gently.

"I'm legalizing everything!"she said. "Fuck yeah!"grinned Peter, already making plans for what he will do after parting with the others.

"And Rosalynn."he said to Dipper.

"It's Dipper."she corrected quickly.

"You dear girl are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land. So I'd like you to have my President's Key!"he gave her the key he had 'used' multiple times before. "And, finally, Philip..."he began.

"Peter."

"For your feisty nature I'm giving you a Colt Revolver."he gave him said gun. "You'll have a lot more use of it than I would."

* * *

The group, minus Christina as she had to pack for her vacation, were back at Gravity Falls with Trembley telling them a story. "And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for, like, three hours. Bottom line, George Washington was a  **jerk**."

"A-greed!"said Mabel. She saw Pacifica alone and ran up to her. "Hey, Pacifica! I uncovered a government conspiracy about the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States! Who's silly now?"Pacifica continued to look ahead.

"What? Who is that idiot?"the blonde pointed at Trembley, who had his fists up and chasing a bald eagle. "Put up your dukes, you bald fiend!"he yelled.

"The eighth-and-a-half president of America. I know what you're thinking, 'How is he still alive?'. Well, turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle and it-"she was cut off by the Northwest heir bursting into laugher.

"Wow! You really are a sad, dumb little girl. Nice top hat, by the way."her parents laughed mockingly at that. "Good one, daughter."her father, Preston Northwest, said. "Ooh! I see your car is stuck in the mud. Enjoy walking home!"she walked away and got into a sedan.

"Aren't you going to tell her about her fraud of a grandfather?"asked Peter the young brunette.

"You know what, guys? I've got nothing to prove. I've learned to see silly as awesome!"she said proudly putting on her sweater with a smile.

The Northwest car passed them. "Well, I haven't learned anything!"Dipper grabbed the documents and whistled."Hey, Pacifica!"she ran up to the stopped car. "Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls, and your whole family is a sham. Deal with it!"she handed the documents  to Pacifica. The the car drove away and Pacifica looked out the back window shocked. "Man, revenge is underrated. That felt **awesome!** "

"I know, right?"Peter's chest swelled up with pride at that.

"Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here..."Trembley handed a bill to Dipper.. "On the negative twelve dollar bill."

She examined it and smiled. "Whoa. This is worthless."

"It's  **less** than worthless, my girl. Trembley away!"he jumped backwards onto a horse and rode away. They watched him ride before Mabel asked. "Where do you think he's going?"

"Probably jump off a cliff."the teen shrugged.

* * *

The twins were with their grunkle, who was still locked and was telling them about his day. "And then Soos came by and talked to me for like, an  **hour**."

"You've been through so much."said Mabel. Dipper used the president's key to unlock the stocks and was very pleased when it worked.

"So what's with the top hat?"asked the elder Pines, rubbing his sore wrists.

"I am a congressman."

"Pardon me?"

"You are officially pardoned."the twins laughed to Stan's confusion.

"Oy. You are a never gonna make sense, are you, kid?"

"No, I'm not, Grunkle Stan. No, I'm not. Mabel, away!"she jumped backwards and crashed into something. "I'm okay!"

* * *

Dipper was walking around when she saw Peter looking intensely at something. Smiling she walked up to him and saw what he was looking-no, glaring at. Across the street were Liam and Lilia dressed in pioneer clothes, talking and holding hands. Lilia closed the distance between them and whispered something to her boyfriend and giggled. Peter grabbed an apple and crushed it with his bear hand, the juice and pieces of the fruit flying everywhere and dirtying his shirt as he bared his teeth. "...You really hate the fact that they're dating, don't you?"he startled when he heard her but his eyes didn't leave the couple. "...Yes."was his simple answer. "Why is that, if you don't mind me asking?"she took a step forward as to see his expression better.

He didn't answer, just watched the couple interact with each other, not noticing the daggers the male brunette was shooting at them. Only after they rounded a corner and disappeared out of sight did he turn to her, and she could see the emotions in his eyes: sadness, anger, jealousy and longing. He sighed and sat on a square bale. "...I don't think she deserves him."he was looking at his shoes, frustrated at something but he wasn't sure at what; or at least that was what he told himself.

"You're jealous."stated Dipper and he immediately snapped his head up, so fast that she wondered how he didn't get a whiplash. "Ëxplain."he commanded. "You dislike the fact that Lilia is dating Liam. You think that you should be the one dating him because you love him, Peter."he opened his mouth to protest at that claim but she continued. "I saw how you two danced at the party. How happy you were when he was in your arms."he looked down again. "But you can't force them to break up; and that is not a challenge."she said quickly before he got any ideas. "They have to break up on their own, because of their own reasons."she gave him a small smile. "But that doesn't mean you can't keep flirting with him until then."he looked at her surprised before he smiled, not smirked but smiled. "Thanks, brat... You give pretty good advice."


	9. A little time travel never hurt anyone

It was morning in Gravity Falls and a fair was being constricted behind the Mystery Shack. "There she is, Mabel; the cheapest fair money can rent. I spared every expense."said Stan to his niece. Someone was screaming and with a loud thud something crashed behind the two Pines. Dust cleared to reveal Dipper in a broken sky tram car.

"I think the sky tram is broken. Also, most of my bones."she got out of the wreckage.

"Ha ha, this girl. Alright, alright. I've got a job for you two."Stan pulled out a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates with the letter A+ on them. "I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit."he handed them to Dipper who gave half to her twin.

"Grunkle Stan, is that legal?"asked Mabel.

"When there's no cops around, anything's legal!"he walked up to Soos. "Soos, how's that dunk tank coming along?"

The handyman was using a blowtorch on the handle of a dunk tank. "Almost ready to go, Mr. Pines."

Stan knocked on the target and the seat barely moved. "Ha, you've got it rigged from here to Timbuktu! There's nothing on Earth that could knock me down!"

"Yeah, except for like a futuristic laser arm cannon."

"Ah. Hey, you haven't seen my red screwdriver, have ya? Darn thing went missing."he searched through the toolbox next to Soos.

"Maybe some magical creature or paranormal thing-um took it."

"You've been spending too much time with those kids."he kept digging around the box and mumbled. "Alright, let's see where'd I put that thing."

A few feet away from them behind some portable toilets hid a man. He was heavyset, light-skinned and bald. He was wearing gray and cream goggles and a light gray jumpsuit with simple white boots. "The mission is proceeding as planned."he said to his white watch. "Over."he used Stan's missing red screwdriver to fix his watch, making his jumpsuit change into different sceneries before becoming see through but leaving the skin that was showing (his head and hands) visible.

* * *

"It's 12 o'clock!"Stan said through a megaphone. "The Dunk Tank is now open!"people covered their ears as the megaphone screeched. "Step right up, and dunk me folks!"Stan pointed at a guy eating a pretzel. "I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!"people gathered around the dunk tank. "That's right! Muffin-Top, High-Pants! Who wants a piece of me?"tourists threw balls at the target but failed to knock down Stan who laughed at their attempt. "Ahahahaha! Come back anytime, folks! Ahahahaha!"

* * *

Dipper and Wendle were eating corn dogs that were shaped like question marks. "How do they get them into this shape? It's unnatural."asked the pre-teen.

"But Dipper, they're so..."the teen held up his corn dog at the end of the sign that said 'DELICIOUS'. "delicious?"they laughed at the joke. A little bit of mustard dripped on the redhead's sleeve. "Aw, boo! I'll be right back."he left.

"I'll be right here! Haha!"she laughed and whispered. "I love you!"

"Look at you."said Peter holding a bag of popcorn. "Finally decided to make a move, haven't you?"

"Yeah! I mean, I gave you advice on how to deal with your crush now I guess it's time I do something about mine."

He smiled and ruffled her hair. "About time you did. Can't have you giving great relationship advice without you following it yourself."she blushed at that. "I'm guessing you were the one who asked to go to the fair?"he got a nod as an answer. "Not bad."he sniffed the air. "You smell smell a whole gallon of hairspray?"

As if on cue, Robin walked up to them. "Hey, have either of you guys seen Wendle around?"

"Who wants to know?"asked the young brunette. Robin took some of Peter's popcorn. "Yeah, I got some new super tight jeans."she put her leg on a crate as to show off. "Thought he might want to check 'em out."

Peter looked at her up and down before snorting. "They make your butt look big and are not really your style."

She blushed in embarrassment and glared at him. "No they don't, you pervert!"yet she looked behind herself.

Dipper snickered at that. "You know, I think I saw him in the Bottomless Pit. You should really go jump in there."

The raven glared at her. "Maybe I will, smart girl."she tried to bump into Dipper when she walked away but Peter pulled her away.

"What a bitch."said the young adult.

"Yeah, but she's a bitch with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep her away from Wendle at all costs."said Dipper.

"Don't worry kid. I'll help you almost every step of the way."reassured Peter.

"Almost?"she raised an eyebrow and he snorted. "You think the reason I came here was to have fun. I'm here to sabotage Liam's date."she gave him a disapproving look to which he rolled his eyes. "Where's your sister? I haven't seen her all day."

"Last time I saw her she was with Christina."she smiled when she saw Wendle approach them. "Hey, what did I miss?"

"Oh, nothing."she lied and Wendle looked at Peter questionably. "Who's this?"

"Peter."he extended his hand. "Peter Hunters; Dipper's friend."

Wendle shook his hand, noting how strongly the brunette was squizing. "Wendle Corduroy."

Peter gave a grin that send shivers down the redhead's spine and turned to the young girl. "I should get going. Don't want something **bad** to happen on my sister's date."he turned to leave. "Later, kid."

"So how exactly did you meet him?"

"I met him when solving grunkle Stan's wax figure's murder. He's Lilia's brother."

"Ah."he looked around and spotted a stand. "Whoa, check it out! I don't know if it's a tiger or a dog, but I want one!"they walked up to the stand.

"My uncle taught me the secret to these games. You aim for the carnie's head, and take the prize when he's unconscious."said Dipper and Wendle laughed. "One ball, please."she payed the man.

The carnie gave her a ball. "You only get one chance."

She looked at Wendle, who gave her a thumbs up, before looking at the pyramid of bottles. "And a-one and a-two and a-three!"she threw the ball but it hit the edge of the table and bounced back, hitting Wendle in the eye.

"AH! MY EYE!"he cried out in pain.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Wendle! Are you okay?"she panicked.

"Does it look swollen?"he removed his hands to reveal a black eye.

"Everything's gonna be fine! Don't worry! I'll-I'll go get some ice!"she ran to the back of the shack where the ice box was before running back. "Where is he, where is he?"she ran into a man, dropping and spilling the ice everywhere. "Hey, watch where you're going, man!"she scraped the ice while the man grabbed what seemed to be a tape measurer and running off. After finishing scraping the ice she ran to Wendle but stopped when she heard Robin.

"Just ease your eyeball into that freezy cone."she was holding a freezy cone against Wendle's black eye.

"Robin, thanks. That's really sweet. The gesture, and the flavored syrup."

"Yeah, I was just here at the right place at the right time. Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you.. we've been spending a lot of time together and I was wondering if, maybe, you want to go out with me?"she shyly asked.

The redhead thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Sweet!"

A balloon shaped like a hearth was popped behind the horrified girl with a dart. All of the ice fell out of the bag when she released her hold on it. Petr walked up to her looking very pleased with himself. "How's the date going, kid?"

"Everything is different now."she said and he raised an eyebrow before following her gaze and raising the other one too.

* * *

Night soon fell and the lights on the ferris wheel were turned on. Dipper was laying on a 'Slopey Toss' game. "Uh, are you gonna move?"a guy wanting to play the game asked. She sighed and he left disappointedly. Peter walked up to her holding a can of Pit Cola and a can of beer.

"How are you holding up?"he gave her the cola.

"Thanks."she stood up. "Peter, do you ever wish you could go back and undo just one mistake?"

"Every damn day."he took a swing of his beer. "Why?"

"I mean Wendle only went out with Robin because she was there with the ice and he needed the ice because of the baseball, and I would've had the ice if it wasn't for..."she gasped. "that guy!"she pointed to a bald guy. "Hey, you! Toolbelt! You ruined my life!"she waked up to him.

"Huh?"the man looked at her confusedly.

"I've seen you before. What's your deal? Are you following these kids around?"asked Peter, already reaching for his gun.

"AAAAAGH! My position has been COMPROMISED! Assuming stealth mode!"the man twisted his watch, making his suit change to different backgrounds. "Color match! Initiating color match! Come on, dang it!"he took out the stolen screwdriver and tried to fix the watch.

"...You're not from this time era are you?"asked Peter, hand still on his gun.

"Uh, NO!! Who told you that?! MEMORY WIPE!"he threw a wet wipe in Dipper's face. She examined the wipe. "This is a baby wipe."

The man sighed in defeat. "All right, you've cornered me. I'm... a time traveler."

"So wait a minute, if you're from the future, do you have like a time machine, or something?"the girl asked.

"That's... kinda how it works."he said. Behind him was the ferris wheel where Robin and Wendle came into view. "Can I borrow it?"asked innocently Dipper.

* * *

"Come on,"whined Dipper. "can I use your time machine just once?"

"No! Out of the question! You know, this is sensitive extremely complicated time equipment."he pulled out the machine which looked like a tape measurer to show them.

"That a fucking tape measurer, dumbass."said Peter.

"It's bad to swear at kids."nagged the bald man.

"Fuck you, I can do whatever I want."

"Who are you?"quickly butted in Dipper before the men started fighting.

"Blendin Blandin, Time Anomaly Removal Crew year 207̃012 (sñeventy-twelve)."he pulled out his futuristic ID card. "My mission is to stop a time anomaly that is suppose to happen at this very location! But-but I don't see any anomalies! I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or I'm just really tired..."he sat down on a crate.

Peter smirked, getting an idea. "You sound like you could use a break."

Dipper followed his lead. "Definitely. May we recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?"

Blendin stood up. "You know what? What the heck! I'm worth it!"he started to leave. "But I've got my eye on you! Ehhh... ehhh..."he headed to a barrel ride, which Soos operated. "One please."

"Uh, sorry dude but you're gonna have to take your belt off for the ride. One of your tools might fly off and accidentally fix something."explained the handyman. Blendin took off his belt and gave it to Soos. "Guard it with your life."

"I will watch it like a hawk, dude."promised Soos. Once Blendin was in a barrel Soos started the ride, he set the belt on a barrel next to him. Peter reached over and grabbed the belt. As he was walking away from the ride Soos yelled. "Like a hawk!" Peter grumbled. "What a shitty hawk."which earned him a slap on his arm from Dipper.

* * *

Dipper and Peter were sitting on a couch on the porch of the shack, examining the time machine. "So the plan is to go back in time and make sure you don't mess up your throw right?"asked Peter and Dipper confirmed. "Then let's go."he pulled out some tape. "Grab onto me."she wrapped her arms around his arm and he let go. There was a flash of light making everything freeze. The duo disappeared and everything rewinded.

They reappeared on the couch but Dipper's hat was on fire. Peter quickly patted the fire off as Stan's voice was heard saying. "It's 12 o'clock! The dunk tank is now open! Step right up and dunk me folks! I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!"they grinned at each other. "Let's go."

Dipper caught up with Wendle, Peter was somewhere behind, hiding and watching. "Hey, Wendle!"she greeted.

"There you are. Hey, what happened to your hat?"

"Uh, nothing. Hey, look! What's that?"she pointed at the ball toss stand.

"Whoa! Check it out! I don't know if it's a tiger or a dog, but I want one."

"One ball, please."she said to the carnie.

"You only get one chance."he warned.

"That's what you think..."she murmured. "One tiger-dog, comin' right up! Okay, Dipper, second chance, don't mess this up."she said the last part more to herself. She threw the ball, knocking all of the bottles. "Yes!"she cheered but it was too early; the ball hit the back of the stand, bouncing back it hit Wendle's eye making him cry out in pain. "What?!"

"Does it look swollen?"he asked her.

She looked at her hands. "That's so weird..."

"Oh, hey Robin."that caught her attention. Robin was using a freezy as an icepack for Wendle's injured eye. "So anyway, we've been hanging out a lot and I've been wondering if, maybe, you would want to go out with me?"Robin asked shyly while playing with the string on her hoodie.

"Yeah, I guess so."shrugged Wendle.

* * *

Dipper was pacing in front of Peter, who was eating a hot dog. "The exact same thing happened twice; it was spooky."

Peter looked at her with an unreadable expression. "I think I know what the problem is."she stopped pacing as to give him her undivided attention. "It's possible that the forces of time naturally conspire to undo any new outcomes. It has happened to me a couple of times."he shrugged. "There are two possible outcomes that the forces of time allow: whether or not you win the toy in both cases you will hit Wendle and give him a black eye."

She frowned at that. "So there's no way to win without hitting him?"

He snorted. "I said that there two outcomes that are **allowed**. I never said that there aren't more that are not allowed."

"So how do I do that?"

"Figure it yourself. You're smart enough."he stood up. "While you think I'll go get us something to eat. Any preferences?"

"No thanks."

* * *

When Peter returned with ice cream he found Dipper in deep thought, writing on a popcorn machine, muttering to herself. "...I just thought the wind speed.. factoring cotton candy..."

"How's it going?"he looked at her calculations and smiled.

"Good, nearly done."she tapped her chin with the marker. "But there's one variable missing..."

He walked to the other side of the popcorn machine and put his face next to the equal sign. "A variable?"he smiled when her eyes brightened.

"That's it! I've figured out to win the toss, not hit Wendle, and stop him and Robin from going out!"she stopped and lightly glared at him. "You asshole! You knew about this all along, didn't you?"

He gave her a what could be only described as a shit eating grin. "It's good to know that my bad swearing habits have been rubbing off on you and of course I knew. I've had the same problem several times over, just wanted to see if you could solve it. Can't have you always relying on me for every problem, now can we?"

She huffed at that before smiling, seeing the logic in that. "I guess you're right."she pulled out the tape measurer. "One more time?"

He grabbed her hand and pulled the tape. "One more."he let go. They reappeared several hours early and set out to do Dipper's plan after she had explained it. Dipper was at the stand looking wind speeds as she held a ball. "Are you gonna go?"asked Wendle.

"And a-one and a-two and a-uh!"she threw the ball straight up.

"Ah! Dude! You missed!"exclaimed the teen.

"Did I?"the ball came back down, rolled down the tent, flew up, hit the windgage, rolled down a pipe which Peter lifted up, and flew at the dunk tank target, hitting the target but nothing happened, the ball came back, hitting a guy's pizza and Robin's snow cone, flew between Dipper and Wendle, knocking down all the cans, bounced off the back of the stand, breaking through the top of the tent.

"Your stuffed creature of indeterminate species, sir."the carnie gave Wendle the plushie.

He squeezed the toy and it gave out a squeak. "Oh, awesome!"Dipper took off her hat and the ball fell into it.

"There you are, Wendle!"said Robin as she walked up to him.

"Hey, Robin."greeted the redhead.

"So I was wondering if I.. you a..."

"Look what Dipper got for me!"he interrupted, holding out the tiger-dog with a grin.

"Pfft. Whatever. Can't even tell what species it is. Stupid."Robin pulled the hood over her head and walked away.

"What's her deal? Psh, looks like I came to the fair with the right girl."he smiled at the pre-teen.

* * *

Dipper and Wendle finished riding the tunnel of love, laughing and eating corn dogs. "That was even more awesome the third time around! Funnel cake! Let's go get some, Dipper!"the teen ran off.

"You seem to be having fun."said Peter.

"Yeah."she agreed and hugged him. "Thanks Peter. I don't know what I could have done without you."

"Probably sacrificed this for your dumb twin's happiness."he said lowly.

"Hmm? You say something?"she let him go. "No."he lied.

"YOU TWO!"yelled Blendin.

Peter looked at him disinterestedly but still stepped in front of Dipper. He took out the time machine and threw it to him. "Here's your precious machine. Now go away."

"No way! Do you have any idea, how many rules you just broke?! I'm asking; I wasn't there with you... it was probably a lot, right?"from angry Blendin became nervous.

Two men appeared next to Blendin. Lolph, as read on his name tag, was light-skinned and had short, dirty blond hair with bangs and was tall and muscular. He was wearing a uniform consisting of a gray shirt, black vest with an hourglass symbol on it, dark gray pants, a black belt with a sea foam green buck, sea foam green gloves, black and gray boots, black shoulder pads, gray knee pads and a targeting system over his left eye. The other man, Dundgren, was dark-skinned with short black hair and had a physique similar to Lolph's, though he was a bit taller. He was wearing a uniform almost identical to Lolph's, though he lacked shoulder pads and his targeting system was over his right eye. "Blendin Blandin..."said Dundgren.

"AAAAGH! The Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron!!"Blendin jumped a foot in the air.

"You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct."Lolph handcuffed the shorter man and lead him away.

"It was those two!"yelled Blendin. "I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never MEET!!"

"Fuck off Blendin!"yelled Peter as he flipped him off. "I made enough deals with devils to insure that they meet!"

"You made deals with devils?"at this point Dipper wasn't surprised at the things the older brunette had done.

"Yeah. I have a lot of enemies around the multiverse that want me dead. I take great pride in that."he gloated. "Some of them can time travel so I made a couple of deals here and there to make sure that I am born and survive. Which reminds me; we should do something about ensuring that you are born."

"I trust that you know the best with whom I can make a deal?"

"Oh, yeah."there was suddenly a scream which turned a lot of heads. There a couple of feet away from the duo was Robin, wet, and her pants were shrinking. People started pointing and laughing at her.

"Did you have anything to do with that?"asked Dipper as she laughed.

"She deserved it."said Peter.

* * *

**Year 207̃012**

Everything was white. A crowd dressed similarly like Lolph and Dundgred surrounded Blendin Blandin as he was being suspended in the air by some kind of blue energy coming from the forehead of a huge baby. The baby had a hourglass symbol on it's forehead and was only wearing a diaper. "You have broken the eternal laws of space time!"it said in a deep masculine voice.

"I beg your mercy, Time Baby!"pleaded Blendin.

"What seems to be the problem here?"asked a new voice as a black sphere with red accents appeared and grew to a bigger size, big enough for a man to come out of it and it happened. The man had reddish brown hair and brown eyes. He was wearing a white button up shirt with long sleeves, black pants and black leather shoes. He also wore a dark red coat with golden buttons, the end of it nearly reaching the white ground. There were collective gasps when the man appeared.

"Time Lord, what are you doing here?"the baby asked. The man, Time Lord, nodded in greeting. "I came here because I heard a commotion."his smiled gently. "Now I repeat; what seems to be the problem here?"

"Blendin Blandin has broken the eternal laws of time. I was about to give him his punishment."answered Time Baby.

"Oh?"the lord looked at the bald man. "Is that true, Blandin?"

"N-no, sir!"he said. "It was Dipper Pines and Peter Hunters' fault!"

"Hmm? Hunters?"his eyes turned cold. "You are forbidden to meddle with them unless I say so."that surprised the others.

"Why is that, Time Lord?"asked the baby.

Time Lord gave a chilly smile that made the others tremble in fright. "Because that is my lovely little sister's pupil and my new **sister**."he turned to leave. The others stayed wisely silent as he went through the black sphere. Time Lord appeared in a living room as the sphere behind him shrunk and disappeared. He sighed and looked at a leather couch where a teenage girl with shoulder length brown hair slept. She was wearing white high-waist shorts, a pale pink crop top with a white crown on it and white socks. He looked outside the window, noting that it was nighttime and lifted the girl, carrying her bridal style. He walked up the stairs to the second floor, turning right and heading to a white door with the name 'Diana' written on it in cursive red letters. He whispered something and the door opened on it's own, revealing a girl's bedroom. He walked silently inside and gently lowered the teenager onto the soft bed. He sat down on the edge of the bed, petting her head and just staring at her. After a few moments he got up and left. Just as he was closing the door the girl spoke, her voice tired and barely above a whisper. "'Night, dad."

He looked at her, a small smile gracing his handsome face. "Goodnight, Diana."he closed the door.


End file.
